


Chase the Light

by ohemgeeitscoley



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canon Jewish Character, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Felicity Smoak is Jewish, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Hanukkah, Jewish Holidays, Mild Angst, Mild Sexual Content, Mutual Pining, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-18
Updated: 2017-05-26
Packaged: 2018-05-27 10:11:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 63,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6280465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohemgeeitscoley/pseuds/ohemgeeitscoley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Felicity Smoak’s romantic home-for-the-holidays plans fall through, Tommy Merlyn offers to act as substitute at the last second. Felicity is reluctant, worried the situation might forever alter the very nature of their friendship. But, well… </p>
<p>He is cheaper than an escort.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [always_a_queen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/always_a_queen/gifts), [Abbie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abbie/gifts), [StoriesOfImagination](https://archiveofourown.org/users/StoriesOfImagination/gifts).



> The biggest thank you in the world to Always_A_Queen, Abbie, and StoriesofImagination for all of the cheerleading and betaing and general amazingness. And to Rosietwiggs for answering all of my questions.

“Is there a reason you are sleeping on my bar?”

Felicity grumbled, not bothering to answer as she attempted to bury her head further into her elbow. She didn’t need to lift her head up to be able to perfectly imagine the smug look that would be on his face. The amusement in his voice was clear to her, and honestly after her day, the last thing she needed was to deal with a smug and amused Tommy Merlyn.

And she knew if she lifted her head up, he would see her ruined mascara and red eyes and know that something had happened. Even if her makeup had managed to survive her earlier crying, he would likely still know. Dealing with a smug and amused Tommy would be easier to deal with than an angry, who-hurt-my-best-friend Tommy any day.

So she kept her head down, barely making an attempt to shrug her shoulders while she waited for Tommy give up and leave her alone. 

Which given her extensive knowledge of him, she should have known that he wasn’t going to leave without an answer. 

“I’m not sleeping,” she said, after Tommy began impatiently tapping his fingers against the bar counter, trying to maintain a flat and emotionless tone.

“What do you call what you are doing then?” Tommy asked. Felicity could hear the shift in his voice, the joy and teasing slipping with every word and being replaced with concern.

“I’m…” she paused, shaking her head against her arms as she sighed loudly, if not a bit exaggerated, while lifting her head up from her arms just enough for her eyes to meet Tommy’s gaze. She watched as the last bit of humor and lightness fell from his face as he took in her appearance.  
“I’m moping,” she finally admitted as she moved to completely sit up.

Tommy’s eyes darkened as he reached across the bar to rest his hand on her elbow. “What happened? Ben said you were upset, he didn’t say you were crying.”

Felicity pulled her arm away from Tommy’s hand, wiping her fingers across her face. “Well I told Ben not to tell you anything,” Felicity said, her eyebrow raising in defiance as she pressed her palms harder against the edge of the bar. 

“I guess it’s a good thing I sign his paycheck,” Tommy quipped, ignoring the pointed look Felicity gave him. “What happened? Did something happen with Mike--”

The sob that tore through Felicity at the mention of his name was one she had been desperate to avoid. She raised her hand to her mouth, closing her eyes as she tried to regain control over her emotions.

She did not want to be this girl. She swore when she made the decision to come to the bar instead of going to her apartment that she would not cry. She was not going to a bar to drink and cry on her best friend’s shoulder. She was going to a bar to drink and distract herself from the whole mess.

But then Tommy was walking around the bar, wrapping his arms around Felicity before she could protest. And well, anyone who tried to blame her for doing so, clearly had never touched his shoulder.

Felicity let herself enjoy the comfort Tommy was offering her. Placing her head against his neck, she wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him closer. His hands fell from her shoulders, slipping lower until he began rubbing soft, slow circles against the center of her back.

Felicity let out a deep breath after a few moments before pulling back, reaching up to her face to wipe away the tears again. She glanced down at Tommy’s shirt, grimacing at the stain at the top.

She ran her fingers along the edge of the fabric, frowning as she looked up at him. “Sorry about that.”

Tommy shook his head, pushing a piece of hair behind her ear. “What happened?” He asked, his fingers sliding against her cheek before he pulled his hand away. “I thought things with him were going great. Like taking him home for Hanukkah great.”

Felicity snorted, loud and unattractive, while she rolled her eyes. “Yeah, things were going great,” she started bitterly as she shook her head before continuing, “until I showed up to take him to the airport.”

Tommy waited as Felicity stopped, her eyes welling up with fresh tears. “And,” he prodded gently, resting a hand on her shoulder, his fingers rubbing small circles against her shirt.

“And his wife had very different feelings about him going home with me.”

Tommy took a step back, his eyes widening as Felicity words fully washed over him. “His wife?” He repeated, his voice dropping.

“Yeah. Wife.” Felicity shook her head in disbelief, her stomach clenching for a moment in fear that Tommy would judge her. That he would think of her differently now. 

She pushed the fear aside the best that she could, she had no reason to believe Tommy would think any less of her. It wasn't as if she had known. 

And even she had known, Tommy had never judged her before. It wasn't likely that he would now.

“Eight months, Tommy,” she continued, looking down at her feet. “I’ve been seeing him for eight months. And he was married the entire time. God, how stupid could I be?”

“Hey,” Tommy started as he placed his hand underneath her chin, tipping her head up until she was looking at him. “You are anything but stupid. He--” Tommy stopped, looking away from Felicity briefly as his eyes narrowed in anger. 

“He is an absolute dick,” he finished, looking back at Felicity. 

Felicity shook her head before lowering it back down to the bar. “Well I feel like the idiot.”

Tommy sighed, pushing his hair back as he stood and watched Felicity beat herself up. The anger he was feeling was evident in the way he moved as he bent down until he was eye level with Felicity. 

She barely glanced at him, her eyes only opening long enough for him to see the wetness from her tears before she shut them again, blocking them out.

He knelt next to her, one hand pressed against her back, the other running along the side of her face. He waited patiently for her to open back up to him, not saying anything until she did.

Eventually she turned her head to the side so that her arm was no longer hiding half of her face. Tommy used his fingers to wipe away the remaining tears from her face as he gave her a small reassuring smile.

“Want me to to beat him up?” He asked, his tone teasing, but Felicity knew he meant the words.

Felicity gave a breathless laugh as she reached up to place her hand on top of his. “I don't even know why I'm crying. I told myself I wasn't going to cry.” She sat back up, dropping her hand from Tommy’s as she started nodding. “I'm going to stop crying now.”

“Good plan. Crying stage of breakup complete,” Tommy said, stretching his back as he stood up. “What's stage two?”

Felicity pushed her lips out in a pout as she tilted her head back. “Stage two is to call my mom and break the news that I'm not on a plane, that I'm not coming home, and that the first guy I was planning on bringing home turned out to be married.”

Felicity let out a slow breath as she closed her eyes before she reached down for her phone. “Should go perfectly smooth,” she joked, waving the phone in the air. “She's not going to be heartbroken at all.”

“Why don't you still go home? Catch the next flight. There's no reason to give up your vacation for him too, Felicity.”

“And deal with my mom? No. I'd rather pay for an escort to pretend to be my boyfriend for the week than go home without one.”

Felicity flinched after she spoke, her head tipping forward again. “God. I really just said that. I really just thought that.”

“An escort, “ Tommy repeated, a smile spreading across his face as Felicity brushed. “You've been watching too many movies. Besides, don't you think Donna knows enough about Mike to know that whatever escort you might be able to find in the next few hours isn't him?”

“No, actually, she doesn’t even know his name.” Felicity’s eyes lit up as she started realizing how little she had actually told Donna about Mike. “I waited for awhile before I even brought up that I had a boyfriend, I mean, you know my mom, Tommy. It would have been all Mike and questions every time we talked. Even without knowing anything about him, she was starting to ask more questions. It was her idea to come home for Hanukkah so she could meet him.”

Felicity stood up, grabbing her purse and jacket. “I’m going to go find an escort.”

She nodded as she said the words like she was trying to underscore her point while she began to put on her jacket. She paused, one arm halfway placed in the sleeve, her eyes narrowing as she hit the first roadblock to her plan.

She looked up at Tommy then, an apologetic look on her face as she finished sliding her arm into the sleeve. “I promise I am asking this with no judgment. But, uh, do you happen to know where I can find an escort?”

Tommy raised his eyebrows, shaking his head in disbelief as he let out a low whistle. “You wound me.”

Felicity’s face fell as she sat back down on the barstool. “Well, it was a Plan B anyway. A really expensive Plan B.”

“What if I went home with you?” Tommy offered, his words rushed.

“What?” Felicity asked in surprise, her eyebrows raising as she looked at him. 

“I could go home with you,” Tommy stated slowly, as if he was trying to convince himself of what he was saying.

Felicity paused, her mouth opening a few times in silence before she let herself think about what he was offering. It could work. Donna had made more than one comment over the years about how Felicity should date Tommy. What a cute couple they would be, how they already had half of the common relationship problems out of the way by starting out as friends. 

Donna would have no problem believing that she and Tommy had finally gotten it together. That they had gotten together. 

The problem was that Felicity wasn’t sure she trusted herself to go down that path. 

“What are you trying to say, Tommy?” Felicity asked, seeking clarification, needing to make sure Tommy was proposing what she believed. The last thing she needed was to think she was agreeing for him to to replace Mike on this trip when he was only offering to go as her friend for support.

“I’m saying, I could…” Tommy paused, closing his eyes as he laughed quietly under his breath. “I could be your Hanukkah boyfriend.”

“No,” Felicity said, not immediate enough to stop her nerves from humming. “It’s just Hanukkah, Tommy. I’ll tell my mom about Mike. I’ll deal with whatever I get from her. I’ll book my plane ticket home for Passover and it’ll blow over.”

“Felicity--”

“No. I'll just tell her things with work are too crazy. I mean, I do own my own business. Things can get crazy,” Felicity justified, resting her hands on her hips. “Maybe I'll tell her about Mike in a few months. When I'm in a better place to deal with my mom dealing with my breakup. Besides, she'd probably love a surprise visit in, say, March, compared to Hanukkah anyway.” 

Felicity stopped, pulling her lip between her teeth as she reached out, placing her hand on Tommy’s shoulder. “Thank you for offering though. You are the best friend a girl could ask for.”

Felicity let her hand drop down from his shoulder awkwardly, digging her nails into her palm as she did. “Besides, what about Alice? I highly doubt your girlfriend would be okay with you coming home with me.”

“Alice and I broke up.” Tommy said, simply and straightforward, as if he was only reminding her of something she had already known.

Which she certainly didn’t and from the overwhelming look of guilt that was spreading over Tommy’s face, he knew.

“When?” Felicity asked, leaning back against the bar as she looked at him. “And if your answer isn’t ‘within the last forty-eight hours,’ please feel free to go straight into your explanation as to why you kept it from me.”

“Well,” Tommy said, letting out a deep breath slowly as he nervously placed his hands in his jean pockets. “We broke up a month ago.”

“Tommy!”

Tommy winced, giving Felicity an almost apologetic shrug. “It wasn’t a big deal.”

“Not a big deal?” Felicity deadpanned, tilting her head as she looked at him. “Tommy, you and Alice got together the same time Mike and I did. And you know what? Our breakup is a big deal to me, so is yours.” 

Felicity pulled at her ponytail, desperate to do something with her hands as she looked away from Tommy. 

“What happened?” She finally asked, looking back at Tommy. 

Tommy shrugged again, digging his hands deeper into his jeans while he moved to stand next to Felicity. “I think she assumed that by dating Tommy Merlyn she was getting, you know, Tommy Merlyn. Not the guy who walked away from his trust fund and that entire,” he paused, taking a deep breath before exhaling it slowly and looking down at the ground. ”That entire life.”

“Well that settles it,” Felicity said while clapping her hands together. “We are both attracted to dicks.”

Tommy laughed, surprised at Felicity’s reaction. “Maybe we can go to couples counseling when we get back from Donna’s.”

“Tommy,” Felicity whined, turning her head to the side to look at him. She sighed as she took in the sincerity in his eyes. There was no doubt in her that he wouldn’t go through with this. “So, we what, pretend to be dating so I can make it through Hanukkah? And then what? You going to go home with me for every holiday?”

“Maybe every other?” Tommy joked, bumping his shoulder against Felicity’s. “We could plan out a schedule at the beginning of the year. Maybe an online calendar.”

“I’m serious. This isn’t a solution; this is just a bandaid.”

“But I am a very cute bandaid,” Tommy pointed out, grinning at Felicity as she rolled her eyes. “And I am much cheaper than an escort.”

Felicity snorted, tipping her head down until it rested on Tommy’s shoulder.

“What do you have to lose, Felicity?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper, his breath hot against her skin. 

Felicity moved back slightly, just enough that she could look at Tommy, her chin still resting against him. “And how do you know you’ll be able to resist falling in love with me?”

Tommy smiled, his eyes shifting away from her gaze as he responded. “Don’t worry about me.”

Felicity nodded, stepping back from Tommy. It was good to know that Tommy would be able to stop himself from developing feelings for her.

Felicity just was just worried she wouldn’t be able to keep hiding hers.

“Okay,” she said finally, agreeing to what she knew might be the worst idea ever. “Let’s go catch a plane.”

\---

Tommy stared down at the now full duffel bag on his bed, tugging at the zipper until it was fully shut. He had spent the entire time driving from the club to his apartment trying to convince himself that offering to be Felicity's fake boyfriend wasn't the worst idea of his life.

He had spent the time it took him to pack trying to stop himself from thinking of how it could be a great idea. That maybe eight nights of pretending to be together would open up doors that had always been firmly shut between them.

Doors that he had rarely let himself dream of being open. Dangerous doors. Ones that he had to stop thinking about if he was going to survive Hanukkah with his and Felicity's friendship in tact.

And it had to be. Losing his friendship with Felicity wasn't an option. There was a reason he had never told Felicity about his feelings. 

He didn't want to taint their friendship. The risk of her not feeling the same about him… it was too likely and large.

She meant too much to him.

He glanced down at his phone. He could call her, tell her that she had been right. The whole idea was crazy. She would understand. 

She probably wouldn't even question why he was changing his mind.

Grabbing his phone, he quickly unlocked it, sliding his fingers across the screen until he had Felicity's number pulled up.

His stomach clenched as he looked at her contact image, her face bright and happy. Such a stark contrast to the heartbroken way she had looked when she told him what Mike had done to her.

He tossed his phone back down on to the mattress, refusing to let himself go down the particular path of what he was planning on doing if he ever saw Mike again.

He had used Felicity, made her feel less than. Toying with her emotions as he led her on, knowing the entire time that he was married.

It didn't make sense to Tommy. How somebody could have Felicity and still want more.

Tommy wasn't going to let her down.

He had managed to live with and hide his feelings from Felicity for years. He could handle eight nights of pretending to be her boyfriend. 

Eight nights to find out how that would actually feel. They would have to be a couple for this to work.

He knew Felicity's mom. There was no way they were going to make it through the week with just a few hugs and some hand holding. 

Maybe pretending to be together would open up a door. Maybe Felicity would realize that she felt something more for him too.

Tommy grabbed the bag from his bed as he stopped himself from finishing his thoughts. He dropped the bag next to his door, shaking his head slowly.

He couldn't think that way.

He was doing a favor for a friend. Anything that happened between them wasn't going to be real. They were going to be pretending to be together. Nothing would be real. 

Nothing was going to change in eight nights.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the comments/kudos. I am super excited to keep sharing this story with you all. Just a quick note, my class schedule got all messed up for my next class, so I'm going to have to switch the update day from Thursdays to Tuesdays. So the next update won't be until April 5th.

 

“So, do you think we should make this social network official?” Tommy asked out of nowhere, his fingers drumming against his leg.

Felicity looked up from her tablet, her eyes narrowing at him as she shook her head.

“Yeah, because I definitely want to explain to not only my mother why we broke up, but the rest of our mutual friends.”

“You actually think that your mom isn’t going to go crazy about this once we get to Vegas?”

Felicity bit down on her bottom lip, looking away from Tommy and across the gate lobby. She honestly hadn’t given much thought to how her mother would react outside of bracing herself for the initial screeching. But Tommy was right. Her mother had recently begun photo documenting her every move.

There was no way they were getting through Hanukkah without a single picture being taken of them, or without one status update from her mom mentioning their relationship. It would be a miracle.

“I could block the websites once we get to her apartment,” Felicity suggested, tilting her head to the side before turning to look at Tommy again. “Accidently break her cell phone?”

Tommy didn’t say anything in response, his eyes simply remaining on her, patiently waiting for her to either cave or come up with an actual alternative.

She closed her eyes, carefully counting down from ten as she tried to figure out what she wanted to say. A full night’s sleep and half a day of planning and preparing and she still couldn’t quite believe they were going through with the plan. She had been certain that at some point he was going to look at her and say he was kidding, toss her a number to an escort company, and walk away laughing.

Not that Tommy had ever walked away from her before.

But the idea of _them_ spreading outside of her mom’s knowledge hadn't been something she had given much thought. Everything Tommy had said was valid. They weren't going to be able to keep it a secret.

Felicity opened her eyes, surprised to find Tommy still staring at her.

“Flight 207 is preparing to board at Gate 10. All passengers please prepare for boarding,” a female voice came over the intercom, pulling Felicity and Tommy’s attention away from the question.

“Saved by the plane,” Felicity teased, stretching slowly as she stood from the chair and grabbed her carry on. “Guess we’ll just have to worry about this after we land.”

Tommy stood slowly, his carry on strapped across his shoulder.

“Or we could take some control and post it ourselves. Not have your mom expose our relationship. Have to deal with Oliver and Sara questioning why we kept it a secret.”

Felicity rolled her eyes, moving forward toward the gate.

“Do you actually think making an online relationship announcement two hours before my mom posts about it is going to stop them from questioning us?” Felicity asked as they handed the flight attendant their tickets, turning her head around to look at him as the machine beeped.

Tommy chuckled, the sound low and incredibly sexy as he pushed against her until she started moving forward.

He didn't say anything as they made their way down the terminal and onto the plane. Felicity was half buckled into her seat when he finally responded.

“I think we might as well get it over with.”

Felicity nodded, rolling her eyes as her phone beeped with a notification. She kept her eyes on Tommy as she pulled her phone out of her bag.

Tommy’s smile was almost blinding as he sat down in the seat next to her, nudging her shoulder as she looked down at the notification:

_Tommy Merlyn said you are in a relationship. Confirm?_

_“_ What do you say? Want to go steady?” Tommy teased, letting the words hang in the air as he waggled his eyebrows at her.

Shaking her head, Felicity tilted the phone toward Tommy so he could watch as she clicked the confirm button. She tried to ignore the way her heart seemed to stutter as the words Tommy Merlyn and Felicity Smoak are in a relationship flashed across her screen.

Not even thirty seconds into being a couple and Felicity had no idea how she was going to survive the week.

Her finger lingered over the power button, preparing to shut her phone down before the onslaught of comments hit when Sara’s face appeared, a string of messages appearing on the screen.

_Sara:_ Excuse you?

_Sara:_ I find out you are dating Tommy on Facebook?

_Sara:_ So much for “that’s never going to happen Sara”

_Sara:_ “He doesn’t see me that way Sara”

_Sara: “_ We’re just friends Sara.”

_Sara:_ And I thought you were dating Mike?

_Sara:_ Were things getting serious?

_Sara:_ Did Tommy finally throw a jealous fit?

_Sara:_ Why aren’t you saying anything?

_Sara:_ You can update your relationship status but you can’t answer my texts?

Rolling her eyes at Sara’s last message, Felicity waited a moment to make sure Sara was done speed texting her before beginning to type out her response.

_Felicity:_ Well, if you’d give me a chance to reply.

_Felicity:_ Tommy is just doing me a favor.

_Felicity:_ Mike has a wife.

Felicity paused after she sent the message, her eyes closing as the familiar rush of guilt swept over her. Inhaling slowly, she waited for the feeling to pass, wondering if she would ever stop feeling nauseous over what had happened. She wasn’t surprised when she opened her eyes to find a new set of messages from Sara.

_Sara:_ What kind of favor?

_Sara:_ Wait. What do you mean wife?

_Sara:_ Mike is married?

_Sara:_ Call me right now.

Felicity grimaced, pressing her head back against the headrest of her seat. This was not a phone call she particularly wanted to have at all and she really didn’t want to have it on a still boarding plane.

Felicity glanced down at her phone again as it started vibrating, the screen changing as Sara called her. She groaned, barely overcoming the urge to immediately reject the call. The last time Felicity had sent one of Sara’s calls straight to voicemail, Sara had managed to set a record for the number of calls she could initiate in a minute.

“What’s wrong?” Tommy asked, laughing at Felicity’s barely contained dismay.

Felicity turned her phone so he could see the incoming phone call. “You should see the text messages.”

Tommy gave her a sympathetic smile. “This is why I turned my phone off.”

“That would have been an idea you could have shared,” Felicity teased, rolling her eyes. “Or you could be happier that Oliver doesn’t text as fast as Sara.”

“Oh no,” Tommy said, shaking his head as he laughed. “Oliver had at least three messages sent by the time my phone shut down. I was just smart enough not to open them.”

Felicity glared at Tommy before looking back down at her phone after it stopped vibrating, the screen returning to the prior text messages.

_Felicity:_ We aren’t really together.

_Felicity:_ But my mom can’t know that.

_Felicity:_ I can’t deal with this.

_Felicity:_ It’s complicated, Sara. Really complicated

_Felicity:_ Tommy’s going home with me for Hanukkah.

_Felicity:_ The plane is about to leave.

_Felicity_ : I’ll call you tomorrow.

Felicity stared at her last message as she bit down on her lip; she was going to have some very _long_ voicemails from Sara once they landed. She shut her phone off, pushing the thoughts out of her mind, she had three hours before she needed to worry about that.

Felicity slid the phone into her purse before pushing the bag under the seat in front of her. The plane shuddered, the wheels slowly beginning to roll against the tarmac. Her breath caught at the sudden movement, her hand moving to grasp the arm rest next to the window.

“So, Merlyn,” Felicity started as the plane began to gain more momentum, her voice shaky as she tried to block out the safety spiel one of the flight attendants had begun. “Now that we're Facebook official, you should probably do your boyfriend duties and tell one of the attendants

that I'm allergic to peanuts.”

“And that you'd love one of those really disgusting biscuit cookies?” Tommy interrupted, finishing her thought.

Felicity nodded, her eyes lighting up. “Disgusting? You clearly have no idea what you are missing out on.”

Tommy didn’t get a chance to answer when he saw Felicity’s face pale as the plane began to gain speed, bouncing against the pavement a few times before finally taking lift. He reached over, squeezing her hand softly, hoping that he could help with her nerves.

“I would think that calming down my clearly still scared of flying girlfriend trumps getting a cookie.”

Felicity looked at Tommy out of the corner of her eye, squeezing his hand harder than she had anticipated as the plane dipped slightly in elevation. “I don’t know. I’m probably more likely to die from my peanut allergy getting triggered on a plane than from the plane actually crashing.”

Pursing his lips, Tommy shook his head. The idea of Felicity dying was not on his list of things he wanted to think about. “Let’s just shoot for you not dying on this plane. No matter the cause.”

Felicity didn’t respond, her fingernails digging into his hand as she squeezed her eyes shut from another bout of strong turbulence that shook through the plane.

“Are there other duties I should be aware of?” Tommy asked, hoping to distract her until the plane steadied. “I mean I know I would ace a test about the life of Felicity Smoak, but just in case, you got any big, dark secrets you want to let me in on before we land?”

Felicity snorted, her lips turning in a small, brief smile. “The things you don’t already know about me I’m planning on taking to my grave.” Tilting her head to the side, she shrugged after a moment, looking up at him. “Or at least right before my grave. If the plane goes down, I’ll let you in on them.”

Tommy chuckled, bumping his shoulder against Felicity’s until she opened her eyes to glare at him. “It’s cool. I’ll just grill your mom this week. See what kind of stories she has for me.”

Felicity rolled her eyes, gasping as the plane bounced. She shut her eyes again, leaning her head down until it rested on Tommy’s shoulder. “As if you don’t grill her every time I take you home with me.”

“Oh, but this time it is different,” Tommy pointed out, squeezing her hand. “This time I’m your boyfriend. That has to unlock some other secrets.”

“There really isn’t very much you don’t already know about me Tommy,” Felicity said quietly after a moment.

Something inside of Tommy swelled at her words, because he knew it was true. There weren’t very many things he would ever consider himself to be _good_ at, but being a good friend to Felicity had always been one of the things he wanted to be high on the list.

“Tell me about Hanukkah?” He asked while he adjusted their arms and bodies long enough to push the armrest dividing them up entirely. “I tried to do some research before we left. I know we’ve talked about it before, but I feel like I only retained that I wasn’t to buy you presents for eight days.”

“Not that it stops you from buying me an obscene amount of Christmas gifts,” Felicity grumbled, moving to curl herself up more against Tommy’s chest.

Tommy smiled, his mouth opening to respond when the pilot’s voice sounded over the speakers in the plane.

“Good evening folks, we have reached cruising altitude. Electronic devices can now be turned on safely in airplane mode. We’re going to leave the seatbelt sign on for safety though, it looks like we’re in for a bumpy ride to Vegas.”

Felicity sighed, squeezing her eyes shut tight as she shook her head. “Bumpy ride? As in ‘it could get worse’ bumpy ride?”

“Hey,” Tommy said, running his hand down her arm in comfort. “Everything’s going to be fine.”

Felicity didn’t say anything, simply nodding against him.

“So, how much is too much on the PDA?” Tommy asked a few minutes later after the plane hit another bout of turbulence, hoping to distract her as her fingers dug into his skin.

“What?” Felicity asked in confusion, pulling her head back from his shoulder to look at him.

“You know, for when we kiss in front of your mom, should we keep it Disney Princess PG, or shoot for something a little more realistic?”

Felicity’s eyes narrowed, her eyebrows dipping in confusion. She was not prepared for kissing. There would be no kissing.

“There is going to be no kissing, Tommy,” she said after a moment, her voice not really convincing that she believed what she was saying.

Briefly tilting his head to the side, it took a lot of effort for Tommy not to laugh as Felicity’s facial expression changed from confused, to horrified, and back to confused.

“Felicity,” he started, lifting one hand to brush his fingers along her jaw. “As far as the world knows, for the next week I’m your boyfriend. Kissing is a thing that tends to happen in relationships.”

“In private.” Felicity said quickly, her eyes somehow widening more as she continued to look at him. “I prepared for handholding. Maybe some arms around a waist while lighting the Menorah. Not kissing you. I don’t think I can kiss you.”

Tommy’s face fell as Felicity spoke. “I didn’t think kissing me was going to be the worst thing--”

“What?” Felicity asked in confusion, dragging the word out as she cut him off. Her face softened as she realized how he had taken what she had said. “No, Tommy. No. Kissing you would not be the worst thing, I mean have you looked in a mirror? Have you seen your lips? You are totally kissable.”

Tommy raised his eyebrow, a small smile appearing on his face as he waited for Felicity to realize what she had said.

Felicity bit down on her bottom lip, forcibly trying to stop herself from talking as she blushed. “Not that I think about kissing you. Ever. And not because you aren’t kissable,” Felicity paused, sighing as she pressed her hand against her forehead, closing her eyes briefly as she tried to collect her thoughts. She dropped her hand, looking directly at Tommy as she tried to wrap up her thought without embarrassing herself more. “I just… Tommy Merlyn is kissable. It’s common knowledge.”

“Common knowledge?” Tommy asked, his voice almost teasing.

Felicity rolled her eyes at his obvious attempt to fish for more compliments. “I don’t want things to be weird between us once this is over,” Felicity explained, doing her best to keep the conversation focused. “And kissing each other… that seems like a thing that might lead to weirdness in the end. And awkwardness now.”

“Maybe we should practice then? Get the weirdness out of the way,” Tommy offered, nodding his head as he spoke. “Don’t need to give your mom any reason to not believe us.”

“Right,” Felicity agreed, her eyes dropping to Tommy’s lips. This was a bad idea, she knew that. Things would reach the ‘can’t go back from this’ level if she kissed him. And yet, he was right. Chances were that at some point, they were going to have to kiss. The only real question was if she wanted their first kiss to be awkward and in front of her mom, or awkward and on a plane.

She looked back up to Tommy’s eyes, nodding slowly as she did. “All right then, kiss me.”

If Tommy felt any sort of surprise by her decision, he kept his face completely neutral as he stared at her. Felicity waited for him to respond, to kiss her, to say something. But he just kept looking at her, his eyes glued to her lips, until finally he placed one hand on her shoulder, using the other to cup her face.

This was it.

Felicity looked down at her hands, trying to think of the best location for them, before deciding that it didn’t really matter. She had never had to think so much about the technicality of a kiss.

She angled her head until her lips were even with Tommy’s, closing her eyes as she waited for Tommy to kiss her. There wasn't very much space between them to begin with, but Felicity scooted forward in her seat, trying to let Tommy know that she was ready. That he could kiss her.

Only he wasn’t.

Opening her eyes, Felicity was surprised to find Tommy still just looking at her. His eyes still on her lips as he remained completely still.

She wasn’t sure what to think. She had seen Tommy kiss other girls, and she didn’t remember him just staring at them for lengthy amounts of time before doing so. He was changing his mind. That was the only reason she could think of for why he was still doing nothing more than stare.

She was ready to pull away, to laugh off the idea of them needing to practice kiss. If her mom said anything about it, she would just say that Tommy was shy. Not that Felicity really expected that Donna would believe her. Tommy had never been one to be shy about anything before.

Felicity would just have to make it work.

Because watching Tommy freeze at the idea of kissing her was more than she could handle.

Tommy ran his finger along the top of her shoulder then, pulling Felicity’s attention from his face to his hand. She smiled softly as her nerves calmed a little from the motion. It was comforting.

Tommy was her best friend. He was doing this _for_ her. And in the end, he was still going to be her best friend.

No amount of kissing was going to change that. At least, she hoped not.

“Are you,” Tommy began, pausing long enough for Felicity to look at him again.

It clicked then. The way Tommy kept looking at her, the careful way he was touching her, the nerves in his voice that Felicity almost didn’t recognize. He wasn’t acting like somebody who was having second thoughts. He was acting like someone who was nervous.

And knowing that, or at least letting herself believe it, was all she needed to gather enough courage to lean in and kiss him.

Felicity had expected Tommy to take control of the kiss from there. She had relied on it actually. If all he had been waiting on was confirmation that she was sure, her making the first move should have provided that.

And yet he remained completely still, lips unmoving against hers, his hands still against her skin.

They weren’t kissing so much as just awkwardly pressed together.

Felicity tried to correct that, thinking of what she would do if she were kissing anyone other than Tommy. Trying to remember how she would move, where she would place her hands, exactly what she did after the initial kiss. Anything to help her figure out what she was supposed to be doing.

She tried to move her lips against his again, barely resisting letting out a sigh of relief when Tommy finally began to respond.  His teeth knocked against hers as he tilted his head, causing Felicity to pull back some as she tried to avoid repeating the collision.

Only Tommy seemed to be trying to do the same thing, and no matter which way Felicity moved either their teeth or the noses met in angles that just weren’t conducive to kissing.

They had only managed to go from awkwardly holding each other with pressed lips, to awkwardly kissing each other while trying to maintain the furthest amount of distance between them.

Felicity sighed in frustration as she pulled away from Tommy.

“I’m pretty sure my first kiss went better than that,” she said without thought as soon as their lips detached, her fingers tapping against his leg.

Tommy laughed in amusement, relief washing over his features. He smiled then, brushing his finger against her cheek. “We can probably do better than that.”

Felicity nodded and returned his smile. “I hope so,” Felicity said, her tone teasing as she shook her head. “Otherwise, it’s going to be a long eight--”

A look of determination spread across Tommy’s face as he leaned in, kissing her before she finished her sentence.

Felicity froze briefly, waiting again for the fear and awkwardness to overtake them. But this time Tommy’s lips were moving against hers, sure in their movement in a way that had been missing before. Gone were the awkward thoughts of what to do when and doubts of where to place her hands.

He was simply kissing her.

Her hand moved from his leg, brushing over his chest, when she realized she was kissing him back. Kissing him in the way she had always tried to stop herself from imagining.

Felicity smiled as they continued to kiss, letting her mind go blank and enjoying the sensation of kissing Tommy without deeper thought. She slid one hand up from his chest slowly, the other already wrapping around his neck, as she tried to pull them closer together. She ran her tongue along his bottom lip, wanting more.

Tommy didn’t hesitate to open his mouth, allowing Felicity to deepen the kiss.

They slowly began exploring each other. Tommy brushed his tongue against hers, his hands sliding down the back of her shirt.

Felicity lost sense of what was going on around them. The turbulence of the plane, the sound of the other passengers, all of it faded further away from her as the kiss continued. All that she cared to be aware of was the way Tommy tasted, how his fingers felt against her skin as Tommy's hand dipped underneath her shirt.

The way she could feel Tommy’s heart continue to race underneath her fingertips.

Felicity pulled slightly back from Tommy as his fingers switched from drawing circles against her spine to hovering above the clasp of her bra, following the band until his finger was brushing against the satin material.

She gasped, inhaling sharply, her fingers clenching against Tommy's shoulder as she tried to regain her thoughts, to take back control of the situation.

But then Tommy was pulling her bottom lip through his teeth, sucking firmly, and she just didn't care.

He released her lip, and Felicity barely gave him enough time to take a short breath before she was kissing him again, with more force than she had before. She slid her hand underneath the collar of his shirt, her nails digging into his skin.

She wasn’t sure how she was going to stop kissing him now that she had started.

The plane shook heavily then, pulling them apart. Felicity’s hands squeezed reflexively against his neck, trying to not only keep him near her, but to keep her from falling out of the seat.

She looked at Tommy as the plane began to settle, her eyes wide as she took him in. Some of her lipstick had worn off, making sections of his lips red. His pupils were blown, the small amount of blue that remained dark. His breaths were coming out in short, shallow puffs, much like her own.

Felicity couldn’t think of anything to say, her mind still trying to catch up to the fact that Tommy had kissed her. He had kissed her and now he was looking at her like… like he wanted to kiss her again. Almost as if he wanted to do _more_ than kiss her.

Friends weren’t supposed to kiss. She knew that, she had it written on a list somewhere in a box in her closet. Along with twenty other reasons why Tommy was off limits romantically.

None of which seemed to be stopping her from wanting to kiss him again.

Tommy opened his mouth to say something, _anything_ , when a hand tapped against his shoulder. Felicity watched as Tommy turned around, surprised to see the man that was sitting in the aisle seat a few rows behind them standing there.

“My wife asked me that I remind you two that there are children on this plane and that maybe you should save all that for when you land,” he said kindly, clearly trying not to offend them. The man’s eyes seemed to twinkle in humor as he continued, “Or you could make a beeline for the bathroom before the captain releases the seat belt restriction. Give the mile-high club a chance, eh?”

Tommy watched as the man walked back to his seat, too surprised by his words to respond.

“Oh my god,” Felicity whispered as she let her head fall against Tommy’s neck. “Did that just… did he really say that?”

Tommy laughed, placing his finger under her chin, guiding her head up until she was looking at him. “At least we know we’ve got the realistic part down?” He offered, his smile growing as Felicity's blush darkened.

“And it uh, it wasn't so... it wasn’t awful. It was kind of nice actually,” Felicity said, hoping that saying so didn’t make things awkward again.

“I guess practice really does make perfect,” Tommy said, his voice low as his eyes dropped to her lips.

“So, we’ll just, we’ll do that if we have to kiss,” Felicity said, her voice trailing off in between words as she got distracted by Tommy closing the distance between them.

“That’s one way we can kiss,” Tommy agreed, his lips almost close enough to hers to brush against them as he spoke. “We should probably keep practicing though. Make sure it seems natural.”

Felicity nodded, her lips touching his as her head tilted up. Felicity knew what to expect now; she wasn’t surprised when he opened his mouth, or when he placed one hand low against her back, gently pushing her closer to him.

She also wasn’t surprised when just a few moments later there was a female throat clearing, reminding her again that they weren’t alone. She pulled back from Tommy, noticing that the wife of the man who had spoken with them wasn’t even bothering to hide her disdain of their actions at all.

Felicity smiled brightly at her, kissing Tommy one more time before slipping down the seat, giggling quietly as she did.

“She might hate us,” Felicity said, her voice throaty, as she continued to laugh.

Tommy smiled, shaking his head as he tried to move in his seat to a more comfortable position before responding.

“Or jealous,” Tommy said as he looked at Felicity, his face unreadable as he continued, “I would go with jealous.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We should be good to go on Tuesday updates from here on out!

Felicity took the lead as she and Tommy began walking toward the exit to baggage claim.  Though it had been a while since she had come home, she had a strong memory of the best path to take from her many trips flying back and forth to Boston during college. But even with that knowledge, there were far too many people crammed into the relatively small airport, all attempting to go to the same location.

Two more turns, two minutes at most, and Felicity would see her mom. She would be standing next to the magazine stand across from baggage claim. The same place Donna had greeted Felicity for every flight home.

Two minutes and Felicity was going to see her mom. Her mom had liked the Facebook relationship status update leaving a comment that consisted of nothing less than thirty exclamation points.

Donna had sent her a picture a few days before with a cardstock poster that had a menorah picture cut out and glued to the center, the words _Welcome home Felicity_ written across the top in bright, block letters, covered with blue and silver glitter.

Her heart sped up as her nerves grew as she imagined what kind of sign Donna could have made in the last two and a half hours.

_Welcome home Felicity. Congrats on the boyfriend._

_Welcome home Felicity. I can sleep with earplugs!_

_Welcome home Felicity. Did you miss your first flight for sex?_

The possibilities were endless, and the longer Felicity let herself imagine them, the more extravagant and horrible they became.

Tommy placed his hand on her elbow, surprising Felicity enough that she turned to look at him. He nodded toward an empty spot next to the entrance of a bathroom, already gently pushing her toward it.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, his voice concerned once they stopped walking, his hand squeezing her arm.

“Nothing,” Felicity sighed, shaking her head.

“You almost ran into three people, Felicity. Your eyes are as wide as saucers. Something’s up.” Tommy said the words straight forward, as if it weren’t a question of something being wrong with her, but that something was wrong with her, and the only knowledge he was missing was what it could be.

Sometimes, Felicity really hated well he knew her and how easy it was for him to read her.

“Okay, fine. Something is up. But it’s nothing and we need to get going. Because my mom is waiting for us. My mom--” Felicity’s voice caught as she stared at him, overwhelmed by the way his hand felt against her elbow, the fact that her mom was waiting for them to walk down the hallway. To spend a week not being Tommy and Felicity, but being _Tommy and Felicity._  

“Tommy,” Felicity croaked, pulling her arm back and wrapping it across her stomach. “What are we doing?”

“We’re going to spend Hanukkah with your mom.” Tommy tilted his head, patiently waiting for Felicity to look up at him.

“No,” Felicity argued, her eyes remaining glued on their shoes. “I know that, I mean what are--”

“Hey,” Tommy said softly, his finger pulling her chin up until she was looking at him. “Nothing else. We are spending Hanukkah with your mom. You and me. Together. End of story.”

“Tommy--”

“No, Felicity, you need to stop overthinking this.”

Felicity nodded, her eyes sliding shut as she did. “What if I’m terrible at this Tommy? At pretending… at being your girlfriend.”

“Impossible.”

“You can’t just say--”

“Just be my best friend. That’s all you have to do. I’ll worry about the rest. Okay?”

“But To--”

“Do you trust me,” Tommy asked, smiling as Felicity glared at him for interrupting her again.

“You know that I do.”

“Than trust me to handle this.” He looked behind Felicity, toward the security sign that marked the different sections of the airport. “Now, let’s go see your mom and get out of this airport.”

Felicity sighed, holding her hand out for him. “Together?”

“Together,” he confirmed with a smile as he took her hand and intertwined their fingers, leading her this time as they began to walk again.

The first thing Felicity saw after they turned the last corner before the baggage claim was the sign. Donna’s head was bent down, her fingers gliding across the screen of her phone. The sign was perfectly facing her and Tommy though as they finished walking toward her.

It was the same sign, the same menorah, the same words decorated across the top. The only change was the two words Donna had added onto the bottom:

_And Tommy!_

Felicity smiled as she imagined Donna adding it right before leaving to pick them up. Barely able to stop herself from adding another exclamation point or a smiley face, but also knowing there weren’t be enough time before she had to leave.

Tommy squeezed her hand, tilting his head to whisper to Felicity, “I got a spot on the sign? Does this mean I got the approval stamp?”

Felicity snorted, drawing the attention of her mother before she could answer.

Donna squealed then, loud and without fear. A few of the other travellers turned to look at them, staring at the blonde woman who was practically jumping up and down while screaming in the middle of an airport.

Donna was smiling though. This large, open, _happy_ smile and Felicity couldn’t bring herself to care that people were staring or that her mom was doing everything she had feared not even ten minutes before.

Because she was smiling too.

“Just look at the two of you,” Donna said after taking a breath. “I need a picture.”

Felicity laughed, tipping her head forward as she blushed. “Mom, no. I’m sure a picture can wait until we get home.”

“Oh, we’ll take pictures there too,” Donna said, blowing off Felicity refusal. “Tommy will you hold the sign?”

“Yeah, of course.” Tommy said, reaching forward to grab the sign from Donna.

Instead, he got an armful of Donna as she pulled him toward her, wrapping one arm around his waist, the other, pulling Felicity into the hug. “I am just so happy you are both here.”

Donna pulled back, her smile never leaving her face. “And together,” she paused, looking between the two them almost in disbelief. “Okay, picture now. We have all week for the details.”

She stepped back, leaving the sign with Tommy. Felicity watched as she held her phone up, squinting at the screen. “There we go,” she said, looking over her phone and to them. “Stand a little bit closer together.”

She motioned with her fingers until Felicity moved closer, releasing Tommy’s hand and wrapping her arm around his waist. Her head fell against his shoulder as Tommy placed the sign in front of them, his free hand resting against her hip.

Donna took the picture, smiling again as she looked it. “Perfect. Absolutely perfect. Sara is going to love this.”

“You talked to Sara?” Felicity asked as she stepped away from Tommy, her hand reaching for his without thought.

“She’s so excited. She must have called me once she realized you were on the plane. She had so many questions.” Donna explained, not even looking up from her phone.

Felicity didn’t need to see her screen to know she was already working on uploading the image.  

“What kind of questions?” Felicity asked. She had cleared out the notifications on her phone fairly quickly after she had gotten off of the plane. But it was hard to not notice the massive amount of missed calls, voicemails, and text messages from Sara.

“I should get our bags,” Tommy mentioned, changing the subject, tipping his head toward the baggage carousel. “It should be easier now. A lot of the people have already cleared out.”

“Do you want help?” Felicity asked, turning her head to look at him. “I can definitely--”

“No, I’ve got it.” Tommy smiled, handing her the sign. “I’m sure you and your mom have a lot to talk about anyway.”

Felicity glared at him, holding on to the sign.

Tommy’s smile only grew as he leaned down, kissing her cheek before he left.

“I knew it,” Donna said as soon as Tommy was likely of hearing distance. Her arm wrapped around Felicity, pulling her closer. “I knew there was more going on between the two of you than you wanted to admit.”

“Mom--” Felicity started, the desire to deny everything Donna had said rising out of habit. Only she didn’t _have_ to deny it. In fact, it wouldn’t make sense if she did.

“You look so happy. You both do,” Donna pointed out, leaning her head on Felicity’s shoulder. “I’m not even going to be mad about the fact that you didn’t tell me when it happened.”

“We wanted to make sure--”

“Things were going to work. I know. Sara told me.”

“She did?” Felicity asked in surprise. “What all, uh, what did you guys talk about?”

Donna stood up straight, her eyes and smile bright. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Mom,” Felicity chastised, rolling her eyes. “I would like to know.”

“And I would like to know how you two got together.” Donna shrugged, a teasing smile on  her face.

“Sara didn’t tell you?” Felicity asked, her mouth opening in fake surprise as she looked at Donna. “I’m shocked.”

Donna tilted her head, eyes narrowing at Felicity’s sarcasm. “Was it a surprise? I mean, I thought it was obvious that he had feelings for you, not that you’d ever believe me. Did he ask you out? Did--”

“Mom!” Felicity cried, her eyes big as she raised her hands to her face.

Of all the things for her and Tommy not to discuss how they actually made the switch from just friends to in a relationship seemed to be a pretty large one to miss.

“We, uh,” Felicity started, her mind reeling as she tried to think of a believable story.

“I didn’t ask her out,” Tommy interrupted, as he stopped next to Felicity. “It was really just a normal night. We were watching a movie, and she, uh, Felicity was explaining to me how the entire premise of the plot wasn’t logical. She was at least five minutes into the rant when it really hit me that I didn’t want to keep pretending that I didn’t want more. That I wanted to listen to those rants with her in my arms, instead of on the other side of the couch. And so I kissed her.”

Tommy smiled softly as finished telling the story.

Beside Felicity, Donna squealed, clapping happily as she looked at Tommy. Felicity knew that Donna had started talking again, but Felicity couldn’t hear her words over the blood rushing through her head.

Felicity and Tommy had numerous movie nights over their friendship. He could have mentioned any of them and Felicity wouldn’t have thought twice. But she remembered that night. And not just because the plot of the movie they had been watching had been the most ridiculous, illogical plot Felicity could recall.  

That night had happened exactly as Tommy had described up until the kiss.

But there had been a moment during her rant where Tommy had stopped her by touching her shoulder, his fingers brushing along the exposed skin. He didn’t say anything, he just stared at her.

For a second, Felicity had thought that he was going to kiss her.

But then he had removed his hand, rewinding the movie back to where it had been before she had started complaining. Telling her to just accept movie magic so she could enjoy the rest of it.

She had wanted to him to kiss her then. And that was the moment he picked to twist and use as their new beginning.

“Felicity?” Tommy asked, pulling her back into the conversation.

“What?” She asked, confused as she looked up at him, surprised to find that he and Donna had started to walk away from where she was still standing.

“Oh, sorry,” she said as she caught up with them. “I guess I sort of zoned out there.”

“Do you want to stop for food before we go to the apartment?” Donna asked as she pointed out her car to Tommy.

“I’m fine with waiting,” Felicity said. “Unless you aren’t fine?” She asked, directing her question to Tommy.

“Are you kidding?” Tommy teased, as they arrived at her mom’s car. “I was promised latkes and sufganiyot.  I plan on holding out for that.”

Felicity shook her head as she watched Tommy load the luggage into the small car, smiling to herself as Tommy’s people-pleasing nature rose to the surface.

“Well then,” Donna started as she got into the car. “Let’s go home.”

The drive to Donna’s apartment was relatively short, given the time of day and the relative proximity to the Strip. It was also not the apartment complex that Felicity remembered.

“You moved?” Felicity asked as she got out of the car. “How did I not know that you moved?”

“It was closer to work. And what did I need three bedrooms for anyway?” Donna asked with a small shrug. “I’m going to run up and get things unlocked, start warming up the food. It’s the first one on the right, when you go up those stairs,” Donna explained, pointing toward one of the buildings. “207.”

Felicity watched as Donna walked away, hoping that Tommy had paid more attention to what apartment number it was. She was pretty sure her brain died out after Donna had mentioned the bedrooms. What did she need three bedrooms for anyway? Did that mean there were only two bedrooms in the apartment?

“You okay?” Tommy asked, resting his hand on her arm. “You look kind of terrified.”

“Two bedrooms,” Felicity answered. “I think there may only be two bedrooms.”

“And?”

“Tommy that means we have to share a bed,” Felicity said as she looked at Tommy, waiting for him to respond more vividly.

“And that’s a problem?” Tommy asked slowly, confused as he balanced the luggage on the sidewalk. “We’ve shared a bed before. It wasn’t a problem then.”

Felicity barely stopped herself from bringing up how that was _before._ Before they decided to tell all of their friends and family that there were in a relationship, before they kissed.

“I just… I guess I assumed we would be in separate rooms.”

“I could sleep on the floor?” Tommy offered tapping his fingers against his leg.

“No,” Felicity said almost immediately, shaking her head. “No you can’t. It’ll be fine. You’re right, we’ve slept in the same bed before. It’s not like anything has changed.”

“Exactly. Nothing’s changed.”

Felicity glanced at Tommy as he started walking toward the stairs, staying still for a second longer as she tried to regain control of her emotions.

Of course nothing had changed for him.

There was no reason for her to start thinking that somehow the situation was going to open his eyes to some unknown feelings. Thinking so was only going to get herself hurt in the end. More than she was already likely to.

She caught up to Tommy, walking behind him the rest of the short distance to the apartment.

“First door on your right,” Donna shouted from what Felicity assumed was the kitchen once they opened the door.

Tommy walked into the apartment first, finding the room and opening the door.

“After you,” Tommy offered, holding the door open.

Felicity gave him a tight smile, walking into the room and taking in the small space they would be sharing.

“Is your laptop on top of the other things in your bag or is it buried?” Tommy asked as he walked into the room and placed the suitcase on top of the bed.

The extremely small bed. Looking at it, Felicity wasn’t even sure how they were going to keep any distance between each other.

“What?” Felicity asked, looking from the bed to Tommy, hoping that her face wasn’t as red as it felt. “Oh, yeah, it is. Why?”

“I figured I’d use it to video call Oliver. It’s possible he called me more than Sara called you.”

“I don’t know about that. I probably should call her though. I’m a little surprised she hasn’t called my mom demanding to speak with me.”

“You probably should,” Tommy teased as he began to unzip her bag.

“Yeah,” Felicity shifted her weight as she stood by the bed, watching awkwardly as Tommy’s hands grazed across the red bra that she had been positive she had removed from the bag before she left for the airport.

“I didn’t know fake boyfriend status earned me sexy red bra,” Tommy teased, holding the bra up, while smiling at her.

Felicity glared, her face flushing as she closed her eyes. She did not need to think of how the red of her bra seemed to compliment Tommy’s skin tone. That was a thought that never needed to cross her mind again. “Just set up the computer, Tommy.”

He laughed then, carefully placing the garment back into the bag before grabbing her computer.

“I’m going to go out there,” Felicity said, nodding her head toward the sliding door to the balcony. “Let me know if mom is ready before us?”

Tommy nodded as she walked out the door, pulling out her phone to call Sara.

“What the hell is going on Felicity?” Sara asked in place of an actual greeting as she answered the call. Felicity could practically see the look of anger at being left in the dark crossing her face.

Felicity sighed, pressing the phone against her shoulder as she looked over the balcony. The sun was just beginning to set, and Felicity had almost forgotten just how beautiful sunsets could be in the desert.

“Felicity,” Sara prodded impatiently. “I am almost done booking myself a flight to Vegas, so please start talking.”

“I don’t--” Felicity paused, groaning in frustration as her eyes dropped to the ground for a moment. Her stomach dropped at the distance between where she was and the cement sidewalk. She took a few steps back toward the center of the balcony. “Sara, I don’t even know where to start.”

“Why don’t you start with the fact that your boyfriend has a wife.”

“Ex-boyfriend,” Felicity corrected, her words overlapping with Sara’s. “Let’s make sure the ex stays there. Always. Let’s not even say his name without it. Ex-Mike.”

“Felicity,” Sara warned. “What happened?”

Felicity shrugged, leaning back against the small table that was pressed against the side wall of the balcony. “I don’t know Sara. I showed up a little early to his place so we could go to the airport. You know how I get before flying. I was nervous and I just wanted to go there and get everything over with.”

“And, what?” Sara questioned after Felicity paused. “He just decided to tell you the truth about his… his other life?”

“No,” Felicity said with a small laugh. “No, that would have been better.”

Felicity closed her eyes, one hand pressed behind her on the table as she tried to think of the best way to explain what happened without getting angry or crying. Which was pointless because she was already angry.

“She answered the door,” Felicity said doing her best to keep her voice even. “Ring on her finger, apron with flour on. She had this huge smile on her face when she opened the door. She was kind of beautiful. I’m guessing she knew about me, because I got the pleasure of watching that smile transform to one of the angriest looks I have ever seen in my life.”

“Felicity,” Sara’s voice was soft as she tried to interrupt.

“She, uh, she told me that I needed to leave. That she and Mike-- Ex-Mike, they were, uh, going to start going to couple’s counseling, and that they loved each other,” Felicity paused, her voice cracking again. “God, Sara. I am so stupid.”

“You are so far from stupid, Felicity.”

“I was a _mistress_.”

“Honey, you had no idea.”

“That really… Sara, that really doesn’t make me feel any better,” Felicity sighed, shaking her head. “If anything, it just makes me feel worse. I had no idea. Who has no idea that the guy they are about to bring home to meet their mother _is married_?”

“You did nothing wrong,” Sara said softly. “And you deserve better.”

“Yeah, I do,” Felicity agreed without hesitation.

“Like Tommy better.”

Felicity grinned, snorting at Sara’s bluntness. “You know things aren’t like that between us.”

“Oh, I know you two like to pretend things aren’t like that.”

“Tommy doesn’t--Tommy doesn’t see me like that,” Felicity shrugged as she spoke, trying to not let herself get hurt by the words. “I accepted that a long time ago.”

“What, no ‘and I don’t feel anything toward him either’ excuse this time?”

“That ship might have sailed,” Felicity said slowly, wondering again how exactly she ended up in this situation.

“Did something--”

“We kissed,” Felicity answered before Sara could finish her question. “On the plane.”

“You what?” Sara practically screamed. Loud enough that Felicity had to pull the phone away from her ear.

“Practice kissed,” Felicity clarified.

“Practice kissed,” Sara deadpanned, scoffing at the idea. “You don’t practice kiss someone Felicity. You kiss them. You kissed Tommy.”

“I don’t-- can we just not talk about this?”

“Absolutely not. I am going to need every detail about this kiss. It’ll make up for you blindsiding me with your new relationship status.”

“There’s really not much to--”

“Details,” Sara commanded, her voice leaving little room for argument.

“Um, well, the first one was kind of awf--”

“The first,” Sara interrupted in a questioning manner. “You mean there has been more than one? You have kissed Tommy multiple times.”

“Sara,” Felicity whined, tipping her head down as she blushed. “Three times. We’ve kissed three times.”

“Three times? That’s a lot of practice for such a short flight.” Sara teased with a laugh.

“Do you want the details or not?” Felicity winced at the frustration in her voice.

“All of them. I want all of them. Was there tongue? Where did his hands go? Where did _your_ hands go? Where on the scale of 1 to ‘I’ve been thinking about this kiss for a lot of years so this better be awesome’ did it fall exactly?”

“Like I _was_ trying to say, the first kiss was pretty awful. We sort of just… did nothing? Lips pressed, hands at our sides; you would think neither of us had ever been kissed before.”

“Really?” Sara asked surprised. “I was not expecting that.”

“And the second kiss? Or the third?” Sara prompted when Felicity didn’t immediately continue.

“They were…” Felicity paused, chewing on her lower lip as she tried to think of an appropriate word to describe the second kiss. “Nice. They were nice.”

“Nice?” Sara deadpanned with a groan. “They were nice? That’s all you’ve got for me?”

“What do you want me to say Sara? That they were amazing? That on that stupid scale you made up, I wouldn’t even be able to place them? How about how Tommy has really soft lips? His hands actually went under my shirt and they were really warm and nice. Or that he is extremely talented with his tongue? Is that what you want? Do you want to hear about how absolutely wonderful it was to kiss him?” Felicity paused in her rant as her tone became more emotional, taking a deep breath before continuing. “How I’m not exactly sure how I’m supposed to go forward with just being his friend when kissing him was that great. That’s what you want?”

“Felicity.” Sara’s voice was much quieter than it had been; Felicity almost wasn’t able to hear her. “Do you need me to fake an emergency? Because I can. I will call your mom right now. You’ll be on the next flight home and we can just spend the week watching movies and eating ice cream. No boy talk.”

Felicity laughed, smiling at the offer. “Thank you, but it’s going to be okay. I can do this.”

“Are you--”

“But, maybe, the offer can extend to when I get home? I might, I might need it more then.”

“Of course. Consider it the permanent kind of offer.”

“You’re the best,” Felicity grinned as she spoke, feeling lighter.

“So, he’s talented with his tongue, huh?” Sara teased, changing the tone of the conversation.

Felicity groaned, her mind instantly following Sara’s suggestion and thinking of other ways he would likely be talented with his tongue. _Very_ talented.

“Don’t,” Felicity warned, laughing shyly. “I cannot let myself think about those things when I am going to be sleeping with him--” Felicity paused, her face scrunching up at her words choice. “Next to him. Not with him. Obviously, not with him.”

“Donna has you guys in the same room?” Sara asked as if Felicity’s word fumble barely phased her.

“It is such a small bed, Sara,” Felicity complained, glancing at the door to the room. “So small.”

“I have a crazy idea,” Sara announced. “Why don’t you just enjoy the next week Felicity?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I mean, you know your feelings toward Tommy have been around for much longer than the last two days. Whether you want to admit it or not,” Sara added, talking over Felicity’s protests. “And for the next week he is going to be your pretend boyfriend. So just, enjoy it. Kiss him, cuddle with him, let yourself see what it would be like.”

“That… that is a terrible idea.”

“It is a fantastic idea, like all of my ideas,” Sara defended. “What do you have to lose? Maybe you’ll realize he feels the same way.”

“Only he doesn’t.”

“You _think_ he doesn’t. There’s a difference. Unless you forgot to tell me about the time you came right out and asked him?”

Felicity shook her head, looking out at the now darkened sky. “I’ve got to go. It’s getting dark and my mom has never been one to wait to light the menorah.”

“Felicity--”

“I’ll think about it, okay?” Felicity said. “I’ll talk to you later.”

Felicity watched her screen darken as the call ended, taking another minute to compose herself before walking back into the bedroom.

“...exactly do you think is going to happen, Tommy?”

Oliver's voice was loud and clear as she slid the door shut, setting her phone face down on the nightstand. Mentally checking off the first box of her plan to pretend that the rest of the world didn't exist for at least the remainder of the night.

“Hey,” Tommy said, almost in surprise as he turned to look at her from where he was sitting on the bed. “Felicity.”

“Were you expecting someone else?” Felicity asked teasingly as she climbed onto the bed to sit behind him.

“No,” Tommy answered while shaking his head. “Who else would I be expecting?”

Felicity tried not to let herself think of all of the other people he would likely prefer to be sliding into bed with him besides her. In the end, the thought would only be painful, unnecessary, and entirely pointless.

“Hey Oliver,” Felicity greeted as she sat behind Tommy, resting her chin on top of his shoulder.

Oliver grinned, his eyes darting to Tommy's before he responded.

“Hey, Mrs. Merlyn,” Oliver finally responded, the smile on his face growing as Felicity became confused. “How's married life?”

Felicity narrowed her eyes, turning her head in an attempt to look at Tommy. Only she was too close to his face to make out anything more than how his head was tilted down and that his eyes were closed. Almost as if he was trying to avoid the entire conversation.

“Oliver,” Felicity started, looking back at the screen. “I don't know what Tommy told you--”

“He told me everything,” Oliver interrupted in such a confident way that Felicity was momentarily terrified that Tommy had told him that they had gotten married.

“Should I be expecting a niece or nephew soon?” He asked and even though Felicity could hear the teasing in his voice, she still couldn’t help the inhuman sound that escaped her as she pulled away from Tommy.

Tommy chuckled, his shoulders shaking as Felicity rested her back against the headboard. Alternating between stretching her legs all the way and curling them only confirmed her earlier fear. The bed was much too small for the two of them to sleep on without _some_ body part being in near constant contact.

“Oh twins,” Tommy answered Oliver. “Did I forget to tell you about how it's twins?”

“You have to stop,” Felicity half-shouted, leaning forward again so Oliver could see her face. “If my mom hears either of you, I’m dead. It’s going to be nonstop baby talk until we leave. Don’t do that to me. Don’t do that to _yourself_.”

Tommy nodded, his face sobering at the thought. “Fair point,” he conceded. “Besides, we’d have to do things right then. Big proposal and all.”

“Ha,” Felicity snorted, her nose crinkling as she tilted her head back against the headboard. “A Hanukkah proposal? That would just make my mom’s week.”

“Speaking of which,” Felicity continued, barely registering the odd look that passed over Tommy’s face. “We should probably go out there. I know you’re hungry, and I might fall asleep if I don’t get out of this bed.”

“Yeah,” Tommy agreed before looking back down at the screen. “I’ll talk you later man.”

“Tonight later or tomorrow?” Oliver asked, his serious tone surprising Felicity.

“When I get around to it later.”

“Tommy,” Oliver warned, confusing Felicity with the sudden switch in his behavior.

“Probably tomorrow. I’m tired too.”

“You both know it’s not even five yet, right?” Oliver said with a sigh. Felicity could hear him tapping his fingers against his desk. “Just… just think about what I said, okay?”

“Okay,” Tommy reluctantly agreed, closing the laptop.

“What was that about?” Felicity asked, tilting her head to the side as she studied Tommy.

“Nothing,” he said easily, but the way the top of his ears darkened and the small twitch against his lips let Felicity know that he was lying. “Oliver wants to talk about expanding the bar over the next year. Maybe getting a second location. Work stuff really.”

Felicity tried to keep her face blank, and not give away that she knew he was lying. Tommy didn’t lie to her. The only reason he would try to hide the real reason Oliver wanted to finish talking to him would be if it involved her.

And that wasn’t something she was sure she wanted to know anyway.

Felicity stood from the bed, holding her hand out for Tommy.

“We still okay?” she asked carefully as Tommy intertwined their fingers.

He nodded as he stood.

“Always.”


	4. Chapter 4

Tommy and Felicity walked into the living room just as Donna was finishing placing the first candle in its correct spot. The menorah itself was fairly simplistic with nine candlestick holders, four on each side of one slightly elevated in the middle for the shamash candle. The bronze color had faded in certain spots from age and use, no doubt impacted from being boxed up and moved numerous times. But it was the same menorah that they had used since Felicity was a kid. The Hanukkah candles were the same shade of blue that her grandmother had preferred.

It was comforting in a way Felicity wasn’t sure she even fully realized.

In fact, she was pretty sure if she looked close enough she would still be able to find the scratch from where she had knocked it over the first year she was allowed to really participate in the lighting.

“There you two are,” Donna said with a smile while she moved the menorah to the window. “I was starting to wonder if you were ever going to come out of the room.”

Felicity rolled her eyes at the wink Donna tossed her way, shaking her head as she just stared at her mom.

“Are you-- Mom, how many pictures of the menorah do you really need?” Felicity asked, looking down at the food that Donna had spread across the table. She grabbed one of the sufganiyot and taking a small bite.

“I mean, it's not even lit yet,” Felicity continued as she finished the remaining bite of food.

Grabbing another doughnut, Felicity held it out for Tommy, smiling as he took it from her.

“If I have to spend the rest of December looking at wrapped presents and Christmas trees,” Donna began explaining, her voice slightly irritated as she adjusted the location of the menorah. “I think everyone can handle a few of my menorah pictures.”

Donna stood back, grabbing a doughnut from the table. “Does that look centered to you?” She asked, tilting her head to the left until it almost rested on her shoulder.

“I don't think tilting your head helps determine that,” Felicity said as Tommy moved to adjust the menorah, even though Felicity was fairly positive he knew that it had been centered to begin with.

“Oh, perfect. Thank you, Tommy,” Donna smiled while she began to wave her hand that was still holding on to her phone. “Now I just need another picture of the two of you and I'll be all done.”

“Mom,” Felicity sighed, tipping her head back.

Tommy laughed as he walked behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. “Let her take the picture, Felicity,” he whispered in her ear. “Look at how happy this makes her.”

Felicity playfully glared at him, still refusing to lower her head. “You remember this four days from now when she decides to break out her stash of ugly Hanukkah sweaters. Or themed pictures.”

“I can hear you, Felicity,” Donna reminded her, lining up the picture.

“I know,” Felicity teased, dropping her head and smiling for Donna.

“Now, seriously,” Felicity continued as she leaned her back against Tommy's shoulder, her hands resting on top of his. “Phone away.”

Donna rolled her eyes, exaggerating her movements as she placed her phone on the table. “Who’s the parent here?”

Felicity shook her head, choosing not to respond to the question at all. There would be plenty of time for her and Donna to get into small arguments; moments before Donna began to kindle the Hanukkah lights wasn’t what Felicity wanted.

It apparently wasn’t what Donna wanted either as she lit the shamash and began reciting the first blessing.

Tommy tightened his arms around Felicity, leaning down to place his chin on her shoulder while Donna moved on to the second and third blessing.

Between the warmth radiating from Tommy and the peaceful feeling that always came when Donna recited the blessings Felicity had long ago memorized, Felicity was barely able to resist the urge to close her eyes and soak in the feeling of absolute comfort that was washing over her.

Donna carefully used the shamash to kindle the first Hanukkah candle after she finished the last blessing. Setting the shamash candle in its place, Donna clasped her hands over her stomach, watching the candles burn.

Tommy laughed as his stomach growled, his breath hot against Felicity’s neck as he stepped back from her, his arm loosely remaining around her waist.

“You hungry?” Felicity teased, moving away from him so she could examine the food Donna had laid out.

“Eat!” Donna exclaimed, moving toward the table. “Tonight might be the only night with this much food.”

“I was expecting pizza tomorrow anyway,” Felicity teased, bumping her elbow against Donna’s, a large smile on her face.

“Oh, I was thinking there'd be enough leftovers from tonight for at least two days,” Donna noted, tipping her head in the general direction of the food. “And then pizza. That is, if you don't want to try and wow Tommy with your cooking skills.”

Tommy laughed as he finished placing a scoop of applesauce next to the latkes on his plate. “Oh, I think we've been together long enough for that ship to have sailed.”

Felicity glared at him while she ran her fingers across the top of the three bottles of wine Donna had set out. “We could always have you cook once we run out of leftovers.”

“If that is what it takes to provide the Smoak women real food, point me me to a cook book,” Tommy said brightly, popping a small piece of cheese into his mouth.

“He cooks?” Donna asked.

“He is the only thing that stands between me having a home cooked meal every now and then and me being the constant regular at the food places on my block,” Felicity answered truthfully, taking a small drink from her glass while holding another glass out to Donna.

“Well, if he wasn't already a keeper,” Donna teased, smiling as Felicity blushed. “No drinking for me tonight. I have to start getting ready for work soon.”

“You hate overnight shifts, mom,” Felicity complained, handing the glass to Tommy instead.

“I do,” Donna agreed without argument. “But it's worth it to spend time with you two. Besides, it's only for a few of the nights. I managed to grab most of the mid-morning shifts.”

Felicity nodded, chewing on her bottom lip. “I still don't like it. People are a lot crazier--”

“It's Vegas, baby,” Donna interrupted, setting her hand over Felicity's. “It doesn't matter what time it is, people are crazy.”

Felicity raised her eyebrow, nodding. It wasn't exactly a statement that she could deny.

“Besides,” Donna continued. “You both look like exhausted. I've been half expecting at least one of you to actually fall over.”

As if on cue, Felicity yawned, raising her hand quickly to cover her mouth. “I should not be this tired,” she complained as she sat her plate down on the table.

“Well, in your defense, you have had a pretty eventful twenty-four hours,” Tommy reminded her as he reached down to eat the last doughnut on her plate.

“Oh?” Donna asked. “Did something happen yesterday? Is that why you two missed your original flight?”

Felicity turned so that she was completely facing Tommy, a look of horror passing over her face as she stared at him.

“Well, uh, I wouldn’t say anything _happened_. It was just,” Tommy started, his voice panicked as he tried not to look caught off guard by Donna’s question.

“Sex,” Felicity blurted out, her eyes slamming shut as she did, not wanting to see what was bound to be a look of absolute horror on Tommy’s face.

She turned around quickly to look at Donna, hoping that the smile on her face was more apologetic than horrified. “I thought we had enough time and apparently we didn’t. So. That’s what happened. I’m sorry. I know you had things planned for us to do last night, and it was really awful of me to miss--”

“Honey,” Donna interrupted, her smile almost too happy for Felicity’s comfort. “You never have to apologize for that.”

“Oh God,” Felicity squeaked, shaking her head. “I’m going to bed now.”

Felicity walked straight past Donna then, not waiting for either her or Tommy to say anything else.

She was halfway to the room when she fully realized what she had done. She had told her mother that she and Tommy had missed their flight because they were having sex. And then she had just left him there with Donna. Alone.

“Uh, Tommy,” Felicity said as she stopped walking, her foot tapping against the carpet as she turned around to look at him. “Are you coming? To bed,” she clarified, frustrated with her poor choice of words. “Do you want to come to bed?

“Yep,” Tommy answered, already walking toward her. “Night, Donna,” he added as he passed Felicity and walked into the room.

Tommy was standing with his back to her when she walked into the room. She took a deep breath as she finished walking in, letting the door shut behind her.

“Tommy,” she started making sure to keep her voice low. “I am so sorry. I panicked and--”

“Sex, Felicity?” Tommy asked as he turned around to look at her.

He was laughing, Felicity realized. He was standing in front of her _laughing_.

The idea of missing a flight because he was having sex with her was apparently so out there that it made Tommy laugh.

“You don’t have to laugh at me,” Felicity said trying to sound more angry than hurt as she turned her focus on the suitcases still on the bed.

“I’m not laughing at you,” Tommy pointed out. “I am laughing at the absurdity of this moment.”

Felicity’s hands froze against the zipper, his words stinging more than she wanted to admit.

“I didn’t know what else--”

“Do you know what she said to me once you walked away?” Tommy interrupted, his voice still slightly high pitched from laughing.

Tugging against the zipper of the suitcase, Felicity shook her head.

“That because of her work schedule, she’ll be sleeping with _earplugs_. And then she winked at me. Felicity. Your mom winked at me.”

Felicity closed her eyes, a small laugh escaping her as she looked over at him. “Please tell me you are kidding?”

Tommy didn’t answer. Instead, he simply looked at Felicity until she was blushing again, because of course Donna would say something like that to him.

Felicity pulled out the first pair of pajamas that she found. “I’m just going to go change and try to forget everything that has happened in the last fifteen minutes.”

“You sure you don’t want to test out those earplugs first, because I would be--”

“Stop it,” Felicity half-shouted, her tone sharper than she meant. “I can’t… we can’t… I just need to go change.”

Felicity dug her fingers into the material in her hands, twisting at the shirt. “Only I can’t go change,” she said out loud as she realized how strange it would look to Donna if Felicity walked into the bathroom with her pajamas. Because why wouldn’t she change in front of Tommy?

Her boyfriend.

The boyfriend she was so busy having sex with that she missed her flight.

“Why not?” Tommy asked. “The bathroom is just--”

Felicity watched as he came to the same realization as she had.

“Right,” Tommy said slowly, opening his own suitcase to pull out sweatpants.

Nothing else, Felicity realized. He was going to sleep next to her in that ridiculously small bed wearing nothing more than that.

“We’ll just change in here,” Tommy said as he finished closing his bag, picking it up and placing it in front of the closet. “No big deal.”

“Right,” Felicity agreed, her grip tightening on her clothing. “No big deal at all.”

“I’ll just turn this way,” Tommy started, pointing to the wall behind him. “And you face that way… and we’ll change.”

“Yeah,” Felicity agreed, not moving. “No peeking.”

“Obviously,” Tommy agreed. “I think we can both be adults about this.”

Felicity nodded as she waited for Tommy to turn around.

Tommy returned the nod, unmoving as he continued to look at her.

“Are you,” Felicity started, pointing in his direction. “Are you going to turn around first? Or should I? I mean, I could. I don’t know why I’m not doing that. I should stop talking and just turn around.”

“I’ll turn around,” Tommy offered. “I am the obvious choice between the two of us for who is more likely to peek anyway.”

Without any more fanfare, Tommy turned, wasting no time as he began to unbutton his shirt.

Felicity stood still, her eyes glued to his back as he let the shirt fall to the floor. Biting on her bottom lip, Felicity continued to watch, fascinated by the way his shoulders moved as he started to unbutton his pants.

She should turn around. Take off her own clothes.

She was the one that had mentioned not peeking.

And yet, she didn’t want to look away.

She closed her eyes just as Tommy’s hands began to tug down on his pants, keeping them shut until she had turned herself away from him.

The situation was getting to be ridiculous. It wasn’t like she had never seen Tommy without a shirt on before. There was no reason for her to be staring at his back while he thought she had turned away.

Only, it wasn’t as if he had given her a lot of time to turn around before he had started to undress. Maybe he had wanted her to see him.

Felicity shook her head, pushing the thought away from her mind as she pulled her shirt off. She had already unclasped two of the three clasps to her bra when she froze.

If she took her bra off, there was a good possibility that at some point during the night, Tommy would know. He would know because he would accidentally brush against her and would be able to feel that she wasn’t wearing one. Or because her mother kept the apartment at a ridiculous cool temperature and her tank top was thin.

Either way, it wasn’t a situation she necessarily wanted to be in.

She worked on clasping the bra again, trying to ignore the way her body seemed to protest her actions.

Sleeping in a bra had to be less uncomfortable than waking up and finding that Tommy’s hands had gone wandering in his sleep.

“Are you almost done?” Tommy asked.

“Yeah,” Felicity lied, deciding that it would be faster to unclasp her bra anyway. “I just had some… difficulty with my bra.”

Felicity cringed after finishing her sentence, pulling her tank top on, and removing her pants.  She waited for Tommy to make some remark about how he could help with that, and tried not to be hurt when he didn’t.

She finished tying the string to her pajama pants, turning around to face Tommy.

Her breath caught at the sight of him. He was still facing the other direction, and her earlier realization that he was going to be sleeping shirtless remained true.

But she hadn’t realized how snug the pants were going to be on him,  the material clinging to his thighs. The thin material stretched to the point that Felicity was almost positive that if she tried hard enough she would be able to see through it.

Not that she was going to.

“You can turn around now,” she said.

“Those are the most… not you pajamas I have ever seen,” Tommy noted as he turned around and looked at her.

“What?” Felicity asked as she looked down at her outfit. He had a point. The pink tanktop and black yoga pants were far more generic than her usual style.

“Mike,” she offered as an explanation. “I got the feeling he didn’t really care for my more, uh, out there ones.”

“We’ll just have to go shopping tomorrow,” Tommy teased, walking over to the nightstand to turn on the lamp. “Find you some new ones.”

“What do you want to do tomorrow?” she asked as she walked over to the door to turn off the main light to the room.

She turned around and watched as Tommy lifted the blanket up, climbing in and setting the blanket back down.

The bed was entirely too small for the two of them. Without even trying Tommy was taking up more than half of the space.

“Isn’t your ban from Bellagio up?” Tommy asked as Felicity laid on the bed, as close to the edge as possible.

“I’m pretty sure after our last run at blackjack, my temporary ban became a permanent one.”

“So, no gambling,” Tommy teased. “What else is there to do in Vegas?”

“Strip clubs?” Felicity said absentmindedly. “Not that we should go to them together. Or at all. I’m just saying, we don’t have to spend our days together if you don’t want to. I’m banned, not you. You can gamble to your heart’s content.”

“But without you, my chances of losing increase significantly,” Tommy reminded her with a shrug. “Besides, what’s the point of a spur of the moment vacation with your best friend, if you don’t spend time with your best friend?”

“Spur of the moment vacation with your best friend? Is that what we are calling this?”

“You have a different title for this adventure?”

“No,” Felicity admitted. “I guess yours wins by default.”

“You know that I don’t bite, right?” Tommy asked after a few minutes of silence.

“Yes?” Felicity said slowly, looking over at him in confusion. “Why--”

“You’re going to fall off the bed if you keep scooting away from me,” Tommy pointed out, using his hand to motion to the distance in between them.

“I just… didn’t want to invade your personal space,” Felicity explained, dropping her eyes to his hands.

“Since when have you ever cared about invading my personal space, Felicity?”

“Since--”

“Since never,” Tommy interrupted. “We’ve shared a bed before. A bigger bed, sure. But that doesn’t matter. Will you please just come over here?”

\---

To Tommy’s relief, Felicity listened, moving closer to him and closing some of the distance between them.

She was still too close to the edge though; he could see where she was moving the blanket with her feet dangling over the edge of the mattress.

Tommy considered not bringing it up again, to let Felicity set the distance between them. But he missed her. He missed the ease that their friendship usually fell into, the way it had always seemed to avoid these awkward moments of being too close, of being too much.

One of his biggest fears was that by the end of the trip he would manage to ruin that comfort. Felicity would become so aware of how he felt about her that she wouldn’t be able to relax around him, or do anything remotely affectionate without worrying about sending the wrong message.

He didn’t want that to happen, and he wasn’t planning on letting it get to that point without a fight.

He stretched his arm out, letting his hand hover over the outline of her legs before moving up to her back. His fingers brushed against the fabric of her tanktop as he ran his fingers up from the base of her spine to her neck. He paused momentarily, his eyes losing focus as he realized that the tanktop was smooth across her back. There was no lump where her bra band should be because she wasn’t wearing a bra.  

He pulled his hand back almost on instinct, his fingers barely remained close enough to brush against the soft fabric. The shirt was thin. Thin enough that he had to actively keep his eyes from dropping lower, to see _exactly_ how thin it was and what it would show him.

A battle he was losing before he gave in and shut his eyes, inhaling sharply while trying to regain control of his thoughts.

How was he supposed to make her feel comfortable about sleeping next to him if he couldn’t stop thinking about how her shirt was clinging to her? Why did it matter anyway?

Sleeping next to her would be nothing compared to kissing her. He already knew how her skin felt hot underneath his hands, how it felt for her sigh into his mouth.

Having her lie next to him, bra or no bra, couldn’t affect him more than knowing how that felt.

They had shared a bed before with no issues. They could do it again. Even if it was the first time he had spent longer than five seconds trying to decide where it would be safe to place his hands.

Nothing had changed.

He just needed to keep reminding himself of that.

Placing his hand against her back again, he pressed forward, his eyes seeking hers out as he silently asked her to move closer.

He watched carefully as Felicity looked up from the space between them, waiting for some kind of emotion to cross her face. However, her face remained calm, composed in a way he wasn’t expecting.

Reading Felicity’s body language and knowing what she was feeling simply by looking at her, had been a skill he had been certain of before. But now as she did nothing more than look at him, he wasn’t sure what she was thinking or feeling.

He only knew that whatever it was, she didn’t want him to know.

He was about to pull his hand back, another offer to find somewhere else for him to sleep on his lips when she finally moved. Her legs brushed against his as she moved forward, the space between them soon covered by her body. She hesitated as she went to lower her hand, her eyes flickering between his arm and his stomach.

He hated it. Hated that it seemed like she was thinking about where it would be the most appropriate to touch him.

Tommy didn’t want Felicity six inches away from him and he didn’t want her an inch away from him. He wanted her to _want_ to be next to him. He also didn’t want her lying closer to him than she was comfortable with because he was being an asshole.

He rolled onto his back at the thought, his fingers brushing over the side of her stomach as he pulled his hand back before sliding it under his head.

Felicity shook her head then, sighing in an exaggerated fashion as she looked at him.

“You are so needy,” she teased, closing the space between them entirely.

There was no hesitation this time as she wrapped her arm around his stomach, placing her head on his chest.

“Me? Needy?” He asked, smiling. “I thought I was doing you a favor, I have it on pretty good authority that my chest makes an _excellent_ pillow.”

“A little firmer than I would normally prefer--” Felicity said, her lips pursing as she stopped her sentence, her face turning red.

Tommy laughed, lowering his hand to her shoulder, his fingers brushing through her hair as he pushed the ends back from his chest. “A little? Your pillows are overly soft. I don’t know how you find them comfortable.”

“That's because you think cement blocks make good pillows,” Felicity said, her words drifting in and out as she spoke slower, her breathing beginning to even out.

Tommy watched while he continued to rub the ends of her hair in between his fingers as her eyes finally shut. She wasn’t fully asleep. He could tell by the rhythmic way she was continuing to draw small circles with her index finger against the side of his stomach.

The sensation was almost intoxicating. His nerves on edge with just the faintest touch.

“Good night, Tommy,” Felicity whispered, her breath ghosting across his skin as her hands stilled.

Tommy nodded to himself, smiling slightly as he let her hair drop from his fingers before responding.

“Good night, Felicity.”

 


	5. Chapter 5

Felicity didn't want to wake up. It was the only clear thought she had as she began to gain consciousness. She pushed her head deeper into her pillow as she tried to stay asleep.

Refusing to open her eyes, Felicity stretched against Tommy’s body behind her, pressing back into his warmth with a sigh. Her legs were tangled with Tommy’s, one of his hands was above her head, loosely holding on to hers, and the other was resting flat against her stomach.

It was nice having Tommy wrapped around her. They had moved plenty of times throughout the night, but their bodies continued to bend and connect to accommodate each other.

Tommy shifted, his body sliding lower on the bed as his hand moved up from her lower stomach to her ribcage.

Felicity blinked her eyes open as she fully realized their position. Her muscles tensed for a moment while she began to turn her head to confirm that Tommy was still sleeping. Tommy’s fingers brushed against her stomach then, lightly stroking her skin as he hummed against her shoulder blade. His lips ghosted across the exposed bone in his movement and she completely froze.

She had to get out of bed.

She knew she had to get out of bed. Untangle her limbs from Tommy’s and work on a plan for how she was going to survive another week of waking up like this. Of falling asleep next to him. Of being with him. A plan for how she wouldn’t end up back in Starling with a broken heart because she had allowed herself to get lost in the show.

By now her feelings for Tommy had to be obvious to him. The same way his strictly platonic feelings had become obvious to her.

Only she couldn’t help but notice as she had stretched against him that the thin pants he wore to bed did nothing to hide his body’s interest.

He could be dreaming of anyone, thinking of anyone, she knew that. But it was her body he was holding. Her shirt his hand was under and her back he was almost kissing.

She didn’t want his dreams to be about anyone else. She didn’t want to think about him imagining someone else while holding her. She wanted to believe that maybe Tommy wasn’t as disinterested in her as she believed.

Maybe she was reading him wrong. The changes she had noted, lying to her about Oliver’s phone call, not joining in on her inappropriate word bumbles, _could_ be because he was trying to hide his own feelings for her. It was possible that she was so distracted by the rekindling of her feelings for him, that she was missing his signs.

But that was a dangerous path to go down. One Felicity knew she needed to avoid to keep her sanity intact.

Which was why she had to get out of bed.

She started by pulling down the hand above her head that he had been holding, wiggling in his arms until his grip loosened enough for her to roll over. She used one arm to hold her head up, the other attempting to move Tommy’s hand from her stomach and to his side. She wasn’t quite successful as he moved his hand instead to her back, pulling her closer to him again.

Felicity laughed lowly, shaking her head as she looked at him.

A bad idea, as it turned out. Felicity could have gone her entire life without seeing how peaceful Tommy looked sleeping beside her with their legs still tangled and his hand pressed against her back.

She could have gone even longer not knowing how her body would react to the sight.

She barely noticed the pressure on her back from Tommy’s hand increasing or the way he adjusted beside her, focusing instead on trying to get her emotions back in balance and under control. She did, however, notice Tommy’s free hand brushing against her face.

The movement pulled her attention fully back to the moment. Giving her just enough time to realize that Tommy had rolled over onto his side, his eyes still closed, his face much closer than it had been before and--

He was kissing her.

Felicity didn’t allow herself to think as she responded. She brought her free hand up to his face, running her finger down his jawline as she moved her lips against his.

Kissing him felt familiar in a way that Felicity refused to let herself think about for too long. It was an easy enough thought to stop as Tommy’s hand moved from the center of her back, his fingers pressing into her skin as they travelled up her spine.

She needed to stop kissing him. He was likely still asleep and she knew that. It was wrong to keep kissing him.

But the longer the kiss went on, the more she _wanted_ to kiss him. The harder it became to deny that she didn’t want to stop.

“Felicity,” Tommy whispered as he pulled back, breaking the kiss.

Felicity froze, her eyes shut, because his voice was too clear, too concise for Tommy to still be asleep. Or even for him to have _just_ woken up.

But that would mean he hadn’t been asleep. That he had made the choice to kiss her.

She opened her eyes slowly, carefully controlling her breathing as she looked at Tommy. His eyes were open, his chest rising and falling quickly. She had expected him to be looking at her, or for him to be moving away from her.

She hadn’t expected him to be moving closer to her, or for his gaze to never really leave her lips.

He was awake and, as far as Felicity could tell, still wanted to kiss her.

She closed the distance between them as she closed her eyes, pushing down all of the reasons for why she _shouldn't_ kiss him.

Because she wanted to and he seemed to want to kiss her. At that moment, Felicity couldn't think of any reason why that wasn't good enough.

She could deal with the consequences later.

Thankfully, Tommy didn't hesitate in kissing her back, giving her no time to second guess her action. His teeth nipped against her bottom lip as he rolled them over, deepening the kiss. He placed one hand flat against the bed next to her, holding his body just off of her’s.

Which wasn't going to do at all.

Felicity wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling down until he gave in and lowered his body. Moaning at the contact, Felicity smiled as Tommy broke the kiss, not hesitating to move his lips down to trail kisses across her neck.

Felicity flexed her fingers in Tommy’s hair, holding his head down as he switched from kissing her neck to sucking on the flesh covering her collarbone.

“Tommy,” Felicity groaned, lifting her hips to meet his.

The moment ended as Tommy pulled back, looking down at Felicity with wide eyes.

His skin was flushed, his chest almost heaving as he worked to catch his breath again.

“What are we doing Felicity?” He asked after a moment.

Felicity didn't answer right away, choosing instead to lower her legs from his waist. It didn't change the fact that Tommy was still pressed against her, too close now that her brain was fully slipping into panic mode from Tommy's question.

What were they doing?

Felicity had no idea. All she knew was that she wanted to go back to doing it, to not thinking about every single movement she made around him.

Tommy moved, awkwardly trying to avoid touching her as he pulled away.

“Felicity?” He said, his voice low as he looked down at her before he began to repeat his earlier question, “What are--”

“I don't--” Felicity started, chewing on her lip as she avoiding looking at Tommy. She shook her head, pushing the ‘I don't know’ excuse from her mind. She knew what they were _doing_ , she just didn't know why they were doing it.

“We’re kissing,” she answered after another moment, her eyes fixed on the blanket that had been shoved toward the end of the bed. The blanket that had tiny lines that divided the fabric into small squares.

She had counted seventeen by the time Tommy spoke again.

“We don't normally kiss each other.”

“No,” Felicity agreed, tearing her eyes from the blanket to meet his, barely able to stop herself from sighing in relief when she looked at him.

He didn't look like someone who was disgusted or angry about the sudden increase in time spent kissing his best friend. If anything, he looked just as confused as she felt.

She could handle a confused Tommy.

“We normally don't, do we?” Felicity continued, tilting her head quickly to the side with a laugh.

“We should probably talk about this?” Tommy hesitantly asked, reaching out to run a finger over the top of her hand.

Felicity nodded, her eyes falling to his finger, following his movements for a few seconds before responding.

“Probably,” she said with a nod before giving a small shrug. She looked up from their hands, meeting his eyes.

This was not a conversation she was ready for. Not when she couldn't stop thinking about the way he knew just where her skin was the most sensitive, or the way his pants really did nothing to stop her from realizing how much he was enjoying the sounds that knowledge got him.

Her brain still felt like it was misfiring as he looked at her. She couldn't handle a conversation about why they were suddenly kissing each other or cuddling each other as they slept.

The only answer she could think of was because she had real feelings for him. And confessing those feelings wasn't on her plan for the trip.

She needed to stick to the plan. She needed to _finish_ coming up with the plan.

She needed to get out of bed.

“Later?” she asked, pulling her hand back from his as she stood up. “I'm starving. And it's still early, you could probably go back to sleep? Or shower?”

Felicity shook her head, blushing as she looked up at the ceiling. “Not that you _need_ to shower. It's not like you smell or anything. I was just offering, which was stupid. You don't need my permission to shower and I--”

Felicity closed her eyes, praying for her mouth to stop moving and for the words to just stop.

She couldn't even leave the room without making a fool out of herself with her words. How exactly did she think she would ever be able to get through explaining to him that she had non-platonic feelings for him?

“I'm going to go make breakfast,” she finished lamely, looking back down at him.

She smiled as he nodded, finding no judgment or humor in his expression. Just an understanding that she wasn't sure she had earned.

“But we will talk later?” Tommy asked in confirmation, his eyes remaining on her as she walked backward toward the door.

“Yeah,” she said with a nod, turning the knob to the door. “We will.”

She slipped out of the room just as she finished answering him, not giving him a chance to respond before the door shut.  

Tipping her head back, Felicity took a deep breath, before heading into the kitchen.

Felicity was surprised when she walked into the room to find Donna already standing in front of one of the counters. Felicity’s favorite coffee mug was already pulled out and next to Donna’s, just waiting for her to grab it.

“You’re up early,” Felicity noted as she stood next to Donna, her hands greedily reaching for the cup. “And dressed like you’re about to go back to work?”

Donna nodded, taking a drink from her glass. “I am. One of the girls got sick. I should make it home by six or seven, which is a little late for lighting the menorah. If you two want to just go ahead and light--”

“Absolutely not,” Felicity interrupted, pursing her lips as she shook her head. “There will be no lighting of anything without you.”

Blowing against the hot liquid in her cup, Felicity took a small drink from the glass before setting it down. She pulled down two bowls from the cupboard before she began running her eyes along the sugary cereal Donna bought whenever she came to visit.

“Besides,” Felicity continued while she grabbed one of the boxes and began to pour cereal for Donna and herself, “if you aren't here to help me eat all of these leftovers, we are never going to get Tommy to cook for us. Or have our pizza night. Which might actually be one of my favorite Hanukkah traditions.”

Donna rolled her eyes as she took her bowl and sat down at the table. “I'm pretty sure pizza during Hanukkah isn't exactly the kind of tradition I planned on starting when you were a kid.”

Felicity shrugged as she sat down next to Donna. “Doesn't stop it from being one of my favorites.”

Donna gave her a big smile, her eyes watering before she looked down, focusing on her food.

They ate in silence for awhile, before Donna began to spend more time looking at Felicity than her bowl.

“Are you planning on going to the gym?” Donna asked after a few moments of silence. Her hand moved up and down quickly as Donna spoke, clearly trying to highlight her outfit.

Felicity rolled her eyes, taking another bite of cereal. “If I keep eating all of this food, I'm going to need to go.”

Donna narrowed her eyes as she continued eating, waiting patiently for Felicity to provide a truthful answer.

“I'm an adult, mom,” Felicity said as the continued look began to wear her down. “I can't exactly go to sleep every night in themed pajamas.”

“Were you not an adult last time I saw you? Because I clearly remember you wearing a pair with frogs and coffee cups.”

Felicity sighed, taking another bite of food as she tried to think of another subject to bring up.

“It’s not a big deal sweetie,” Donna said, reaching out to place her hand on Felicity’s arm. “I had just bought some for your birthday and forgot to send them, I was going to give them to you now. But if you’ve outgrown them…”

“No,” Felicity interrupted, shaking her head as she looked at Donna.

“I haven’t outgrown them,” Felicity admitted,  debating with herself over how much to tell. “I just was dating someone who didn’t care for them.”

“Tommy?” Donna asked, her eyes narrowing in confusion. “He didn’t--”

“No, no,” Felicity said quickly. “Before Tommy. Awful guy. Not really worth bringing up. Tommy loves them. Actually, he was complaining last night about my pajamas being boring. If anything he’s just going to be sad we don’t have to go shopping anymore.”

“I like him,” Donna said, lifting her cup off of the table. “I’ve always liked him.”

“I know,” Felicity responded, tapping her finger against the spoon in her bowl. “You’ve never been shy about how much you like Tommy.”

“That’s because he’s never been shy about how much he cares about you,” Donna pointed out as she stood from the table, grabbing the dishes before walking back to the kitchen.

Felicity crinkled her nose. This was not a conversation she wanted to have with Donna. Not when she was already debating with herself if she had somehow spent years missing signs about Tommy’s feelings.

Of course Donna thought Tommy liked her. Growing up, Donna had thought a lot of people had liked Felicity. And for all of Donna’s people skills that made her successful at her job, Felicity had learned early not to trust her when it came to other people’s feelings for Felicity.

Besides, Felicity didn’t need Donna’s perspective tainting her own.

Not when her mind was doing a fine job all by itself.

“Mom,” Felicity warned, her attention focused on her drink. “Can we not--”

“Are you really trying to deny that your _boyfriend_ had zero feelings for you before you two started dating?” Donna asked in disbelief, one hand tapping against the countertop as the other pressed into her hip.

Felicity sighed as she looked at Donna. “No, I’m not--” Felicity paused, biting down on her lip.

She was actually trying to deny that and Donna had a point. It didn’t make sense for her to deny that Tommy had feelings for her before if he was with her now.

She only wanted to avoid saying it because they weren't really together. But saying the words seemed to make them real in a way that scared Felicity.

“I’m not saying he did or didn’t,” Felicity continued. “I’m saying it doesn’t matter. We’re together now. That’s what matters.”

“If you say so,” Donna said, not wanting to push the conversation further.

“You’re really just looking for a chance to say I told you so,” Felicity teased as she stood up.

“I think I’ll save that for when you tell me you’re engaged.”

“Mom!” Felicity exclaimed, almost dropping her mug.

Donna laughed, her head turning as the sound of the shower starting filed the room. “I’m just saying, I may not be a genius like you baby, but I can tell that he is in love with you. It won’t be long.”

“Mom,” Felicity half whined as she sat her cup down in the sink. “Please stop.”

Donna shook her head, doing nothing to hide the fact that she had many more things to say as she grabbed her purse from the counter.

Felicity was thankful that she chose to not continue the conversation.

“I’ve got to go. I’ll see you tonight,” Donna said as she leaned forward to kiss Felicity’s cheek. “And like I said, I won’t be back for awhile. You wouldn’t have to worry about me coming back if you want to join him in the shower.”

“Mom!” Felicity yelped, her eyes wide as Donna walked away.

Felicity lowered her head, shaking it as Donna’s laughter echoed around the apartment before the front door shut. Then, the only sound was the running water from Tommy’s shower.

Felicity stood in the kitchen for a moment longer, losing the fight to not let her mind wander. For a few seconds she let herself think about joining Tommy in the shower, as if she were his girlfriend. As if anything in the last day had been real.

She shook her head, physically trying to erase the image from her mind. She needed a distraction, something to stop her mind from travelling down dangerous paths.

She needed to work.

Walking back into the bedroom, Felicity pulled her shirt off before the door was fully shut. She changed quickly, stacking her pajamas against the bottom of the nightstand next to her side of the bed.

Her side of the bed.

Felicity bit her lip, digging through her bag for her tablet, pointedly ignoring the way the words made her stomach clench in desire.

She wanted nothing more than parts of her life to be split into “Felicity's side” and “Tommy’s side.”

But that was another dangerous thought she was supposed to be avoiding. All of her thoughts seemed to be dangerous. Thoughts that she may have been able to avoid if she had just not given in. If she had worked harder on reminding herself that none of this was real, instead of allowing herself to _just enjoy it._

Just enjoy it. Sara’s advice.

Reaching down to grab her cell phone from the nightstand, Felicity stalked back into the living room. Dialing the number, Felicity was already half way through the very strongly worded conversation they were about to have as she sat down on the couch, the phone just beginning to ring.

Sara answered at the last possible second, her voice heavy with sleep as she spoke. “What’s up?”

“What’s up?” Felicity repeated, her tone mocking as she sat back against the couch cushions, bringing her up feet until they were curled next to her. “What’s up is that I spent this morning _enjoying_ myself and now Tommy wants to talk about what’s going on.”

Closing her eyes, Felicity waited until Sara was done laughing before she continued.

“It’s not funny,” Felicity whined, opening her eyes to stare at the ceiling. “You gave me the worst possible advice, and now you are laughing at me for following it.”

“I’m not laughing at you for following it. I’m laughing at you for freaking out over it,” Sara clarified. “What’d you two do this time?”

“We kissed.”

“And?” Sara asked, clearly expecting something more.

“And what?” Felicity asked in confusion. “We kissed.”

“You are calling me before ten am because you two kissed again? That’s what has you freaking out?”

Felicity scoffed at the dismissive way Sara spoke.

“You’re acting like kissing is something Tommy and I do daily, Sara, and it’s not.”

“Except for the three times you kissed yesterday,” Sara pointed out. “It sure sounds like kissing Tommy is something that’s becoming a daily thing for you.”

“Those were practice kiss--”

“Oh no, not that again,” Sara interrupted. Felicity could hear the increase of background noise as Sara put her on speaker, likely so she could get dressed. “You know where I stand on the theory of practice kissing.”

“Regardless of your feelings about our previous kisses, it doesn’t change the fact that we kissed again this morning. Only for no reason this time.”

“I think you meant just because you two wanted to.”

Felicity ran her hand along the edge of the couch, regretting calling Sara as her words sank in. It was normally a benefit to have a friend that had long ago stopped sugar coating her thoughts. But sometimes, in theory, Felicity just wanted Sara to make the right noises, to superficially agree with whatever Felicity was saying.

“And since I don’t want to listen to you try and talk your way out of that truth, I’m amending my advice,” Sara announced before Felicity could say anything else. “Enjoy yourself, Felicity.”

Felicity sighed, rolling her eyes. “That’s the exact same advice that got me into this mess Sara.”

“Enjoy yourself and stop overthinking everything. That’s my amendment. I didn’t think it was a necessary specification the first time.”

“I have to stop asking for your advice,” Felicity said, snorting slightly before continuing. “What am I supposed to say when he starts trying to figure out what’s going on?”

“Well, you could try the truth.”

“The truth?” Felicity asked. “And just what, try to explain how maybe I might have been in denial about my feelings for him for a few years? Yeah. That’s going to go over _real_ well.”

“If you don’t try, you’ll never know.”

“Do you get all of your life advice from fortune cookies?” Felicity snapped, lowering her head as she let the silence in the apartment sink in.

Silence.

Tommy wasn’t in the shower anymore.

“Crap,” Felicity muttered under her breath, leaning over the side of the couch to see if the door to the bathroom was still shut. It was, and she could see a small amount of light at the bottom of the door. He hadn’t left the bathroom yet.

“Tommy’s done showering,” Felicity said, answering Sara’s repeated questioning of what was going on, as she moved back to sit on the couch. “Do you think he heard what I said?”

“Felicity,” Sara complained. “What was my advice to you?”

“Enjoy myself. Stop overthinking everything,” Felicity repeated mindlessly.

“And what are you doing right now?” Sara teased.

“Overthinking,” Felicity responded, sighing as she looked back down the hallway. “Okay, I’m getting off the phone now.”

Felicity sighed as she hung up, tossing the phone on the other side of the couch before picking up her tablet and pulling up her work email. She kept her eyes glued to the screen, barely registering the emails she was reading as she listened to Tommy’s movements.

She gave up entirely pretending that she was still reading emails when she heard the bathroom door open. Her eyes burned as she stared at the screen, refusing to blink or for her eyes to waver as she waited for Tommy to move.

Felicity listened as Tommy walked the short distance from the bathroom to their room, the door shutting quietly behind him.

_Their room_.

She really needed to start actually working.

By the time Tommy walked into the living room, Felicity had managed to successfully lose herself in work. Not even glancing up as Tommy sat down, Felicity focused on the problem in front of her. She had just begun typing out her preliminary answer when Tommy tugged at the tablet, removing it from her hands as she released the device.

Tommy placed the tablet on the table in front of them before sitting down. Even though he sat on the same couch that she was sitting on, Felicity noted that he was sitting as far away from her as he could.

Her stomach twisted in guilt as she took in the space between them, watching as Tommy tried to shift further back. The armrest of the couch blocked him in, keeping him closer to Felicity than he had desired.

Was this how he felt the night before when she was laying on the edge of the bed?

She waited for him to start the conversation. To take the lead, because she had no idea where to start.

A drop of water fell from his hair just above the base of his neck. Felicity watched the droplet travel down his skin before it reached the hem of the white shirt he was wearing, soaking into the fabric.

“This is ridiculous,” Felicity blurted, shaking her head as she watched another droplet follow the same path as the previous one, breaking the silence.

Tommy looked at her, his eyes amused as he gave her a small smile.

Felicity moved over on the couch, turning her body to face him. She let her legs press against his, her hands sitting folded in her lap.

“What's with all of the distance?” Felicity asked, her eyes remaining on Tommy's. “I don't know if I've ever been so aware of the amount of space around us before.”

Tommy laughed, his eyes closing for a moment. “Me either,” he agreed, looking at her again. “I don't like it. I don't like how one of us is always second guessing an action. That's not--”

“Us?” Felicity offered, nodding in agreement. “I know. I don't like it either.”

They fell into another moment of silence. Felicity still unsure of what she was supposed to say next. If she should wait for Tommy to say something.

_Stop overthinking it._

Sara’s advice repeated in her head. That's what they were doing. Overthinking every movement and moment until they weren't being so much as planning.

Maybe taking Sara’s advice wouldn't be the worst next step.

“I need you to know how important our friendship is to me, Felicity,” Tommy said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Felicity reached forward, grabbing onto his hand. “I've never doubted it,” she admitted. “I know what our friendship means to me. I've never questioned it being just as important to you.”

Tommy smiled in relief, exhaling deeply. “Good. This, us pretending to be an… _us._ It's more complicated than I thought it was going to be and I can't… I don't want to lose you.”

Felicity shook her head vehemently, raising their hands until they rested against Tommy's chest. “Absolutely not even a possibility,” Felicity promised, pausing for a second to take in how fast Tommy's heart was pounding under her fingers. “It's confusing for me too. The touching and the kissing. It's… a lot? But it also doesn't matter. So what if we kiss? That doesn't have to change anything.”

“Doesn't it change things though?” Tommy asked, his tone purposefully void of any emotion that would give Felicity an indication of what answer he wanted.

_Yes_. Felicity answered in her head, her eyes sliding shut as she tried to figure out what to say to him.

“No,” she said after a moment. “And yes? It changes some things, but it doesn't have to change the foundation… our friendship. We can protect that.”

“You really think so?” he asked.

“I have to,” Felicity answered simply. “Because as great as kissing you is--” Felicity paused, blushing as Tommy smirked at her. “Continuing to do so isn't worth losing you over, if you don't think we'll be okay when we leave.”

Felicity waited patiently for Tommy to answer, careful to not make any sound or movement that would pressure him.

“We'll be okay,” Tommy agreed, a dangerous smile spreading across his face as he leaned closer to her. “Does that mean I get to keep kissing you while we're here?”

Felicity smiled, nodding slowly as Tommy closed the space between them.

They were going to be okay.

Felicity had no idea how, but figuring it out sounded a lot like overthinking as Tommy pulled her onto his lap.

She had time to figure it out later. Much later. When she got around to finalizing the plan of how to not get her heart broken by the end of Hanukkah.


	6. Chapter 6

Felicity had thought Tommy was kidding when he suggested they still spend their day shopping and pretending to be normal Vegas tourists. Yet, there they were, standing in the middle of an overcrowded store in Caesars Palace, her purse filled with cheesy flyers and brochures for activities that Tommy kept grabbing whenever he saw them.

Tommy had a list of events that he deemed Vegas Essentials for them to do, which mainly consisted of over the top cheesy shows that Felicity had spent the majority of her childhood avoiding.

The first to get scratched off the list permanently was the roller coaster on top of the Stratosphere. No amount of Tommy swearing that it was perfectly safe was going to convince Felicity. Instead, Felicity agreed to Tommy’s plan of taking pictures for Donna.

Which so far contained images of Felicity participating in a dolphin yoga session at the Mirage, Tommy feeding a sea turtle, and numerous ones of them standing in front of the many statues in Caesars Palace.

If Tommy hadn’t already completely won over Donna, the slideshow he was planning on presenting after dinner would do the trick.

“What about these?” Tommy asked from behind Felicity, interrupting her thoughts.

Felicity turned around to look at what was undoubtedly going to be another ridiculous pajama set Tommy had found.

He was holding two different sets in front of his body; one had large pictures of french fries covering the shorts, the words ‘fries before guys’ in bright red across the chest of the shirt. The second pair were much more calm, grey pants decorated with lip prints in different shades of red and pink, the shirt had the words ‘kiss me’ printed in cursive over a large heart.

Felicity shook her head as she let her hand fall from the shirt she had been looking at while she stepped forward to kiss Tommy. After all, it would be rude to ignore the advice of pajamas.

Tommy smiled against her lips, his nose brushing against hers as he pulled away before placing the fry pajamas back on one of the racks.

“I was hoping you would pick this pair.”

“Oh no,” Felicity started, grabbing the pajama set from him. “I think I have enough new pajamas already.”

She shook the three bags on her arm to prove her point. “I don’t need any more,” she continued as she hung the set up.

“Fine,” Tommy said, shrugging his shoulders. “But how will I know to kiss you if your pajamas don’t direct me to?”

Felicity rolled her eyes, patting his shoulder in mock sympathy. “I guess you won’t. Oh well,” she teased turning back around to continue digging through the shirts behind her. “I guess that’s the end of us kissing.”

Tommy growled, wrapping his arms around Felicity’s waist, pulling her closer to him until he could lean down to place kisses along her neck.

Smiling, Felicity stretched her neck to the side, granting him better access. She tried to focus on the articles of clothing in front of her, pretending that Tommy wasn’t affecting her at all as she continued her search. But then Tommy’s teeth scraped against a particularly sensitive patch of skin and she lost her ability to think of anything but how good it felt.

The unmistakable sound of disruptive coughing surprised her, even though it was nowhere near the first time they had been interrupted by it that day. She looked up to find the woman who had greeted them into the store staring at them in disdain. She raised an eyebrow at them as she pointed toward the exit of the store.

Felicity pushed her hand against Tommy’s stomach as she felt him grin against her neck. He didn’t even bother to pretend to be ashamed of the situation as Felicity grabbed his hand, pulling him out of the store.

“You have to stop doing that,” Felicity whined as they started walking away from the store. “I do not want to add _the mall_ portion of Caesars Palace to the list of places I am banned from.”

“Me?” Tommy asked, feigning innocence. “I’m pretty sure you were the one who got us kicked out of the last two stores.”

Felicity crinkled her nose, laughing as they moved aimlessly around the mall. “Really? Because I’m pretty sure it was _your_ _hand_ disappearing under my shirt that got us kicked out.”

Tommy smirked, placing his hand on her hip as he stopped walking. “But you were the one who dared me to do it.”

Felicity smiled, her eyes bright. “I was just testing Oliver's statement of you not being able to turn down a dare. Purely scientific.”

“Science, huh?” Tommy asked, his thumb brushing across the strip of exposed skin between her shirt and jeans. “I don't remember learning this in science class.”

“Clearly you didn't attend enough biology classes,” Felicity teased, her eyes fluttering as Tommy increased the pressure of his grip, lowering his head until his lips were almost touching hers.

“I always was a much more… hands on learner,” Tommy whispered, pressing his lips down.

Felicity sighed, opening her mouth as she wrapped her free arm around his neck, her fingers grasping the fabric of his shirt.

A part of her was aware that they were standing in the middle of of a walkway in a mall and that they really needed to stop acting like horny teenagers. But that part of her failed to come up with a reason for why they should stop kissing.

Especially when Tommy let his hands wander under her shirt again, his fingers flexing along the side of her stomach.

Felicity's eyes narrowed as Tommy’s hand moved up, tracing along the band of her bra. Felicity pushed her chest forward, smirking as Tommy's breath caught from the movement, his fingers barely faltering before--

“You two again?” a man asked in amusement from behind Felicity, two fingers tapping against her shoulder as she pulled away from Tommy.

Felicity blushed as she looked at one of the mall’s security guards. The same one, she realized, that had escorted them from the first store that they had been removed from.

“You know Caesars Palace has some mighty fine hotel rooms you could book.”

The man laughed, and even though Felicity could tell that he was teasing them in good nature, she couldn't help the flash of absolute embarrassment that passed over her at his words.

“Why don't you fix your shirt miss,” he continued, nodding his head down to Felicity’s exposed stomach. “And then I'm going to have to escort the two of you out of here.”

Felicity bit down her lip, using her hands to push down her shirt. “You don't, uh, really need to show us out,” Felicity said as she pushed Tommy's hands away from her waist, glaring as he tried again to help her fix her shirt. “We were done shopping anyway. Already on our way out.”

The security guard nodded, pointing toward the large doors behind Tommy and Felicity. “I suggest that door. It's the closest.”

Felicity gave him a tight smile as she grabbed onto Tommy's hand, walking toward the door.

The sun warmed her skin almost immediately as they walked outside, immersing themselves to the loud atmosphere of the Vegas Strip. She looked at Tommy shaking her head as he smiled at her.

“Well, go ahead and scratch ‘get Felicity permanently banned from her favorite mall’ off your list.”

Tommy scoffed, rolling her eyes. “I'd hardly call _that_ a permanent ban. We could probably go to the other side of the mall and be fine.”

“Oh yeah? You've learned to keep your hands to yourself in the last five minutes?” Felicity asked, dragging her finger across his chest. “Because I'm not sure I have.”

Tommy's eyes darkened at Felicity's words, her heart racing as he kissed her again.

They had to stop doing this. Especially in public.

“What's next on that list of yours,” Felicity asked, kissing the side of his mouth before taking a step back. “Picture with the Harrah girls?  Mandatory slightly out of focus selfie in front of the Bellagio fountain?”

“Nope,” Tommy said, holding his hand out to hail a cab. “Grocery store.”

“Grocery store?” Felicity asked, confused by his answer. “I don't think many tourists care to see the inside of a Vegas supermarket, Tommy.”

Tommy laughed as a cab came to stop in front of them, holding the door open for Felicity to climb in before answering. “No, but good fake boyfriends who are planning on making dinner for the second night of Hanukkah do.”

\----

Felicity leaned against the entryway to the kitchen, her eyes following Tommy as he moved around the kitchen. In the twenty minutes he had spent rummaging around the cabinets and drawers for the supplies that he needed, he now appeared to know the layout and storage of the space better than Felicity.

It was obvious that he was making some kind of soup. The biggest pot he could find had been filled with water, spices, and broth mix before being placed on the stove. He was currently cutting up chicken, his back turned to her.

The muscles in his back moved prominently underneath his shirt. Watching him prepare dinner was captivating.

“You planning on staring at me for the next hour, or are you going to help?” Tommy asked, turning his head to look over his shoulder at her.

“Watching you seems more beneficial,” Felicity teased with a small shrug, wrapping her arms around her stomach.

Tommy laughed, turning back to focus on finishing cutting the meat. “Get over here. You can help peel the carrots.”

“Carrot peeling?” she repeated as she moved to stand next to him. “That sounds like a big job. Are you sure you’re willing to take the increased risk of food poisoning by involving me?”

“I trust you,” Tommy said, kissing her forehead as he laid the knife he had been using on the counter, grabbing the cutting board and moving back to the stove.

Felicity stood still for a moment, her heart hammering in her chest at his actions. Sure, she knew Tommy trusted her. But hearing him say it so freely while kissing her so casually…

It was different.

Everything felt different to her. Words that he had said a million times before seemed to have much more power and depth.

It was disconcerting really. How was she supposed to keep boundaries between them when everything inside of her was screaming not to?

“The vegetable peeler is in the second drawer from the bottom on the right side of the sink,” Tommy added, nodding in the general direction he referenced.

Felicity followed Tommy’s instructions, thankful for the distraction from her thoughts as she dug around the drawer until she found the utensil.

They worked in silence after that, Tommy seasoning the meat while Felicity peeled the vegetables.

“So, why soup?” Felicity asked, placing another peeled carrot on the cutting board.

“Why not soup?”

Felicity shrugged, finishing peeling the last carrot before setting the tool down. “I guess soup and Nevada desert don’t necessarily go together in my head.”

“I figured it would go with the leftover latkes,” Tommy answered, surprising Felicity by standing behind her. “Which it does.”

“You have a lot of experience with soup and leftover latkes?” Felicity questioned as she turned around to look at him. He was standing closer than she she expected, her shoulder brushed against his shirt as she turned.

“I might have been snacking on latkes and the broth over there,” he admitted, placing his hands on her waist as he stepped forward.

Felicity shook her head in amusement. “Need me to help with anything else? Or can I go back to my preferred cooking activity. Which is watching you cook.”

Tommy nodded, dipping his head down to her neck, his fingers grazing the edge of her shorts along her thighs. He pressed his lips to her skin, leaving open mouth kisses along the slope of her neck until he reached the bottom of her ear.

Felicity sighed as he softly sucked at the skin, his breath hot against her as he whispered, “I could use your help with something.”

_Something._

Felicity could definitely think of something she wouldn't mind helping him out with.

She smiled as he pulled back, not letting him get far before she kissed him. Her arms wrapped around his neck as she pulled herself closer to him. Determined to keep as little distance between them as she could, Felicity opened her mouth, as she tilted her hips up toward his.

Tommy laughed into her, matching her movement. Her eyes dilated at the contact, losing focus as she lost herself in the sensation of feeling him pressed against her. His hands slid under her shirt, his fingers quickly finding what Felicity was beginning to believe was their favorite spot just below the underwire of her bra.

There was no rush, Felicity realized as she dipped one hand under the collar of his shirt, lazily running her hand along the space in between his shoulder blades.

She was kissing Tommy in her mother's kitchen while they made dinner as if she had all of the time in the world to do so.

Only they didn’t.

Her days of being able to do this were limited. Kissing Tommy whenever she wanted to was an activity that had an expiration date.

The kiss changed then, transforming from something calm and easy to heated and slightly desperate.

Felicity’s fingers dug into Tommy's neck as the kiss grew, pushing her chest forward until there was no space between them.

Felicity was the first to break the kiss, her lungs burning for oxygen as she took a deep breath. Her darkened eyes met Tommy’s for a brief second, his chest heaving as he caught his breath.

Felicity drug her teeth over her bottom lip as she smiled at him, her eyes gleaming before she closed the space between their lips again.

She didn't want to stop kissing him.

She wasn't positive she was ever going to be ready to stop kissing him.

Tommy moaned as she focused her attention on his bottom lip, her teeth slightly scraping as she pulled his lip into her mouth. Felicity repeated the action at his vocal response, determined to hear it again.

She needed more.

Using one hand, she made quick work of unbuttoning his shirt. Her other hand moved to cover the skin she was exposing, trying to memorize the different curves and dips along his abdomen. Over the years, Felicity had seen Tommy shirtless numerous times, she knew what he _looked_ like, but knowing how his skin felt underneath her was a sensation she wanted to remember.

Tommy removed his hands from Felicity's shirt, reaching behind her to push the cutting board and carrots out of the way before he lifted her up, setting her down in their place.

Felicity gasped at the movement, holding tightly onto Tommy’s shoulders, the uncovered skin on the back of her legs cooling against the laminate of the counter.

Tommy groaned, his eyes darkening as Felicity wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him closer as she finished adjusting to the new angle. Smiling at him sweetly, Felicity moved her hands from his shoulders to his chest, pushing his shirt off as she went.

She leaned back until she was far enough away that she could see and appreciate Tommy standing shirtless in between her legs. Heat spread through her body as she used the position to grind her hips against his.

Felicity’s smile grew as Tommy’s eyes fluttered shut, a low groan escaping him as she leaned forward, lowering her head and pressing her lips against his collarbone, sucking at the skin.

She could get addicted to the way Tommy tasted, the way his hands felt pressed against her, always pulling her closer.

“And here I thought my days of walking in on my daughter making out in my kitchen had long since passed.”

Felicity pulled her face away quickly, her eyes wide as she looked over at Donna. Who looked far too happy for someone who did just walk in on her daughter making out in her kitchen. Sitting on top of the counter no less.

Having never been in a similar situation, Felicity had no idea what she was supposed to do. She imagined she should lower herself from the counter, or at least loosen the grip of her legs around Tommy’s waist so he could get his shirt. There was no reason for both of them to be embarrassed.

Though with his body, he probably wasn’t phased about being shirtless. If anything was phasing him about the moment, Felicity imagined it would be that over a minute had passed since Donna had walked in, and Felicity _still_ had her legs wrapped around him, refusing to let him move away.

“You’ve never walked in on me kissing anyone,” Felicity said without thought, trying to fill the silence. Blushing as Donna smiled at her, Felicity slowly moved her legs, allowing Tommy to step back as she lowered herself from the counter.

“I’m going to go change. You two go ahead and finish _cooking_ ,” Donna teased, the wink she gave overexaggerated and mortifying as she backed away from the kitchen and headed toward her room.

Felicity remained perfectly still, the counter almost painful against her back as she waited for Donna’s door to shut.

Tommy bent down to pick up his shirt, sliding it on as he stood up. He leaned forward after he finished redoing the buttons, kissing Felicity lightly on the cheek.

“You want to put the carrots in the pot while I get the bread ready?” He asked as he grabbed the bread from the table.

Felicity slowly nodded, turning around to gather the few stray carrots and place them back on the cutting board. She wasn’t sure how Tommy managed to transition seamlessly from what they had been  doing to cutting a loaf of bread when she still didn’t feel fully functional.

Unless them kissing wasn’t affecting him the same way.

The thought sobered Felicity quickly, as she poured the carrots into the boiling broth.

“You okay?” Tommy asked, pressing the baking sheet in his hand against her side, stopping her from delving deeper into her fears.

“Yeah,” she responded, a mostly true smile on her face as she moved out of his way. “I just probably could have gone my entire life without that moment.”

“My mom walking in,” she clarified a moment later. “Not that kiss. The kiss was great. Definitely glad that my life had that particular moment.”

Tommy smiled, visibly appearing to relax at her reassurance.

Donna walked back into the kitchen before either of them could say anything else. She had changed into one of the ugly Hanukkah sweaters Felicity had warned Tommy about and a pair of white sweatpants.

The sweater she had chosen was actually Felicity’s favorite of the bunch. The dark blue of the fabric complimented Donna’s skin well, and the phrase “I love Hanukkah a latke” never failed to make Felicity smile.

“You two made soup?” Donna asked, opening the refrigerator and pulling out a water bottle.

“Yeah,” Felicity answered, nodding toward the pot. “I thought you weren’t going to be home until seven?”

“Six or seven,” Donna said with a smile. “I’ll remember to open the door louder tomorrow.”

Felicity sighed loudly, rolling her eyes as she tried, and failed, to stop herself from blushing again. “Well, you had perfect timing. To light the candles,” Felicity added, her eyes widening. “I’m just… I’m going to go set everything up.”

Felicity walked straight for the storage cabinet in the living room, which contained Donna’s Hanukkah supplies. Crouching down, Felicity pulled out a small wooden box with a poorly carved dreidel on the top. Carefully setting the box on her bent knees, Felicity dug through the multitude of brightly colored dreidels Donna had acquired over the years, searching for the one she wanted.

The dreidel she was looking for was fairly basic, unpainted wood with brightly colored symbols on the side. The only thing that made it special to her was the five hours she had spent as a six year old going over the symbols with glue and glitter.  

“It’s on the windowsill,” Donna said.

Felicity turned her head, her hand resting on the single shelf in the cabinet for balance as she followed Donna’s stare. She spotted it then, just beneath the menorah where Donna had placed several small Hanukkah themed trinkets.

“What’s it doing over there?” Felicity asked as she turned back to the buffet, putting the box back where it had been and grabbing two Hanukkah candles.

“I wanted more glitter for some of the Menorah pictures,” Donna answered with a shrug.

Felicity rolled her eyes as she stood up, stretching onto her tiptoes before heading toward the menorah. She placed the candles in their respective holders before spinning the dreidel and picking it up.

“Chocolate or pennies?” Felicity asked.

“Do you really have to ask?” Donna countered, pretending to be offended as she reached for the small bowl of chocolate candies that rested on the table.

“Dreidel?” Tommy asked from the kitchen. “I was going to make these surprise dreidel cookies I saw online.”

Felicity turned her head, staring at Tommy with wide eyes, the now familiar pang of want that seemed to overcome her every time Tommy did something remotely domestic rushing through her. He was looking up Hanukkah related recipes to cook for them.

It worried Felicity that Tommy might be the best boyfriend she had ever had, and he wasn’t _really_ her boyfriend.

How was anyone supposed to live up to the expectations she now had?

“Food should be done in about thirty minutes,” Tommy announced as he walked out of the kitchen, standing next to Donna.

“Perfect!” Donna exclaimed. “Just enough time for Felicity to light the candles and some dreidel.”

“Or,” Felicity started, walking back to the windowsill. “We could show you the pictures from today. Tommy wanted to play tourist.”

“You took pictures?” Donna asked in surprise.

Tommy smiled softly, dipping his head down. “I thought you’d like them.”

Donna beamed, placing her hand on top of Tommy’s briefly. “I’m going to love them.”

“Well, get on with it, Felicity,” Donna teased, her smile knowing as she looked at Felicity. “I have pictures to look at.”

“Right,” Felicity said, shaking her head as she turned around to face the menorah.

Felicity lit the shamash candle, reciting the blessing easily before she lit the two candles on the menorah. She smiled as she returned the shamash candle to the center of the menorah, taking a moment to appreciate the way the soft light and shadows from the candles danced along the bronzed metal.

She took a step back before turning around, sitting down at the table. “All right, let’s see those pictures.”

The rest of the night passed by quickly, filled with Donna’s squeals over the pictures, food, and games. It surprised Felicity how quickly the desire for sleep overcame her. One second she was teasing Tommy about how unfair it was that he kept winning with _her_ lucky dreidel, and then she was barely able to keep her eyes open.

“I’m going to bed,” Felicity declared, stretching her arms above her head, yawning loudly before she pushed the chair back to stand up.

She paused by Tommy, leaning down to kiss his cheek.

“I’m going to finish sending these pictures to your mom, and then I’ll be in,” Tommy said, his hand resting on Felicity’s hip.

Felicity nodded, a lazy smile on her face as Tommy adjusted his head to kiss her again.

Felicity had almost made up her mind about which new pajamas she wanted to wear when the door to the bedroom opened.

“You seem to be thinking pretty hard about those pajamas,” Tommy teased, standing in the doorway to the room.

Felicity rolled her eyes, playfully glaring at him as he shut the door and walked forward until he was standing next to her. “I just have so many options now, how am I ever supposed to chose?”

Tommy looked down at the choices spread across the bed, a strange look clouding over his face. Felicity pushed her lips together as she watched him trying to decipher what message his body was sending, and why she had suddenly stopped understanding its language.

“These ones,” Tommy announced, tapping the ones farthest from Felicity, decorated with different sized cupcakes.

“Those ones?” Felicity asked in confirmation as she picked them up.

“Yeah, I think those ones will be perfect.”

Felicity stared at him, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Perfect for what?” She questioned.

Tommy shook his head, a secretive smile on his face.

“You’ll see.”

Felicity narrowed her eyes as Tommy began to turn around, trying to figure out what he was planning. Years of friendship had taught Felicity that the particular smile that Tommy couldn't shake off his face meant that he was up to something.

Yawning, Felicity shut her eyes for a moment; she was going to have to figure it out tomorrow. The only thing she wanted to focus on currently was how she was going to change into her pajamas while sleeping at the same time.

Grabbing the remaining clothes on the bed, Felicity placed them on the nightstand.

“You going to turn around so we can change?” Tommy asked. Felicity could hear the tease in his voice, but she could also hear his sincerity in the offer.

If she were being honest with herself, she heard his insecurity about whether changing in front of each other was now allowed. But that was another dangerous path.

Stopping herself from thinking through _any_ of her thoughts was beginning to feel like a dangerous path. Avoiding them all entirely was exhausting.

Felicity made up her mind quickly, maintaining eye contact with Tommy as she lifted her shirt up, the fabric blocking his face as she pulled it off completely. She stood still for a minute, nerves bunching up in her stomach as she reminded herself that she was standing in front of him in only her bra and shorts. She twisted the shirt in her hand and watched him watch her.

His chest stilled, his eyes appearing to darken from his pupils beginning to dilate. A thrill shot through Felicity at the reaction, a part of her pleased that she found a way to surprise him.

Confirmation, in a way, that he wasn't as unaffected by the sudden changes in their friendship as he seemed.

Felicity raised her eyebrow in a challenge, slowly lowering her gaze from his face to his body. She brought her eyes back to his, smirking as he swallowed, throat visibly constricting.

“You okay?” she asked, her voice more soft and teasing than she had expected.

His eyes narrowed as he quickly tugged his shirt off in a practiced move. Tossing the shirt behind him, Felicity tore her gaze to watch the garment land against the dresser behind him.

Felicity bit down on her lip, less sure in her plan now that Tommy had responded. He had less clothes to remove, less to put on.

“I don't sleep with underwear on you know,” Tommy said, the words sounded more promising to Felicity's ears than a warning for her to call off this sudden match of chicken she had started.

Felicity’s head dipped down in one short, jerky movement. She knew that.

Boy, did she know that.

“Afraid to show me what you got?” Felicity shot back, surprising herself with the strength of her words.

Her skin was warming up, a blush no doubt snaking down her chest for him to see.

“Are you?” Tommy countered, eyebrow raised.

Felicity shrugged, unbuttoning her shorts, pushing them down before she could convince herself that it was time to call this off.

Tommy kept his eyes on Felicity as she stepped out of the shorts, pushing them to the side with her feet.

Felicity wasn't sure how much time had passed, or even if time was still moving, before Tommy finally lowered his eyes. He did nothing to cover up the way he was taking her in, his tongue darting out to wet his lips as he continued to move his eyes over her body at a painfully slow pace.

It was too much.

She had almost shut her eyes, planning on grabbing her pajamas and finding out just how fast she could put them on when she heard it.

Tommy’s hands brushing against the fabric of his jeans, the noise barely loud enough to be heard over the sound of their heavy breathing.

But it was loud enough to get Felicity's attention, her eyes following the movement from his side to the waistband of his jeans. He took his time undoing the button, and lowering the zipper, and it took all of Felicity's self control to not step forward and help him out.

Self control she almost lost as she took a tiny step forward, her fingernails painfully digging into her palms as she stopped herself.

Tommy finished removing his pants, tossing them behind him much like his shirt.

Only Felicity didn't watch to see where the pants landed. Felicity wasn't sure she was ever going to be able to be remove her eyes from his boxerbriefs, from the very obvious outline of his erection.

Why had she thought that this was a good idea?

Tommy stepped forward, his hands barely touching her hips. He didn't say anything until she looked up at him, and even then he remained quiet, his grip on her tightening as he kissed her.

The action pulled Felicity out of her stupor. Wrapping her arms around his neck, Felicity pulled herself forward, groaning at the contact of their skin.

Tommy moved one hand from her hips, wrapping it around her body until it rested on her lower back.

Felicity ran her tongue along Tommy’s upper lip, moaning as he opened his mouth, allowing the kiss to deepen. Running a hand through his hair, Felicity tugged at the strands as his hand drifted lower, tracing along the edge of her panties.

She gasped, pulling back to look at him.

His eyes were mostly pupil, the dark center leaving very little room for the blue of his irises.

He didn't look like he wanted to stop.

She didn't want him to stop either.

The thought surprised her, scaring her with its intensity enough that her grip on his neck loosened and she stepped back until there was room between them again.

She looked down at their feet, catching her breath as she tried to organize her thoughts.

“We should, uh,” Felicity started, bringing her eyes back up to Tommy’s, smiling as she did. “We should finish getting dressed. My mom is probably still in the living room.”

Tommy nodded, returning her smile as he pulled his arms back. “You don’t think she’s put in those ear plugs yet?” he teased, turning around and walking to the dresser to grab his pajama pants.

Felicity shook her head, not responding as she turned around to remove her bra.

“I'm decent when you are,” Felicity said as she finished buttoning the top button of her shirt.

“Decent,” Tommy responded.

Felicity turned around, a tight smile on her face as she tried to think of something you say before the moment turned awkwardness.

“And just so you know,” Tommy continued before she could say anything. “I thought you looked pretty decent before.”

Felicity laughed as Tommy turned off the overhead light, leaving only the small nightstand lamp on.

“It keeps surprising me,” Felicity said with a small shake of her head.

“How easy this is,” she clarified at Tommy’s questioning glance.

Tommy smiled as they climbed into bed. “I know what you mean,” he said, lying on his back.

Felicity decided to not continue the conversation as she adjusted herself, squirming against him until she found a comfortable position, her head resting against his chest.

Sleep was not coming to her easily, which was almost surprising given how she had almost fallen asleep at the table before. She couldn’t stop thinking about the way Tommy had looked at her, the way that every time they kissed, Felicity lost all ability to convince herself that they were still just friends.

She wasn’t as convinced that nothing between them was changing, or that she didn’t want things to.

“What are you thinking about?” Tommy asked, his fingers brushing over her shoulder.

Felicity laughed nervously, trying to buy herself time to think of something to say that wasn’t going to open up the True Feelings can of worms.

“Just that I think my mom might decide to keep you when all of this is over,” Felicity said, deciding that Donna’s obvious adoration of Tommy was the safest topic.

“Just your mom, huh?” Tommy teased, laughing under his breath. “And here I was thinking that when all of this was over you might want to keep me too.”

Felicity's heart constricted at his words, her mind suddenly full of images of her doing just that, keeping him.

She wasn't sure she would ever be able to formulate the right words to Tommy over how much she _did_ want that.

Instead, she laid her arm over his stomach, her lips ghosting over his chest as she pulled him closer to her.

Maybe he would be able to read between the lines, take her action of pulling him to her as a confirmation of her desires.

Maybe not.

Either way, she needed to move them back into a safe conversation.

“I'm serious, Tommy,” she whispered. “My mom already loved you. You don't really have to keep going out of your way to win her over.”

“My mom,” Tommy paused, and Felicity could hear the emotion in his voice, feel it in the way his muscles tensed underneath her. “My mom used to tell me that all of my schoolboy charm might get me far with girls my own age, it wouldn't get me anywhere when I wanted to win over the girl’s mom.”

Felicity waited for Tommy to continue, using her fingers to draw small shapes against his side.

“She told me I would have to be sincere in everything I did if I wanted that to happen,” he continued. “I was seven when she told me this. I don't even remember what led to the conversation. I mean, it had almost no meaning to me then. Why on Earth would I ever care if somebody's mom liked me? I barely cared if girls my age liked me.”

He laughed, the pillow under his head rustling as he shook his head against it. “But I get it now. So trust me, Felicity, I am not going out of my way to make your mom like me. But I am glad that she does. Another point in the Rebecca Merlyn advice working out for me column.”

Felicity laughed, blinking rapidly to try and dry out the tears that had gathered in her eyes. Now wasn't the time for her emotions.

“Your mom was amazing,” she said after a few minutes of silence, her body finally relaxing to the point that sleep didn't seem such a far off possibility. “I've always wondered if she would have liked me. I mean, I'm not exactly on your dad’s list of favorite people.”

Tommy laughed, squeezing her shoulder. “To be fair, I'm not even on that list for my dad.”

Felicity laughed, shaking her head as she attempted to bury her face deeper into Tommy’s chest, her eyelids slipping shut. “He just doesn't know what he's missing out on.”

Felicity wasn't sure if she was still awake when Tommy spoke next, or if she had dreamed his response to her original question.

“She would have loved you. Trust me, Felicity, my mom would have loved you.”

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say thank you to everyone that has commented/left kudos. It means a lot! Just a heads up that this is the first chapter that really starts working for that 'M' rating!

Felicity woke up alone the next morning. The blanket had been carefully tucked underneath her body, Felicity assumed by Tommy when he left the bed. It was ridiculous for her to miss waking up next to Tommy, but as she stretched and pushed the blanket off, she couldn’t stop herself from thinking of the way Tommy’s body felt pressed against hers. Or to miss the way Tommy radiated enough heat for her to not need a blanket.

She sat up, reaching for her glasses on the nightstand. Slipping them on, she smiled as the rest of the room came into focus. The door was open, allowing her to see Tommy’s reflection in the bathroom mirror.

Felicity watched in amusement as he washed his face. Waking up next to Tommy had left Felicity wanting _more_ , but watching him prepare for the day triggered a deeper desire. One she knew better than to fixate on.

He was talking to his reflection, she realized as she stood from the bed. She could see his lips moving, but he was speaking too low for her to hear what he was saying.

“What are you doing?” Felicity asked as she walked into the small guest bathroom that was next to their room. She yawned as she stretched her arms behind her back, almost missing the way Tommy’s cheeks reddened.

He didn't say anything at first, quickly shoving his toothbrush back into his mouth. Felicity raised her eyebrow as she began setting up her own toothbrush.

“Were you telling your reflection how beautiful you are again?” she teased, smiling at him before beginning to brush her teeth.

“Every morning,” Tommy replied, smiling around his toothbrush, toothpaste foam covering his lips.

Felicity frowned in disgust, shaking her head as she watched him spit into the sink, rinsing his toothbrush out with water before carefully measuring out his mouthwash.

“You're ridiculous,” Felicity said after she finished brushing her teeth, grabbing the bottle of mouthwash from Tommy and not so carefully pouring some straight into her mouth.

“You know the bottle comes with a cup for a reason,” Tommy pointed out, shaking his head in amusement.

Felicity shrugged as she swished the solution around in her mouth. “Too much effort before coffee,” she explained while she rinsed the sink out.

She placed her hands on the counter, staring at their reflection in the mirror. Tommy had only packed the thin black sweatpants for pajamas. Not that Felicity was really going to complain about it now.  It made for a wonderful view, even if it lead to slightly awkward mornings where she woke up with her head on his bare chest, her hands running along his abs in not so friendly ways.

It had also led to them kissing, which she definitely wasn't going to complain about.

“So how does this work?” She asked, meeting Tommy's gaze in the mirror. “Do I just say ridiculous things to myself? Like ‘hey there, beautiful, you look good this morning,’ or ‘you make those cupcake pajamas look delectable.’” Felicity let her voice drop in tone, her eyes narrowing as she tried to say the lines in a completely serious, seductive way.

Tommy laughed, leaning forward slightly as he rested his chin against her shoulder. He kissed the side of her neck, his eyes darkening as they remained focused on their reflection in the mirror. “You really do make those cupcakes look… delicious,” he whispered into her ear.

Felicity burst out laughing, moving away from him and the counter, shaking her head. “You are ridiculous.”

“I'm just saying,” Tommy started with a shrug. “I wouldn't mind eating you up for breakfast.”

Felicity was thankful that her back was facing him as she walked back into the bedroom, her face completely red from his words. The image of Tommy _eating her up_ for breakfast was not one she needed to have vividly in her mind with him in the room. Not when he was just kidding, only teasing her.

Although, given the recent detour they had taken into being friends that kissed, maybe he wasn't just teasing her. Maybe he was coyly trying to make her an offer.

Felicity shook her head slightly, stopping her thoughts. It was too early for her to be questioning where the boundaries of their friendship fell. Especially after the show they had put on for each other the night before.

A show she was having a hard time not replaying in her mind, which worked well for her since she was determined to sear the image into her memory.

Sara helped remind Felicity that she had a limited timeframe to enjoy and embrace the situation. Things were going to go back to normal once they got back to Starling. Which left Felicity with a deep desire to create and retain as many moments between them as possible before going home.

But if all she was going to have with Tommy was one week, she needed to stop letting things get in the way of moving the moments forward.

Things like her mom being in the living room. Or her fear that things would end up changing, which had slowly started shifting into hope.

Hope that was more terrifying than her fear.

“I might have been telling myself how gorgeous I am this morning,” Tommy admitted as he leaned against the bathroom doorframe.

“Oh yeah?” Felicity questioned, barely paying attention as she began going through the closet to find clothes. “You need the ego boost?”

“You did use the ‘my mom’s in the other room’ excuse to put a stop to what I thought was a… promising kiss.”

Felicity blushed, slightly tipping her head as she shook it. The kiss had promise. Tommy’s hands also had promise. His tongue definitely had promise. Felicity was starting to lose her ability to stop thinking of all the things that had _promise_ between the two of them.

“To be fair,” Felicity started, looking over her shoulder to glance at Tommy. “My mom really was in the other room.”

“Hence the ego boost,” Tommy explained, a small smile on his face.

Felicity rolled her eyes before giving Tommy an exaggerated look of sympathy, her hand resting over her heart. “Poor guy,” she teased, laughing as she looked back at the closet. “I’m sure your ego will recover.”

“Your mom is at work, right?”

“Yeah. She should be back around five.”

“And we don't have anything planned for today?”

Felicity shook her head. She had been debating staying in her pajamas all day since they didn't have any plans to go anywhere. “No. I figured I'd catch up on some work. And don't you still need to talk to Oliver? About opening a second club?”

“That can wait until later,” Tommy answered, his voice low.

“What? Do you have plans for today?” Felicity teased, playing with the fabric of the purple shirt she was considering.

Tommy surprised Felicity then, his hands slipping underneath the band of her pants. He ran his thumb along her hip bone as he spoke, “It sounds like what you are telling me is that we have this whole apartment to ourselves, with no plans on going anywhere for a few hours.”

Felicity flushed, blood rushing through her veins at Tommy's unspoken offer. A thrill shot through her knowing that he _wanted_ to continue where they had left off. She dropped her hand from the shirt, placing it on top of Tommy's.

“So you do have plans,” Felicity teased, stepping back until she was pressed against him.

“Ideas,” Tommy corrected. “I have a few ideas of ways we could spend that time. But if you want to work…”

Tommy let his sentence trail off, stepping back until there was a small gap of space between them.

Felicity laughed, pulling on Tommy's arm until he was standing behind her again. “Tell me more about these ideas. Work _might_ be able to survive without me for a little while.”

Tommy’s breath was warm against Felicity’s neck as he leaned down, his teeth gently scraping against the skin where her shoulder met her neck.

“I've always been better at showing than telling,” he whispered as he moved one hand to brush her hair out of the way, his lips continuing a path up toward her ear. “Is that a problem?”

“Not a,” Felicity started, her voice hoarse as Tommy’s lips tugged at her earlobe. “Not a problem. Showing is a good option too.”

Tommy smiled against her skin, placing another kiss against her neck before pulling back. “You sure? I know how much you like words.”

Felicity laughed, turning around to look at him. “We both know I talk too much,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“I have always wondered if you would be as talkative in _certain_ situations.”

Felicity glanced at him, eyes questioning at his word choice. _Always wondered._ He said it with such ease it almost sounded truthful.

But it wasn't. It couldn’t be.  

And it didn’t matter. She needed to focus on the present. The present where Tommy was looking at her with desire.

Questioning the past and worrying about the future would only lead to her second guessing what they were doing. Force her to stop something she wanted to continue.

“You want to find out?” she questioned, hoping that the question sounded more teasing to him than it did to her.

“Is that a challenge?” Tommy asked, unbuttoning the bottom button of Felicity's shirt.

“That depends. You up for it?”

Tommy’s eyes narrowed, one hand dipping under her shirt, the other moving up to the next button.   “Oh, I'm up for it.”

“Show me what you’ve got then,” Felicity said with a laugh, leaning up to kiss him.

The kiss was slow, almost chaste, as Tommy finished unbuttoning her shirt. It surprised Felicity how sure Tommy seemed in his actions compared to before. He was no longer hesitating to touch her, his fingers no longer pausing at the underside of her breast.

Instead, his hands moved with purpose and determination as he pushed her shirt off her shoulders.

Felicity shivered as Tommy’s hands ran up her arms, before wrapping around her waist, running down the bare expanse of her back. He began to move them toward the bed, breaking the kiss and pulling back from her as Felicity’s knees hit the edge of the mattress.

Felicity watched as he opened his eyes. He took his time doing nothing more than looking at her, his eyes slowly moving down her body before he looked back up at her. He smiled, kissing her quickly before he lowered his head, his lips brushing down her neck and along her collarbone before moving down to her chest.

He moved slowly, his mouth warm against her skin as he kissed a path down to her nipple. His tongue darted out, tracing along the sensitive area as he teased her.

She closed her eyes as he finally closed his mouth over the peak, grasping at the back of his neck as he began to suck. Needing more, she twisted her fingers into his hair, trying to pull him in closer to her.

Instead she lost her balance, falling back onto the bed. Surprised, Tommy opened his mouth, releasing her breast.

Felicity moved back onto the bed, laughing as she searched for a more comfortable position. Keeping her legs wrapped around Tommy, she applied pressure against the backs of his knees, silently asking him to follow her.

Tommy nodded, holding her gaze as he spread her legs apart, placing his knees in between them on the mattress. He ran his hands up her legs, the fabric of her pajama pants bunching underneath his fingers.

His hands stilled at the waistband of her pants, his eyes dropping from hers as he looked down at them. “This works too,” he whispered after a moment, his index finger lightly tapping against her stomach.

“Works for what?” she asked, eyebrows knitting in confusion.

Tommy smiled, lowering his head to place an open mouth kiss just below the underside of her breast. “Showing, remember?” he said, punctuating each word with another kiss, moving lower down her stomach.

“Right,” Felicity breathed, squirming under him as his lips brushed over a particularly sensitive spot of skin along her ribs. “Showing, not telling.”

“Unless you want me to tell?” Tommy asked, his fingers curling under the band of her pants and underwear. He ran his tongue down from the top of her ribs to just above her bellybutton, kissing the skin as he looked up at her.

“I could,” he continued, his voice hesitant as he watched her. “I could stop showing…”

Felicity shook her head, cutting him off as she raised her hand to run it down the side of his face. Tommy leaned into her touch, doing nothing to help calm the quickening pace of her heart.

He exhaled slowly, his breath warm as it spread over her skin.  

“I'm a big fan of showing,” she confirmed, her voice barely above a whisper as she maintained his gaze.

A slow, warm smile spread over Tommy’s face before he tilted his head down, placing another kiss just below her belly button.

“Good,” Tommy said as Felicity raised her hips to help make removing her remaining clothing easier. “Showing really is my strong suit.”

“You sure?” Felicity asked, her eyes challenging while Tommy moved off of the bed, pulling her closer to the edge of the mattress. “Because I haven't seen mu--oh,” Felicity moaned, her complaint interrupted as Tommy lowered his head, his tongue pressed flat against her clit.

One of Tommy’s hands squeezed against Felicity's thigh, the other teasingly grazing her entrance while he sucked at the flesh under his tongue.

As he continued, he focused his attention on building her up. His touches were light, barely perceptible to Felicity as he concentrated on finding all of the ways he could bring her close to the edge with just his tongue. Growing impatient, Felicity lifted her hips, sighing in contentment as two of Tommy's fingers finally slid inside of her.

Tommy laughed against her, the vibrations surprising Felicity as she gasped, her fingers digging into the sheet, before Tommy pulled back to look up at her.

“Who is doing the showing here?” Tommy asked, his voice playful while he smiled at Felicity. His smile only grew as Felicity squirmed underneath him, hoping to distract him from talking.

“You?” Felicity offered, almost breathless as she looked at him. Her eyes fluttered shut as Tommy curled his fingers inside of her, almost as if he was trying to remind her that he was. “I just didn't know showing and teasing were synonyms.”

Tommy laughed again, moving his head to playfully bite at Felicity's thigh. Felicity’s heart constricted at the sight, the image of Tommy so open and laughing while between her legs was almost too much.

If she were honest with herself, it was all almost too much. But at the same time, it wasn't enough. Felicity wasn't sure she would ever feel completely satisfied with whatever time she got with Tommy.

“You’re impatient,” Tommy noted, placing a kiss against the inside of her thigh. “I wasn’t expecting that.”

Felicity wanted to deny it, to explain how she was the exact opposite of impatient. After all, how long had she been waiting to be in this exact situation? It was hardly fair for Tommy to make any decisions about her level of patience given the circumstances.

Thankfully, Tommy began to move his fingers, his mouth travelling from her thigh to her center, successfully distracting her from arguing with him.

Because at the moment, she was impatient.

And she wasn’t going to let her desire to correct Tommy overcome her need for him to use his mouth for things that didn't involve arguing with her.

“Tommy,” she breathed as he found a steady rhythm and pattern with his fingers that was beginning to do more than just build her up. Placing a hand on the back of Tommy’s head, she tried to direct him where to go, silently urging him to give her what she needed.

He refused. Moving his head in the exact opposite direction of where she was leading him, his lips falling and kissing areas just next to where she wanted him.

She needed more.

Arching her back, Felicity tried again to signal to Tommy where she wanted him to focus. Tommy laughed, his hand warm against her stomach as he pushed her back down onto the bed.

Felicity moaned as Tommy finally flicked his tongue against her clit. He kept his movements quick and light. Weaving her fingers into his hair, Felicity tried to take control so that she could reach her release.

Tommy retained control, refusing to give anything more than he had. Not that Felicity was _really_ complaining. Even if the quick movements weren't exactly what she thought she wanted, her body was responding pleasantly.

But it still wasn't enough.

“Tommy,” Felicity gasped, looking down at him. Tommy meet her gaze and for a moment Felicity forgot what she was going to say, what she needed. All she was able to think about was how she never wanted to forget how this felt.

How she wanted nothing more than to be able to recall every detail of Tommy's face as he looked at her.  

“Tommy, please,” she continued, her voice too high-pitched and whiny for her liking as Tommy continued the slow, steady movement of his tongue. “I just need--”

Tommy closed his mouth over her clit, gently sucking as he moved his hand from her stomach to cup her breast. His gaze didn't leave hers as he pulled her closer.

Her body tightened, small beads of sweat covering her skin as Tommy rolled her nipple in between his fingers. She tried to keep her eyes open, to keep her focus on watching him, but the more focused Tommy was the harder it was for her to concentrate on anything but letting go.

Gasping Tommy's name, Felicity shut her eyes. Everything in her seemed to still as her pleasure peaked and her mind blanked.

Tommy continued to move his tongue and mouth against her. The movements were softer, almost barely recognizable, but still too much as she came down.

“Too much,” Felicity said with a breathless laugh, lowering her hands to push his head to her thigh.

Tommy didn't hesitate as he continued to kiss her. This time focusing on moving back up her body. He pressed his lips against the inside of her thigh, before sliding his tongue along her hip bone.

“You have too many clothes on still,” Felicity pointed out as Tommy kissed her stomach. She moved her feet lower on his legs, trying to pull the fabric covering them down.

Tommy laughed, placing another kiss between her breasts. “I'm only wearing sweatpants.”

Felicity looked down at him, her smile growing as he looked back at her. “Like I said, too many clothes.”

Felicity's phone chirped, turning their attention to the device on the nightstand.

“Ignore it,” Felicity said, her hand running up Tommy’s chest. “More important things to take care of.”

Tommy grinned. “It's the fourth time it has gone off.”

Felicity narrowed her eyes looking back over at the phone as she tried to recall hearing any notifications. She shook her head slowly, it didn't matter.

Whatever it was could wait.

“Tommy, I’m serious,” Felicity said, her hands dropping from his chest to the waistband of his pants. “It’s probably just my mom. She had talked about meeting for lunch during her break today. It’s not a big deal.”

“You should go,” Tommy said, his eyes dropping from her face to her hands. “You did come all the way out here to see her.”

“She has tomorrow off,” Felicity offered as an excuse.  “The three of us are supposed to go sight seeing. And I think she has a list of places to take you that involve semi-embarrassing stories for me.”

“Felicity,” Tommy said, his voice low in an almost warning as she slid her hands down, her fingers tapping along his skin.

“Go,” he continued, kissing her forehead.

Felicity froze, awkwardly removing her hand from his pants.

“Do you not--do you not want to keep going?” she asked, nervously biting down on her lip.

“I think you know that I do. But you and your mom haven't spent much time together just the two of you. So go,” Tommy suggested, pressing a kiss to her collarbone. “We have time, Felicity.”

Felicity looked up at him, confused at how he could say that with such belief. They had five more days. Five more days before Hanukkah ended and they were back on a plane to Starling City.  A world where they weren’t together.

A world where they _wouldn’t_ be together.

Mornings like this weren’t in their future. And yet he was looking at her as if that timeline didn’t matter, as if it didn’t exist. He was looking at her like he truly believed that they had nothing but time.

“Okay,” Felicity reluctantly agreed as Tommy rolled off of her. “I’ll go to lunch.”

\---

Tommy was screwed. If he had learned anything in the last three days, it was that he was absolutely, without a doubt, completely screwed.

He had managed to deny, ignore, and hide his feelings for Felicity successfully for so long, he had refused to doubt that he couldn't make it through eight nights of pretending to be her boyfriend. Eight nights. Barely over a week. Nothing was going to change between them in eight short nights.

There should have been nothing to worry about. Eight nights of being able to show the world how he really felt about Felicity and then he would go back to just being her friend. The plan was simple.

It was _supposed_ to be simple anyway.

Yet, nothing had been simple since they kissed on the plane. Unlike Felicity, Tommy knew with his original offer that they would need to do couple-like things, such as kissing, to maintain the ruse. He had spent the night before the flight preparing himself. By the time they got on the plane, he had been certain that he would be capable of doing what would be needed. Positive that nothing between them would change.

Things had changed though. Enough that Tommy wasn’t sure anymore where anything between them stood. Their friendship felt like it was constantly shifting, changing too fast to form even a general shape for him to use as a base.

He had prepared for holding her while Donna lit the menorah and for small kisses while in Donna’s presence. He hadn’t expected that they would spiral into the unknown territory of friends who kissed.

Friends who practically dry humped on the kitchen counter while making soup.

He hadn’t planned on knowing what his name sounded like on her lips as she came.

It complicated the plan. It more than complicated the plan.

How were they supposed to go back to being friends?

Was that really what they wanted?

He still wasn’t positive that Felicity felt anything toward him that was real. Anything she might feel for him was hard to believe in their situation. They were pretending to be together, she was _supposed_ to appear to have feelings for him. That didn’t make it real. But, for the first time, he wasn’t positive that she didn’t.

A part of him was using the situation they were in to see how far he could push the boundaries of their friendship before one of them cracked.  Or until clear lines were finally found and drawn.

The further he pushed, the more he wondered whether there were any boundaries for them to find, or what would happen if he gave in and just admitted to Felicity that he was actually in love with her.

In truth, even if Felicity didn’t return his feelings, he could live with only being her friend. But it didn’t stop him from wishing… from _hoping_ that she also wanted more.

If only he had the courage to tell her, to be brave enough to tell her that he wasn’t pretending.

But as much as he wanted things to change and grow between them, he was terrified of ruining everything they had.

Felicity _may_ have feelings for him, but if she didn’t, knowing that he did would inevitably change things. Telling her was a risk, one that he might _have_ to take eventually… but not yet.

Tommy stood up from the bed, grabbing his cell phone before walking out to the patio. The sun was starting to set, which meant that Felicity and Donna would be home soon.

He needed to call Oliver before then.

He leaned over the patio’s balcony, taking a moment to calm his mind as he looked out at the view of the Strip beginning to light up against the sky. Given the way the conversation had ended the last time Oliver and Tommy talked, Tommy wasn’t sure exactly what to expect this time.

Especially when Tommy knew he wasn’t going to be able to keep pretending as if he wasn’t affected by what was happening. Oliver had been right, everything was changing.

“Hey,” Oliver answered.

“Hey,” Tommy responded, his focus remaining on the distant scenery. He waited for Oliver to say something next, to decide where the conversation was headed.

“You and Felicity make a cute couple,” Oliver said after another moment of silence. “You two still trying to convince yourselves that it’s not real?”

“It’s not,” Tommy said without thought. “We went over this already. I’m just doing a--”

“Favor for a friend,” Oliver finished sarcastically. “Because pretending to be in a relationship is something friends do all the time.”

“That’s not--”

“You know,” Oliver continued, talking over Tommy. “I get how you managed to keep convincing yourself before that Felicity only saw you as a friend. It’s complete bullshit, but I get it. What I don’t get is how you are doing it now?”

“None of this is real,” Tommy said, pushing back from the balcony. “It’s just an act.”

“Right,” Oliver said slowly, completely unconvinced. “Just an act. You know, Donna told Sara that she walked in on the two of you going at it in the kitchen while she was at work yesterday.”

Tommy swore under his breath, looking down at the ground. “Since when do Donna and Sara talk so damn much?”

“Since you and Felicity decided that pretending to be together was a good idea.”

Tommy sighed, his mind scrambling to find a way to describe what had happened to Oliver without giving him another reason to believe that things were any different.

It was harder than he had imagined. It didn't feel right to just say they were hooking up out of… convenience. Not when Tommy knew it was at least more than that to him.

“Trying to come up with an excuse about how that's just another thing friends do for each other? Because I don't recall you making out with me last time you came over for dinner.”

Laughing, Tommy looked back up from the ground, his fingers tapping against the banister. “Well, you never asked.”

“Why don’t you just tell her how you feel?” Oliver asked, avoiding Tommy's attempt to use humor to deflect from their conversation with a well practiced ease. “Honestly, Tommy.”

“Because if she doesn’t--”

“No,” Oliver interrupted, almost too forceful. “You don’t get to keep hiding behind that anymore. If she doesn’t, she doesn’t. You guys will figure that out then.”

“I can’t lose her, Oliver,” Tommy said quietly, low enough that he was worried that Oliver hadn’t heard him.

“I know you think you can’t. I know you have it in your head that if she knows how you feel and doesn’t feel anything back that you’ll lose her. I know all about your fears here, Tommy.” Oliver finally spoke, sighing heavily before continuing. “But that’s all that you have right now. Fear. Just tell her.”

“It’s not--it’s not that easy,” Tommy argued, shaking his head. “What am I supposed to say? I don’t… I can’t start that conversation.”

“It might not be easy,” Oliver conceded. “But you are making it a lot harder than it has to be. How do you think this is going to end if you don’t?”

“With us still being friends?”

“And you really think that’ll be enough for you now?”

Tommy didn’t have to think about his answer for long as he turned around to look into the apartment. Felicity and Donna were walking in, bags in their hands. Felicity was smiling, laughing while she put the bags on the edge of the couch.

It wouldn’t be enough.

“No,” Tommy said, his eyes carefully watching Felicity as she walked toward the balcony. “It won’t be. But if it’s all that I get, I can live with it.”

“Tommy,” Oliver started, his voice low in warning.

“Look man,” Tommy interrupted, his voice louder, fake as Felicity walked out of the apartment. “I think a second location is in our future, I just don’t know if now… if now is the right time to go for it.”

“Felicity come home?” Oliver asked, a humorless laugh following his words. “Just tell her, Tommy.”

“I’ll talk to you later,” Tommy finished, barely listening to Oliver before he hung up.

“Hey,” Felicity said, her fingers pulling down at her shirt as she tilted her head. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Tommy lied, stepping forward to kiss her cheek. “Everything is fine. Oliver’s just being pushy about some changes.”

“You don’t want to expand?”

“I don’t… I don’t want to ruin anything. Things with the club are good right now, for the first time actually. I just want to wait a little while until we make decisions that could risk that.”

Felicity watched him carefully, opening her mouth and closing it before looking away from him.

Tommy’s stomach clenched when Felicity looked back at him, worried that she was seeing right through him. That she knew they weren’t talking about work anymore.

“For what it’s worth, I think the risk might be worth it. Never know unless you go for it, right?” Felicity asked, shrugging as she smiled at him.

“We brought Chinese,” Felicity continued, changing the subject as she nodded back toward the apartment. “And I think my mom has plans for us to spend the rest of the night planning every detail for tomorrow. She’s pretty excited to have a whole day with us.”

“That sounds nice,” Tommy said, tossing his phone between his hands as he tried to to stop Oliver’s voice from repeating in his head.

_Just tell her_.

Tommy watched Felicity for a moment, just imaging how she would react if he could just tell her. Her bottom lip was pulled between her teeth as she watched him back. There was no doubt in Tommy’s mind that Felicity knew something was going on; she only chewed on her lip when she was nervous or when she was trying to figure something out.

He hated the thought that she could be trying to figure out what was going on between them and nervous about what she would discover.

Was she scared that she was going to find that he had feelings that she didn’t return? Or was she scared that he wouldn’t return hers?

Which was why he was going to tell her. He had to tell her the truth.

Felicity deserved the truth. So did he.

“So, Chinese or candles first?” Tommy asked, nodding to himself, determined on his slowly forming plan, before he slid the door open behind Felicity.

Felicity took a small step back into the apartment, her eyes never leaving Tommy’s. She narrowed her eyes as she watched him, refusing to retreat further into the apartment as he stepped forward, his body brushing against hers.

She knew something was going on with him, there wasn’t any doubt in Tommy that she knew something was changing.

He just wished he could just as easily read if it was a change she wanted.

She nodded, but Tommy wasn’t sure if she was nodding to him or to herself. But then she turned around, walking into the apartment and over to the menorah.

“Candles first.”

 


	8. Chapter 8

“You seem awfully thoughtful tonight,” Felicity pointed out as she finished pulling up her pajama pants. She grabbed the matching pajama shirt from the bed before she turned around to look at Tommy.

Tommy smiled, watching Felicity while leaning back against the closed door. His eyes narrowed as Felicity pulled her tank top over her head, leaving her in her bra.

The red bra that Tommy had found in her suitcase when they had first arrived. Felicity watched as he pushed away from the door, walking toward her.

“I've just been thinking of ways to make this trip even better,” Tommy answered, his hands resting on Felicity's hips.

“Better?” Felicity teased, looking up at him. “I'm pretty sure I'm never going to be able to come home again. Nothing is going to top this.”

“You'll just have to keep me on call, drag me out a few times a year. It could be fun.”

Felicity laughed, watching as Tommy’s hands moved from her hips, running up her back until they reached the clasp of her bra.

“How much warning do you think you'll need?” she asked as he undid the clasp. “A week? A month? Should we maybe spend tomorrow creating a calendar of potential holidays I'll need you for?”

Tommy shook his head, taking the shirt from Felicity’s hands. Opening the shirt, he held it behind Felicity so that she could put her arms in.

“I mean, I managed this on less than twenty four hours notice. I could probably do it again,” Tommy answered as he pressed a kiss to her shoulder before he pulled back and began to button her shirt.

“Besides,” he continued, moving his hands to the second button. “We are probably going to have to schedule some dates when we get back anyway. To send her pictures.”

“Is that what you've been thinking about all night?” Felicity asked, running her finger under his chin until he looked at her and not her shirt.

She sighed as he gave her _another_ thoughtful look before looking back down without answering.

He stayed silent as he finished the third and fourth button. His fingers trailed up her stomach slowly between each button, almost distracting her from her question.

“It's one of the things I've been thinking about, yeah,” Tommy answered as he finished the last button. He tapped his finger against the hard, purple button before stepping back, his hands reaching for the bottom of his shirt.

Felicity watched as he took his shirt off, the way his body moved as he threw the shirt to what Felicity imagined he thought was the dirty pile in front of the dresser.

“What are the other things you've been thinking about, Tommy?”

“It's a surprise.”

“I hate surprises,” Felicity reminded him, her eyebrows lifting to accentuate her words. “You know that.”

“You'll like this one,” Tommy said, his voice surprisingly convincing as he smiled at her.

“You said that before the frat party where we ended up in the hospital for the night because of my nut allergy,” Felicity reminded him, shaking her head as she pulled down the blanket on the bed. “Why won't you just tell me?”

“Ruins the surprise.”

“Tommy!” Felicity whined, rolling her eyes as she looked at him. “Come on, there's no room for secret keeping between us. You know all my secrets.”

“All of them?” Tommy asked, his eyes darkening as he looked at her.

He was looking at Felicity as if he needed more from her. An admission, an acknowledgement, something more than what she had been giving. But she wasn't sure what he was looking for.

“I think,” Felicity started, hoping that honesty was what he was looking for. “I think if you looked hard enough, you'd find that you really do know all of them, Tommy.”

“I'm just thinking of things to make this Hanukkah trip an even bigger success.”

“Things? What kind of things?” Felicity prodded, smiling as she looked at him.

“Well, one, I was planning out our marriage proposal.”

Felicity paused, her lips twitching as she tried to comprehend what he had said. Because it had sounded like he had said something about a marriage proposal. Their marriage proposal. A marriage proposal for their very fake relationship.

“I'm sorry, what--”

“I was thinking after dinner on the last day of Hanukkah,” Tommy said, speaking over Felicity. “But I could be talked into a different night.”

Felicity turned around then, her fingers digging into the top sheet on the bed, her fingers twisting into the fabric as she started to pull it down. “What marriage proposal, Tommy?”

“I said ours, didn't I?”

“There will be absolutely no proposing to me on any night of Hanukkah,” Felicity declared as she turned her neck to look at him again, her fingers still clenched around the sheet. “Absolutely not.”

“Would you prefer during the day?” Tommy paused, nodding to himself. “I could work with that.”

“Would I prefer…” Felicity let her sentence trail off as she squeezed her hands tighter against the fabric. “You are not proposing to me. This whole situation is out of control enough as it is. We are not throwing in fake diamonds and declarations of undying love.”

“Why not?” Tommy asked, stepping forward from the dresser and toward Felicity. “I would do a hell of a job proposing. It would be the best damn proposal of your life.”

Felicity closed her eyes, trying her hardest to stop her mind from going down that path. To ignore the way her heart had started racing. She most certainly wasn’t going to let herself dwell on the fact that Tommy proposing to her certainly _would_ be the best proposal she could imagine. “Tommy--”

Tommy’s fingers brushed against Felicity’s hand, stopping Felicity from finishing her sentence as she opened her eyes.

He was kneeling in front of her.

Felicity exhaled harshly, her brain failing to fully understand how this was happening. She tugged harder on the shirt in her hand, the sound of her heart racing echoing in her ears as Tommy’s stare continued.

He was looking at her in such a serious way, his expression open and honest. She could feel the way his hands were barely shaking as he took the shirt from her, setting it on the nightstand next to them.

He was nervous and Felicity wasn't sure why.

“Felicity Smoak--” Tommy started, pausing as he took a deep breath.

“Tommy. No,” Felicity interrupted, shaking her head. “You are not fake proposing to me while you are shirtless and I am wearing pajamas decorated with cupcakes.”

“But I love the cupcakes,” Tommy said with a playful grin, his face slowly transitioning back into a more serious look as he continued. “And I love you.”

Felicity stared at him, her eyes widening as he spoke. She ran her tongue over her bottom lip before sucking it into her mouth and biting down as her nerves grew.

This was not happening. This was not real. This was some awful karmic joke for some terrible thing Felicity had done in a past life.

She wasn’t sure when Tommy had become such a good actor, but she was having a hard time reminding herself that this was a joke.

Because he was still looking at her with such an open face, his hand felt sweaty as he held onto hers, his voice almost shaking as he continued his speech.

“You are my best friend. And nothing would make me happier than spending the rest of my life with you. Together. As a team. So, let me? Let me love you, Felicity.”

Felicity blinked quickly, her eyelashes wet as they pressed against her skin. That wasn’t the proposal she had been expecting.

That sounded less like a marriage proposal… and more like a proposal for a chance.

A chance for them to be more?

“Tommy--”

Felicity was interrupted as the door opened, Donna walking into the room without pause. Felicity watched as Donna’s expression changed rapidly, realization of what she was walking into.

“Mom--”

“Oh. My. God!” Donna shrieked, clapping her hands in front of her body. “Are you--” She half asked, looking at Tommy, not bothering to wait for an answer before moving on in her stream of questioning. “Where’s the ring? How long have you been planning this? Did she say yes?”

Tommy didn’t look away from Felicity as he answered Donna’s last question. “She hasn’t answered yet.”

Felicity looked back and forth between her mom and Tommy for a few moments, blood rushing through her.

She had wanted to say yes before Donna had walked in. Even if it was just a fake proposal, even if she had misread what he was asking her, she _wanted_ to say yes. She especially wanted to say yes if he was asking… if he was asking if she wanted to be with him.

But she didn’t know if that was what he was asking and she couldn’t exactly ask him to clarify his intentions in front of her mom.

She needed to answer him though.

It wasn’t like she could say no now either. Not with Donna watching, her face so full of hope, thinking that Tommy had asked her to marry him.

“Yes,” she said finally, looking back down at Tommy. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”

Tommy’s mouth opened slightly, surprise etched in every feature of his face. Felicity would have laughed, because honestly had he expected her to say no, only a lump had formed in her throat seconds after she had said the first “yes.”

Things between them had become complicated enough for Felicity. What were they thinking throwing in a fake promise to get married? To love each other forever? The conversation with Donna once they left was quickly becoming one she wasn’t sure she was going to survive.

Given that Donna was _still_ standing in the doorway, hands cupped over her mouth as she squealed, Felicity wasn’t convinced it was a conversation she was ever going to have. She was just going to avoid her mother’s calls and dodge her questions for the rest of her life.

A completely reasonable plan.

Much more reasonable than trying to explain to her that all of this was a lie.

Tommy ran his thumb over her bare ring finger, and Felicity could see the instant he decided he would find a ring.

The relief she felt at being able to read Tommy again was short lived, taken over by the overwhelming fear of what they were going to do next.

Tommy stood, still holding on to her hand as he kissed her. The kiss was soft and slow. Tommy couldn’t stop smiling, which while making the kiss slightly awkward, was absolutely contagious.

Felicity pulled back, her bottom lip caught between her teeth as she smiled at Tommy. The next kiss was more passionate, Felicity wrapped one arm around Tommy’s neck, her other hand resting against the side of his face.

She almost didn’t hear the sound of Donna’s camera going off.

Almost.

“Mom!” Felicity exclaimed, breaking the kiss to look at Donna. There was no mistaking the sound of the camera that time. “What are you doing?”

“My baby girl just got engaged,” Donna said, as if it were some kind of explanation, tears welling in her eyes. “There are so many people I need to call.”

“Mom,” Felicity started, her brain having a hard time keeping up with what Donna was saying. Dates and dresses for her wedding. Her wedding to Tommy.

Wedding.

Tommy.

Two words that she never thought would go together. They sounded really good together though.

“Mom,” Felicity repeated, but Donna was already walking out of the room, phone in hand.

Felicity continued to stare at the doorway, long after Donna had left.

Her stomach fluttered as her nerves grew. The movement of Tommy’s thumb continuously dragging over her ring finger was too much.

She wanted this to be real and him continuing to play the part of excited boyfriend was too much.

“What just happened, Tommy? Did you really… and did I say… did I agree...” Felicity let her sentence trail off, her eyes wide as she pulled her hand away from Tommy’s, taking a step back, needing space from him.

“What just happened?” She repeated, the words coming out in a squeak.

“You said yes,” Tommy answered, following Felicity as she moved until her back was pressed against the wall. He placed his hands to the side of her, taking a moment to just look at her.

“You said yes,” he said again. He moved one hand from the wall letting his finger trace the outline of her body, before resting against her shoulder, his smile growing as the seconds passed.

Felicity knew she should say something, to stop him from distracting her with blinding smiles and perfect fake proposals. They needed to talk. To have an actual discussion about what was happening between them.

But she really wanted to kiss him.

Judging by the way Tommy was leaning down, his lips almost to hers, he felt the same way.

They could always talk later.

\---

Tommy wasn't quite sure when he and Felicity had fallen asleep the night before, but he was thankful when he woke up to find her still asleep.

He needed time. Time to think. Time to plan. Time to wrap his head around everything that had happened.

He wasn't sure what he had been thinking, proposing to Felicity. Not that he didn't _want_ to, because he did. The last few nights had showed him that wanting wasn't a problem when it came to Felicity; he wanted whatever she would give him.

It was a problem because she still didn't know that he wasn't pretending. That he hadn't been pretending.

Oliver had been right, he just needed to tell her.

He had spent most of the night distracted by coming up with how he would tell her. He had originally planned on just going for it, waiting until they were alone and simply telling her how he felt. No buildup, no time to try and see how she was reacting to the carefully worded hints he had been coming up with.

He couldn’t get scared by her reaction or keep looking for a reason to wait to tell her. He was not going back to Starling without her knowing that _he_ _was_ _in love with her._

He hadn't planned on proposing to her then. The idea to propose to her during the trip had been fleeting, something that kept popping in his head as something he may have done if anything had been real.

He was only going to tell her the truth. Be honest about his feelings. Hope that she may feel the same way.

Or that she wasn't against the idea of finding out.

But then she was just standing there in ridiculously cute pajamas, half asleep getting ready for bed and he was proposing to her.

Because how could he not?

He wanted to spend the rest of his life going to sleep next to her. To spend their mornings the way they had yesterday. He wanted every opportunity to memorize the way Felicity tasted, the way she sounded when she came from his tongue. He wanted the chance to find out how she would sound, and how she would feel, in other circumstances. He wanted mornings like this, with Felicity curled against him still asleep.

He wanted to see his mother’s ring on her finger.

And, sure, he could have led with letting Felicity know that his feelings for her were real. Or even ended with letting her know. The whole point of the proposal had been to tell her.

But then Donna walked in and Felicity said yes.

For a moment, Tommy had let himself fall for it. Felicity had said yes to what she believed was a joke, a proposal that had an expiration date.

He had managed to make an already messy situation messier and he had no idea where to start cleaning up.

Or how.

Mostly, he just wanted to go back to pretending that things were going to be okay if they never talked about any of it. That maybe if they just kept going on this way, Felicity would realize that Tommy had been a terrible actor throughout their entire friendship and that his feelings were real.

She was the smartest person he knew. She was bound to figure it out eventually.

But maybe, _maybe_ another proposal would push her into the light. One where there was no risk of Donna interrupting. One where he could tell her the truth.

He needed his mom’s ring.

He would tell her the truth this time.

Felicity wrinkled her nose, drawing Tommy’s attention from his thoughts down to her as she slowly shook her head, trying to dig her head into his chest.

“It's too early for my mom to try and be cooking,” Felicity whined, her voice heavy with sleep. “What is she thinking?”

“Probably that it's ten in the morning and that we are hungry?” Tommy offered, his hand drifting over her back.

“We need to go stop her. It smells terrible. I'm surprised the fire alarm hasn't gone off yet.”

“I volunteer you,” Tommy teased, kissing the top of her head. “I'm pretty sure mentioning a fire alarm going off is a jinx.”

Felicity groaned, tightening the arm that was wrapped around Tommy’s waist. “Five more minutes?” she asked with a yawn, turning her head until Tommy could see her face. “I don't know if I'm ready to face today just yet.”

“Five more minutes and we might have to evacuate the apartment,” Tommy pointed out, his fingers dragging along the strip of exposed skin between Felicity's pants and her shirt.

Felicity shook her head, groaning as the intrusive beeping of the fire alarm went off. “I think you jinxed it. Not me,” she pointed out as she began to sit up, pausing slightly to kiss Tommy before running out of the room.

Tommy followed slowly behind her to the kitchen. He smiled in amusement as he watched Felicity  wave her hands in front of the fire alarm. Felicity frowned as the alarm continued before moving toward the back of the kitchen to open the window.

The alarm finally died down, the only reminder that it had been going off the sound still repeating in Tommy's head and the tray full of burnt… something on the counter.

“Well,” Donna started, turning her head to look at Tommy. “I hope you really weren't expecting home cooked meals too often as a member of the Smoak family.”

Tommy laughed, smiling as he shook his head. “These fingers,” he started, raising his hand while wiggling his fingers, “were made for placing delivery orders.”

Felicity snorted. “What were you trying to make? I thought we were going to go out for breakfast?”

“I figured we could start the day with a homemade breakfast to celebrate,” Donna explained. “The pictures made it look easy.”

“Bottomless mimosas wasn't a good enough celebration for you?” Felicity asked, shooting her mom a worried look.

“Bottomless mimosas is a good enough celebration for anything,” Donna said. “I just thought we could save some time by having breakfast here. I wanted to get started showing Tommy all around town, telling him all the good stories.”

“The good stories?” Felicity questioned. “I'm still a big fan of just going the tourist route instead.”

“I think we are going to start at the park where you broke your arm,” Donna said, ignoring Felicity's suggestion.

“You broke your arm?” Tommy asked, looking over at Felicity. “You didn't tell me that.”

“Fell off my bike. Because some crazy woman thought I had the coordination to ride it without training wheels.”

Donna laughed shaking her head as she began scraping the burnt food into the trash. “Some crazy woman, huh? I wonder if it's the same one who had a stubborn five year old daughter who spent four weeks reminding her mom that she wasn't a baby anymore and didn't need training wheels.”

Tommy smiled at the image in his head. He could almost perfectly see a young Felicity arguing with Donna over training wheels.

“Why don't you two go get a head start on the bottomless mimosas then?” Tommy offered. “I've got to finish some work stuff with Oliver today anyway.”

“Perfect!” Donna exclaimed, clapping her hands in front of her chest. “That’ll give us time to go over wedding details.”

Tommy ducked his head, avoiding looking at Felicity as Donna walked out of the room.

“Traitor,” Felicity teased as she walked closer to him. “Asking me to marry you and then sending me to brunch alone with my mother.”

“You'll be fine,” Tommy assured Felicity, leaning down to kiss her forehead. “If I take too long, you guys could go cake testing.”

Felicity nodded as she looked up at Tommy. “We are going to have to talk about this soon, Tommy.”

Tommy looked away, purposely avoiding eye contact with Felicity.  He knew they were going to have to talk.  That his proposal just threw in another complication to an already complicated week.

He didn't want to talk though. Talking was just going to remind him that the situation wasn't real and he wasn't ready for that.

A part of him was concerned he wasn't ever going to be ready to let it go.

A bigger part of him was worried that if Felicity kept looking at him, she would see right through him. That she would know that he wasn't pretending. That he never had been.

“Tommy,” Felicity said, her fingers pushing against his face until he looked at her again. “I'm serious. We need to talk.”

“Isn't that what the flight home is for?” Tommy asked, keeping his voice light and teasing.

Felicity glared at him, pursing her lips as she shut her eyes. “I need for us to talk. Okay?”

Tommy nodded, forgetting for a second that Felicity couldn't see him. “Okay,” Tommy breathed, reaching down to grab onto Felicity's hand. “But later. Can't we just enjoy today?”

Felicity opened her eyes, squeezing Tommy's hand. “We are running out of later,” Felicity reminded him. “But okay. Later.”

“Thank you,” Tommy said, leaning down to kiss her.

“You're still a traitor,” Felicity mumbled, her lips brushing against Tommy's as she spoke before kissing him.

“I'll try to make my talk to Oliver quick,” Tommy promised as he pulled back.

“More expansion talk?” Felicity asked.

Tommy nodded. “I think… I think we are going to go for it.”

Felicity looked up at Tommy, her expression painfully hopeful as she silently watched him.

Tommy shifted his weight, uncomfortable as she kept looking at him. The expansion excuse had been a thin veil over what he and Oliver had been talking about, he knew that. But he hadn’t expected her to figure it out.

And maybe she hadn’t. If she knew, why wouldn’t she say anything?

Unless she didn’t feel the same way.

“I thought you were worried about the risk?” Felicity finally asked, her teeth dragging over her bottom lip as she bit down on it.

“Some things are worth the risk,” Tommy answered, giving Felicity a tight smile. “At least that's what you and Oliver keep telling me.”

Felicity returned his smile, her eyes bright as she leaned up, brushing her lips against his cheek. “I’m going to get ready.”

“Try to save me some of those mimosas?”

“I make no guarantees if my mom starts talking wedding dresses and dates. So I’d recommend you hurry.”

Tommy laughed, watching as Felicity began to walk down the hall toward their room.

“I’ll try.”

\---

Tommy sat down on the couch, pressing his back against the armrest as he looked down at his phone.

Oliver was not going to like this. He was not going to want to do what Tommy needed him to do.

He would though. As long as he let Tommy explain everything and his plan, he would do it.

Even if he didn't believe a single word Tommy was saying, he would still do it. Oliver was a lot of things, but he was a good friend.

Besides, Tommy wasn't sure why he was so anxious anyway. Oliver had been pushing Tommy to tell Felicity about his feelings for years.

It was possible Oliver wouldn't even second guess his decision.

Tommy clicked the call button, lifting the phone up to his ear as he waited for Oliver to answer.

“What the fuck were you thinking?” Oliver answered in lieu of a greeting.

Tommy froze at the question, his mouth half open in confusion. He hadn’t told Oliver about the proposal and he hadn’t received any notifications from Donna tagging or mentioning him anywhere announcing their engagement.

He had assumed that it had happened too late last night, and that Felicity had managed to distract her from posting anything this morning.

“What are you talking about?” Tommy asked, taking a deep breath before trying to exhale his nerves.

There were a million reasons why Oliver could have answered his call that way. It didn’t mean he knew about--

“What part of proposing to your fake girlfriend slash best friend that you also happen to actually be in love with sounded like a good idea to you last night?”

“How,” Tommy faltered, his brain scrambling to rework the conversation he had preplanned. “How did you--”

“Sara set Donna up with an Instagram account yesterday,” Oliver interrupted, his voice barely masking his annoyance. “A picture of you and Felicity in some post-engagement bliss was her first addition.”

“Sara _set up_ an account for Donna? Felicity is going to be--”

“Don’t change the subject right now, Tommy,” Oliver interrupted. “What are you thinking?”

“I just took your advice,” Tommy deadpanned. “Just tell her, right?”

“Oh no,” Oliver started, pausing briefly to take a deep breath. “I told you to tell her how you felt. I did not tell you to propose to her as a way to avoid telling her the truth.”

“But I did tell her the truth,” Tommy argued. “I told her that I loved her. I just happened to have already started the proposal when that happened.”

“You are an idiot.”

“That's rich coming from you, Ollie,” Tommy snapped, shaking his head as he looked down at the ground.

He had been a part of at least seventy five percent of Oliver's bad plans. In no world was proposing to Felicity anywhere near that level of idiocy.

Then again, Tommy wasn't sure there was any world or circumstances where proposing to Felicity would be a bad idea. The timing was far from perfect, but the idea of marrying Felicity… it was more than he had let himself imagine before.

But now, now Tommy knew what he wanted. A life with Felicity. Or, at least, a chance at a life with her. Not just as her friend, but as the person who got to experience life with her.

Maybe he could have found a better time to propose to her. Starting with after he had told her about his feelings would have probably been a good idea. But that didn't change the fact that every word he had said during his proposal was real. He was in love with her. He wanted to spend his life _with_ her.  

They were doing everything backwards. Tommy knew that. But at least they were moving in a new direction. For the first time, Tommy felt that they might be moving toward a beginning instead of away from it.

Or toward an end.

For a trip that wasn't supposed to change anything, everything was changing too fast for him to keep up.

“Then the fact,” Oliver said, pulling Tommy back to their conversation. “That I am the one calling you an idiot should be alarming.”

“Okay,” Tommy conceded, leaning forward on the couch. “It might have been a better idea for me to tell her how I feel in a more… clear way.”

“Might have been?”

Tommy sighed, his fingers tapping against his leg. “Felicity wanted to talk later. I can bring it up when we do. None of this… it wasn't supposed to be this complicated.”

“And maybe leave big gestures, like proposals, out of the conversation.”

“Actually,” Tommy started, chuckling slightly as he prepared for Oliver's reaction to what he was about to ask. “I was calling to get you to send my mom's ring.”

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my last prewritten chapter guys! So, I’m going to do my best to keep up with weekly updates, but it may end up being a little bit of a longer wait!

Felicity looked up from her plate to find Donna staring at her again. Glancing back down, Felicity focused on the food on her plate, counting the remaining pieces of fruit.

Donna had done nothing but stare at Felicity since they had left the apartment. It was a weird look, one that Felicity was positive she hadn’t seen before, but wasn't quite sure she understood what Donna was trying to express.

She was terrified of asking though, worried that Donna would just claim that she would understand one day.

One day when she was a mom.

Because that's what Donna was imagining. A world where Felicity married Tommy and, eventually, would have children.

A world where Felicity would understand the uncomfortably insightful looks and sighs Donna seemed incapable of stopping.

It was a world that Felicity had to stop thinking about. One that was too easy to get lost in the maybes and what ifs.

Donna sighed again, the same content sigh that was grating Felicity’s nerves, pulling Felicity’s attention back to her.

“Mom,” Felicity sighed, swirling the pancake on her fork in the syrup on her plate before taking a bite.

Felicity tapped her fork against the side of her plate, as she glanced up to look at Donna . She turned her head to the side, shaking her head at the expression on Donna’s face.

“You have to stop looking at me like that,” she said slowly. Felicity kept her voice low, almost a whisper, as if she didn’t want to risk anyone in the restaurant overhearing their conversation.

“Like what?” Donna asked, a small smile on her face as she took a drink of her mimosa. “Like a mom whose daughter just got engaged?”

Felicity stuttered, blinking rapidly as she barely managed to stop herself from saying yes. That she needed Donna to stop looking so damn pleased before the guilt of lying to her grew any larger.

“So, you want to talk about venues and cake?” Donna started, her eyes careful as she watched Felicity. “Or maybe whatever has you upset?”

“Upset?” Felicity asked, her eyebrows pulling together in confusion. “I'm not upset.”

“You just don’t look very happy for someone who just got engaged.”

“Mom,” Felicity began, her fingers running along the rim of her glass before she lifted it to take another drink. “It’s not that I’m not happy, I’m just--”

“Scared?” Donna asked, nodding in understanding. “Because of your dad?”

“No,” Felicity said immediately, her voice sharp as she looked at Donna. “He has nothing to do with this.”

“It’s okay if he does,” Donna said calmly, her attention already slipping back to her food. It was clear to Felicity that Donna wasn’t  trying to upset her. But Felicity could hear the certainty in Donna’s words, the matter-of-fact tone she used giving away just how much Donna believed what she was saying.

Closing her eyes, Felicity focused for a moment on the loud noises of the rest of the restaurant: the clashing of dishes being half-tossed into bus pans, the loud laughter of a child three tables behind them, even Donna’s nails tapping against the table. She focused on finding a rhythm of the noise as she began to calm down, timing her breathing to the imaginary song.

It wasn’t Donna’s fault that she didn’t know what was really going on. Logically, Donna’s assumption that Felicity’s off-behavior was due to her father leaving made sense. There was even a possibility that on some level, it was a part of why she was feeling so nervous.

Tommy could leave.

When Hanukkah ended and they went back home, Tommy could decide that everything that had happened between them was too much. That they had crossed too many lines, blurred too many edges. Not only could Tommy decide that he didn’t want to be _with_ her, but she could end up losing his friendship.

Tommy would walk away, leaving her behind like her father.

Only this time, it would be her fault.

She was scared that the longer she and Tommy went without any real conversation about the things they were doing, the worse it was going to be when they got home. She was just as scared to actually have the conversation with him though, which was why she kept letting him push the talk off.

In the history of their friendship, Tommy had never avoided talking to her about something important. The fact that he was now was concerning.

Friends don’t do what they had spent the last week doing. They don’t fall asleep next to each other every night. They don’t get thrown out of malls for making out. They don’t almost have sex with each other in the morning.

They certainly don’t get engaged.

Tommy may have offered to pretend to be her boyfriend, but Felicity should have never agreed. Even if Tommy didn't know how she felt before, she did. She should have known that she wouldn't be able to pretend to be in love with him without her actual feelings being affected.

She _knew_ that things would change between them. And yet, she still agreed.

She was the reason they were on this path and she still couldn't quite bring herself to entirely regret her decision.

When whatever was going on between them ended, when their friendship ended, it would be because of her decision.

Because at least she knew what they could have been.

Even if Tommy was okay with going back to being just friends, Felicity wasn’t sure it would be enough.

Donna’s fork clanked against her plate, drawing Felicity’s attention to her as Felicity opened her eyes. Her plate was empty, the flute in her hand mostly gone as she held it up higher to get the waiter’s attention.

Donna’s attention, however, remained entirely on Felicity. The look of patience and understanding that painted Donna’s face was almost enough to get Felicity to tell the whole truth.

Almost.

“I’m just scared of getting hurt,” Felicity said slowly, awkwardness spreading over her body at the sound of the half-truth being said out loud. She pressed her lips together into a fine line after she finished speaking, fully aware of the thin line she would be straddling by engaging in the conversation.

“And you believe that fear has nothing to do with your dad?” Donna asked.

Felicity's eyes narrowed, almost defiantly as she answered.  “Maybe not nothing, but you seem to think it has everything to do with it.”

“Maybe not everything--”

“It doesn't matter,” Felicity interrupted, blinking quickly as the familiar sting of tears hit her eyes.  “People change.  People grow apart. People leave. No matter what, I end up hurt. Whatever the reason, that's what scares me.”

Felicity smiled thankfully at the waiter that approached their table, the bright orange liquid in the flutes he carried vivid against the white of his shirt.

Lifting a napkin up from the table, Felicity dabbed the fabric underneath her eyes as she waited for the waiter to take the old glasses and put the new ones down. Donna’s gaze remained sharp on Felicity as she thanked him.

“Hon,” Donna began after he left, pausing to take a drink, “let's leave your dad out of this. Okay?”

Felicity gave a small nod, waiting for Donna to continue.

“You're scared that you'll get hurt. That's a valid fear. You and Tommy may change and go in different directions. Either one of you may decide to leave in the future.”

Felicity bit down on her lip, uncomfortable with the way Donna’s words made it sound equal. Her fear was focused on Tommy being the one to walk away.

She hadn't given much thought to the fact that she could be the one that ends things.

Did Tommy worry about her hurting him the way she did him?

Felicity shook her head, eyes closed, as she pushed the thought away. She needed to end the conversation before Tommy arrived. The last thing she needed was Tommy concerned about hurting her when they got around to talking.  

She didn't need his sympathy to delay him in telling her the truth.  

“What I don't get,” Donna continued,  “Is why you are letting this bother you _now_.”

“Because you won't let it go?” Felicity snapped, frustrated as she reached for her drink.

“Felicity--”

“Mom, I just,” Felicity paused, taking a sharp breath as she sat the empty glass back down on the table. “I'm trying to not think about it. Okay? But I already… I love Tommy. Losing him now would be bad enough, but…”

“Losing him later would be worse?” Donna asked after Felicity’s sentence trailed off. Reaching across the table, Donna’s hand was warm as it cupped Felicity's.

“Yeah,” Felicity quietly said, squeezing her mom's hand. “I think it might be.”

“You worry too much about things that may never happen.”

“Because I want to be prepared for when they do,” Felicity argued. “I don't--”

“You don't want to be me,”  Donna said lightly, as if the idea wasn’t allowed to hurt her.

But it did. Felicity could see it in the way Donna’s eyes darkened, the way she pulled her hand back from the center of the table.

“That’s, that's not,” Felicity paused, sighing as she dragged her bottom lip through her teeth.

It was what she had meant. Felicity had promised herself after her dad left that she would never put herself into a position to be hurt like Donna had been.

But that didn't mean she wanted Donna to feel worse about their past.

“I just want to be prepared,” Felicity said flatly, her eyes dropping to the table, not wanting to see Donna’s reaction.

Felicity moved her fork around the plate, pushing strands of syrup in different directions as a distraction while she waited for Donna to reply.

“You were happy before Tommy,” Donna finally responded. “You felt like a whole person before, right?”

Felicity looked up at Donna, nodding quietly as Donna continued.

“Then you're already more prepared than I ever was, hon.” Donna’s voice cracked at the end of her sentence, the smile on her face tight as she reached back out to Felicity. “I relied on your dad to make me feel okay in my own skin. And when he left… when he left I didn't know how to do that for myself.”

“But you do,” Donna continued, squeezing Felicity's hand.  “You don't need Tommy to complete you, because you complete yourself. You're already prepared. All you need to do now is recognize that. And maybe start enjoying the present, because you are _engaged_. We're supposed to be smiling and thinking about cake, not crying over the past and a fake future.”

Felicity laughed, her heart thundering in her chest at Donna’s unintentional wisdom.

She wasn't going to spend any more time crying or worrying over a fake future.

Things between her and Tommy would work out however they were supposed to when they got back to Starling.

There was no reason to spend the rest of the week worrying about the inevitable.

“I hope you're right,” Felicity said, smiling briefly at Donna.

“Besides,” Donna began, tilting her glass forward. “I don't think Tommy could stand to hurt you.”

Felicity turned around, smiling as she saw Tommy walking toward them. She held her hand up in a half wave before turning back around.

“What do you say we focus on happier subjects for the rest of the day?” Felicity teased, trying to change the atmosphere of their conversation before Tommy reached them.

The last thing she wanted was Tommy trying to figure out what was wrong with her in front of Donna.

Not when she couldn’t keep her thoughts and emotions straight on her own anymore. She needed to take time to think things through without worrying about Donna commenting on her mood or Tommy noticing that she seemed off.

“Nothing but talk of venues or wedding cake from here on,” Donna promised, holding up two fingers. “Girl Scout’s honor.”

Felicity laughed, shaking her head as she demonstrated the correct hand signal. “If you’re going to imitate a Girl Scout, you should probably at least learn the basic hand signals.”

Donna shrugged. “It’s the thought that counts, right?”

Tommy arrived at the table before she could respond. The plate he set on the table was piled high with food; Felicity was convinced that he might actually have one of everything in the buffett on his plate.

Felicity reached for one of the strawberries, taking a bite just before Tommy could chastise her for stealing his food instead of just getting more.

“Really?” Tommy teased as he sat down.

Felicity smiled around the berry, taking the last bite as he leaned over to kiss her cheek.

He paused as he pulled away, raising his hand to run his fingers across the side of her face. Felicity watched as his eyes narrowed in concern.

“What's wrong?” He asked, his fingers dropping down to her collarbone, brushing along her neck.

“Nothing,” Felicity said without thought, sighing as Tommy gave her an all too knowing look.

“You were crying,” Tommy pointed out, his voice low.

“I'm fine,” Felicity promised, her nose crinkling as she smiled at him. “Besides I already made my mom promise to only bring up happy subjects for the rest of the day, it'd be rude of me to pull us back down.”

Tommy shook his head, pulling his hands back. “But we'll talk tonight?”

“That's the plan, right?” Felicity asked, the smile on her face tight as she watched Tommy nod.

“You should have grabbed more fruit,” Felicity teased, grabbing an apple slice.

“The best part of a buffet is that you can go back for more,” Tommy said, pulling his plate closer to him.

“I don't remember the fruit tasting this good before.” Felicity shrugged, picking up another berry from his plate. “Besides, don't think I didn't notice that you only grabbed the fruit you know I can't refuse.”

Tommy simply smiled as he took a bite of a waffle, pushing the plate until it was between them. He picked a raspberry up with his fork, holding it out for Felicity.

Felicity groaned as she heard Donna’s camera snap. Felicity looked over at Donna, rolling her eyes with a small smile.

“Mom, you have to stop with all of the pictures.”

“I have to do no such thing,” Donna responded, not looking up from her phone. “These filters on Instagram are _fascinating._ I'm going to have to post some of the ones from the beginning of your trip.”

“Instagram?” Felicity asked, tilting her head to the side. “You just started figuring out Facebook.”

“Sara,” Tommy explained. “Oliver told me she helped your mom set up an account.”

“It's just for pictures,” Donna explained, placing her phone down on the table. “Sara thought I would enjoy it. And she was right.”

“Sara is a menace,” Felicity said with a sigh.

“I’m surprised she hasn’t called to congratulate you,” Tommy said, moving his hand underneath the table to squeeze her knee. “Oliver was full of… congratulations this morning.”

“What?” Felicity asked, turning to look at Tommy. “How did they--”

Tommy held up his phone, showing her the picture that Donna had posted the night before, the caption ‘she said yes!’ barely registered as Felicity stared at the picture.

They looked so happy.

It was easy looking at the picture to believe that they were really in love.

“Mom,” Felicity gasped, grabbing the phone from Tommy’s hands. “Did you ever think that maybe I would want to announce my engagement?”

“I saved you the ring picture?” Donna said sheepishly.

“That’s not--that’s so not the point.” Felicity groaned, handing Tommy his phone back.

“I could take it down?” Donna offered, reaching for her phone. “I didn't mean to--”

“No, no,” Felicity interrupted, holding her hand up as she looked across the table at Donna. “It's fine, it's fine. Just, maybe save some of the big moments for us to break?”

Donna smiled brightly, putting her phone back into her purse. “I promise the pregnancy announcement will be all yours.”

“Mom!” Felicity exclaimed, her eyes wide as her face heated.

Tommy choked on his drink next to her.

Felicity couldn't bring herself to look at him, positive that whatever his reaction would tell her was something she didn't want to know.

“You two are just adorable,” Donna said, smiling as she took a drink from her glass. “So easily flustered.”

“Uh, so, where are we going after this?” Felicity asked, hoping to change the subject. “The store where I stole my first candy bar?”

“Oh, I figured we'd save that for the next time you come visit. Do a whole top ten places where Felicity Smoak was a brat growing up theme.”

Felicity glared playfully at her mom, shaking her head. “Only ten?”

“You were an annoyingly well behaved child,” Donna answered, grinning at them. “Tommy probably has more of the good stories with you in college.”

“That's not,” Felicity started, turning to glare at Tommy as he started to laugh beside her, his fork dropping to his mostly empty plate.

“I mean, I could think of more than ten places to add to that list in Boston. Easy,” Tommy joked.

“You sure? I'm not recalling any times where _I_ was being a brat. Now you on the other hand...” Felicity smiled at Tommy as she let her sentence trail off.

“Do you remember taking me to buy a new computer right after we met?”

Felicity grimaced, weakly nodding. “I _might_ have been a brat then. But what he was trying to sell you… and for that price. And you were just going to _buy it_ Tommy. He had you. I was just standing up for you.”

Donna laughed, looking back and for forth between Tommy and Felicity. “Well, I was thinking we could start by taking him up to Red Rock.”

Felicity crinkled her nose as she tried to think of what had happened to her at the canyon. She furrowed her brow as her mind remained blank.

She had been dragged to a few parties during high school and it was a pretty common field trip destination.

But nothing significant had ever happened to her there. There was no story for her to tell Tommy.

“And then over to that resort on Mount Charleston. Depending on how long it takes us at Red Rock. It can be a bit of a walk.”

Felicity stared at Donna, realization washing over her face.

She wasn't even sure she had ever been to the resort Donna was talking about.

Donna was taking them to popular wedding locations.

“I don't have any real memories at either of those places,” Felicity said. “You sure you don't want to add the Grand Canyon to the list?”

Tommy fidgeted beside her awkwardly, and Felicity almost felt bad for him.

Until she remembered that he was really the reason Donna was even bringing this up.

“But wouldn't they be a great place for a… new memory?” Donna suggested

“Mom,” Felicity whined as she stared at her. “You are impossible.”

“What?” Donna questioned, raising an eyebrow. “You said wedding venue and cakes were okay to talk about it.”

Felicity opened her mouth to respond, before awkwardly closing it because that is what she had said.

She should have seen this coming.

“I don't see any harm in looking,” Tommy said, glancing over at Felicity. “It'll give us something to compare to the spots we check out in Starling.”

Felicity looked at Tommy, her heart picking up speed at how easily he fell into his role. It wasn’t fair how naturally he managed to play along, to just continue to roll with whatever was thrown at him.

Not when every mention of a wedding that wouldn’t happen seemed to pull at her stomach. It was one thing to talk about possible locations with Donna, maybe even going cake tasting was something she could handle.

But to actually go look at the places Donna had picked out for her wedding seemed unnecessarily painful.  She knew what was going to happen. Donna would make them stand in different locations, testing the scenery behind them until she was happy with the results. She would gush about different ways they could decorate the different locations, the benefits of having the ceremony as the sunset compared to the early afternoon.

Donna was planning on spending the entire afternoon playing wedding planner and Tommy wasn’t just going to let her.

He was going to play along.

She could practically see him thinking of ideas to keep up with Donna.

The idea of spending the rest of the afternoon planning their wedding didn’t seem to be affecting Tommy any more than getting engaged to her did. He was perfectly calm, smiling as he began talking to Donna about some of the things he had already considered for the venue.

Because of course he had already come up with his own considerations for the venue.

He probably had ideas about the cake and half a guest list imagined up too.

Felicity wasn’t sure what made Tommy so capable of playing along so well, but there was no reason she couldn’t do the same.

If Tommy thought he could make it through the beginning stages of planning their wedding, so could she.

“Okay,” Felicity said with a small nod, sitting up straighter in her seat. “To Red Rock we go.”

**\---**

“It really is beautiful here,” Tommy whispered to Felicity, his arm wrapped loosely around her waist as they followed behind Donna.

Felicity nodded, taking a deep breath as Tommy’s fingers slipped underneath her shirt, his fingers warm against her skin. “Yeah, it is.”

“Warm though,” Felicity continued, using it as an excuse to pull herself away from Tommy’s side. “And it’s December.”

Donna stopped ahead of them, turning around as she waited for Tommy and Felicity to catch up to her.

“I think an early morning ceremony would work best here. The sun is going to be brutal much later in the day, especially if you want a spring or summer wedding,” Donna looked at Felicity before grabbing on to Felicity’s elbow and pulling her forward.

Felicity let her, shaking her head as Donna carefully positioned Felicity at the edge of the overlook, pushing against her shoulders until Felicity turned to face the rock formation, her back to Donna and Tommy.

It really was a beautiful location.

The blue of the sky was dark against the deep red tones of the dirt. There was never much greenery or wildlife anytime of the year, but the land wasn’t exactly barren either. There were small patches of desert shrub that colored the distance between them and the rocks, small trees that would provide some color during the right season.

As much as she hated to admit it, Felicity could see herself getting married here.

“Have you given that any thought?” Donna asked.

“To what?” Felicity asked, turning her head to look back at Donna.

Felicity rolled her eyes as Donna waved her hands in front of her, signalling Felicity to turn back around. Felicity caught Tommy’s smile as he moved past Donna and toward her.

“A date for the wedding,” Donna answered after Tommy reached Felicity. “Maybe even just a season? It’d make planning a lot easier.”

Felicity sighed, trying to ignore the way Tommy’s lips curled up slightly as Donna spoke.

“I haven’t given it much thought yet,” Felicity said honestly. “Some of us didn’t stay up all night coming up with plans.”

Donna snorted, her laugh low and sweet as she began positioning Tommy and Felicity.

Felicity sighed as Donna half turned her, placing her hands on Tommy’s shoulders before guiding Tommy’s hands to rest on her waist.

“Stay… just like that,” Donna said slowly as she began to step away.

It took all of Felicity’s control to not move, or to make a ridiculous face as Donna began to take pictures.

Anything to distract her from how she was feeling.

But Tommy was staring down at Felicity with such an intensity, eyes half open as his grip tightened on her waist, that Felicity felt paralyzed.

It was easy to forget that she was frustrated with the situation they were in when he looked at her like that.

Even harder when he leaned down to kiss her, his lips soft against hers for the mere seconds the kiss lasted.

“Perfect,” Donna whispered, her voice full of emotion as Tommy and Felicity separated.

Felicity looked down at the ground as she brushed a stray piece of her hair behind her ear. Tommy stepped forward, grabbing onto her hand, patient as he waited for her to look at him.

He smiled at her once she did, squeezing her hand gently as he looked at her. His smile seemed forced, his lips barely moving as he just continued to stare at her.

Maybe he wasn’t as unaffected as she thought.

“I think this location would work well if you guys want to go for a late fall, early winter date. It’ll be miserable during the summer. Maybe an early spring, there might be a little more color available,” Donna said, tilting her head in consideration. “But even early, it’ll be warm.”

“Something to think about,” Tommy said, finally looking away from Felicity. “You said there were two places for us to look at here?”

Donna nodded. “The springs are a couple more miles down the highway. We should drive there.”

“The water could be nice,” Felicity said as they walked back to the car, trying to keep her mind distracted from thinking too hard on what Tommy was thinking. “Liven up the desert a little bit.”

“Yeah,” Tommy agreed, pushing his hands into his pocket. “Water’s good.”

Felicity chewed on the inside of her cheek as Tommy’s pace picked up, watching him as he put more space between them.

“You are going to make such a gorgeous bride,” Donna said, linking her arm with Felicity’s as they walked. “You’ll have to look at those pictures when we get to the car. You in a white dress with that background,” Donna paused, clucking her tongue as she shook her head. “I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle it.”

Felicity laughed, her chest tight as she smiled at Donna’s words. “Well, maybe I’ll decide to just get married in jeans. Save you the emotional trauma.”

Tommy laughed as they approached him, shaking his head. “I don’t know who you think you’d be saving. You’d look just as gorgeous in jeans.”

“Can I see the pictures?” Tommy asked Donna before Felicity could say anything. “I want to be able to rate this location before moving on to the next.”

“Sure,” Donna said, smiling as she handed Tommy her phone. “Let’s go, it won’t take us long to get there.”

Felicity got into the backseat of Donna’s car, leaving the door open for Tommy to follow.

Tommy held the phone up after Donna began driving. He gave her a small smile as he shook the device slightly.

“We could look together?” Tommy offered, sliding his finger along the lock screen.

“Together,” Felicity said with a nod, scooting closer to him as he loaded the first picture.

The pictures were beautiful. Donna had shot at a few different angles, some more zoomed in than the others. Tommy lingered on the images of them kissing.

Felicity couldn’t blame him. They looked amazing.

His hands had moved up from her waist in the last shot, resting on the center of her lower back. It looked like he was pulling her closer, as if he wanted to get rid of the space between them entirely.

Donna had been right. The scenery was gorgeous behind them. The way the white clouds popped in the background against the sky, how the lowering sun shaded the reds of the rocks darker than they had been when they first arrived.

It was easy to see why people would go there to get married. Felicity could almost see the images in her head of what their wedding could look like if were to really happen.

Her chest tightened as she realized she was imagining Tommy looking at her the same way then.

That’s how good he was at pretending to be in love with her.

Felicity reached forward, taking the phone out of Tommy’s hands before turning off the screen and setting it down on the center console next to Donna.

Tommy’s eyes narrowed as he looked at her. “You okay?”

“Fine,” she answered quickly, unable to meet his gaze. “I guess we look pretty okay.”

“Just okay?” Tommy joked, reaching over to touch Felicity’s hand.

Felicity pulled her arm back, wrapping her arms across her stomach. “I mean, you might want to try to look just a little more in love with me on the actual day.”

Felicity had meant for the words to come across jokingly, but as the sound of Tommy sharply inhaling hit her ears, Felicity knew he had heard the bitterness in her words. Felicity looked over then, surprised at the brief flash of sadness that appeared on Tommy’s face.

It was replaced quickly with a charming smile, so smoothly that Felicity wasn’t sure that she hadn’t mistaken the sad expression.

“I’ll have to keep that in mind,” Tommy said, his voice smooth and almost flirty as he began tapping his fingers against his jeans.

“That’s what the dress is for,” Donna added from the front seat. “You won’t be able to believe your eyes.”

“That’s hard to believe,” Tommy said softly, almost too low for Donna to hear. “I can hardly believe them now.”

Felicity ignored the way she could feel Tommy’s eyes linger on her after he spoke.  She kept her eyes focused on the blurring scenery outside, fidgeting uncomfortably as Tommy kept staring at her.

She wasn’t sure what he was waiting for. It wasn’t like he needed approval of what he had said or for her to tell him he was doing a good job. He had to know how well he was doing without her reacting when Donna was paying more attention to the road than them.

Finally, the scenery began to gain focus as Donna began to pull off the highway and into the trail’s parking lot.

Felicity was out of the car, door slamming shut behind her, before she was entirely positive that Donna had even transitioned the car into park.

“Let’s go!” Felicity exclaimed, the pitch of her voice too high, as she started walking toward the signs marking the beginning of the trail without waiting for Tommy or Donna.

She just needed some space, a few moments to herself to gather her thoughts, before she was being posed for more preliminary, test wedding photos. Donna was bound to notice that something was off with her sooner than later if she didn’t get her thoughts under control.

Felicity was almost to the beginning of the trail when she heard the doors to Donna’s car close again. She turned around to see Tommy and Donna standing next to each other, watching her.

“You want to wait for us?” Donna asked, one hand cupped over her forehead to block the sun from her eyes as she looked across the parking lot at Felicity.

“Why don’t I just meet you guys down there?” Felicity offered, already turning around and taking a few more steps forward. “I’ll find the perfect spot.”

Whatever Tommy said in response was lost as Felicity hurried down the path, already too far away to make it out clearly.

 


	10. Chapter 10

Tommy cupped his hand over his eyes, looking for Felicity. He had been following behind Donna since she had taken the lead, carefully avoiding questioning her decisions to go right every time the trail split off.

The sun had dipped lower on the horizon, casting the scenery into deeper shadows over the land. He was almost positive they weren’t going to make it back to the car before sundown. Especially if he couldn’t even spot Felicity yet. The trail was fairly flat; if Felicity was still out of view, he’d be surprised if they made it to her before nightfall.

The desert was different in person than how Tommy had pictured it. He had spent plenty of time in Nevada before between visiting Donna with Felicity. And with Oliver in one of their many attempts to see how far they could push their parents.

But he had never spent much time outside of the city.  He had always pictured the the rest of Nevada to be nothing more than sand, a wasteland.

He hadn't expected the life; the small creatures that scattered the pathway, or the plants that managed to thrive in the dehydrating heat.

It almost seemed fitting that they were out there, planning a future he never believed he would have life either.

Tommy cleared his throat, looking down at the ground. “Are we sure that Felicity went this way?” he asked, looking back up to Donna.

Donna’s steps faltered as she paused, looking back at him with a small shrug. “Not completely. I assumed she was heading to the water and not the canyon lookout. It’s a little high up. She wasn’t a fan of it when she was little.”

“Probably still isn’t,” he agreed, nodding. “Did she, uh, seem a little excited to get away from us?”

Donna smiled sympathetically at Tommy as she turned her head to look at him, leaning against the wooden fence behind her that outlined the trail. “I think I might have overwhelmed her this morning. And then,” she paused, waving her hand in the space in front of her, “all of this… we probably should have gone to the park.”

Tommy continued nodding absently as he looked back down at the ground, fixating on a small crack in the clay. He could tell at the restaurant that Felicity hadn’t wanted to go along with Donna’s plan. He should have done more to try and change Donna’s mind, to convince her to stick with the original plan.

But it had sounded fun. Planning his wedding to Felicity.

Forgetting that it wasn’t a wedding that was likely to happen was a lot easier when he was immersed in ideas of how it could.

He hadn’t meant to make the situation worse for Felicity.

He hadn't meant to make any of her situations _worse_.  

He had hoped that he wasn't; that him offering to come with her and everything that had happened between them after hadn't been too much.

But he wasn't sure. He assumed that their friendship was strong enough that Felicity would put a stop to things if they weren't what she wanted. And she hadn't.

It provided the small sliver of hope he had pushing him to tell her the truth before it was too late.

Felicity had wanted to talk to him before breakfast. But he had pushed it off, already planning what he was going to say to Oliver.

He hadn't been ready. He needed more time to plan the conversation. To figure out how he was going to tell her how he felt, how he _really_ felt. He wanted it to be perfect.

He needed it to be perfect.

He had never considered what waiting and leaving her in the dark would do.

She had been different during breakfast. Whatever she and Donna had talked about was obviously bothering her. And then he went full speed ahead on playing along with Donna. He should have known it would be too much for Felicity.

He was her best friend before anything. He knew she wouldn't be okay with any of this.

And he pushed her anyway.

They needed to find her. He needed to tell her.

That he was sorry.

That he was in love with her.

That he didn't want to pretend that he wasn't anymore.

He needed to know if she felt the same way. And if she didn't, he needed to learn how to live with that truth.

He could still do that.

“You make her happy, you know,” Donna said, squeezing Tommy's arm as she pulled his attention from his thoughts.

“Don't let all of this,” Donna continued, waving her hand through the air, “make you think that you don’t.”

“I wasn’t--” Tommy started, following his gut reaction to pretend that he was fine.

“Don't,” Donna stated simply, giving Tommy a tight smile. “You think about as loud as my daughter does.”

Tommy blushed, raising his arm to awkwardly scratch at his neck. He hadn't expected Donna to pick up on his emotions.

Donna and Felicity had numerous differences. Anyone who spent more than five minutes in the same room as them could probably fill a book with them. But the similarities they shared… they were breathtaking.

Donna gave him another smile, pushing off from the fence as she continued down the trail.

“We should reach her soon,” Donna pointed out a few minutes later. “Hopefully anyway. We’ll probably need to order pizza on our way home. It’s getting late.”

“Yeah,” Tommy agreed quietly, nodding quickly as he followed behind Donna.

Home.

Tommy remembered what it was like to have a home.

He had a home before Rebecca died. It was never perfect, but it was his and he didn't cherish it enough.

After Rebecca’s death, Tommy realized quickly that it was the people that made a home.

He lived in the same house after Rebecca’s death until he left for college. But there was never a moment without her that made the house feel like home.

His home wasn't with Malcolm.

The Queens had always welcomed him into their house. They were how he knew what it was like to be comfortable in someone else’s home.

But it wasn't quite the same.

He always had to leave at some point. Go back to the house that was supposed to be home.

When he met Felicity, he had spent two years trying to make a fraternity his home.

He had never thought about how easily he fell into being home around Felicity then. It was easy to stay at her apartment, staying up to watch movies or study.

Donna had the same skill. Every time he came with Felicity to visit, he never felt like Donna was waiting for them to leave. Waiting until he wouldn't be in her daughter's life anymore.

He felt at home.

It was easy for him to imagine that one day he wouldn't just _feel_ at home anymore.

It could just _be_ home.

“There she is,” Donna said, pointing at where Felicity was standing in the distance.

Tommy looked up, his breath catching as he saw Felicity. The sun was almost completely down, barely hovering over the horizon, painting the world in an orange haze. She was standing at the center of the bridge, leaning over the rail slightly as she stared down at the slow moving water.

She was far enough away that it was difficult to make out her features in the quickly disappearing light, the outline of her body more of a shadow against the scenery.

“Yeah,” Tommy exhaled, sliding his hands into the front pockets of his jeans, “there she is.”

“Why don’t you go down?” Donna offered as she stopped walking. “I think the best pictures are going to come from a distance here.”

Tommy nodded, continuing toward Felicity.

Felicity turned her head to the side, parallel with the bridge rail, once Tommy stepped onto the bridge. Her eyes were barely open as she looked at him, the smile on her face tight as she waited for him to reach her.

“Hey,” Tommy said, mimicking Felicity’s position as he looked out over the water. “Enjoying the view?”

“It’s a nice view,” Felicity responded, her fingers tapping against the wood. “Bit of a far walk for for a wedding though.”

Tommy took a deep breath, his eyes remaining on the dark water as he responded. “Good reason to keep it small then.”

Felicity hummed softly, her shoulder brushing against his. “We could always have a big reception.”

Tommy looked away from the water and toward Felicity then, surprised to see Felicity looking at him. “I have been known to throw a decent party before.”

Felicity gave a small shrug, her lips turning up. “I’ve heard they are okay.”

“Are we?” Tommy asked, his voice low, his gaze briefly dropping to her hand on the bridge. He raised his eyes to look at her again, steadily maintaining eye contact before clarifying his question. “Are we okay?”

Felicity didn’t answer right away.

Instead she sighed, shutting her eyes, her head barely moving in an imperceptible nod. Her eyelashes were dark against her skin as she stilled, pressing her lips together.

She didn’t need to tell him they weren’t okay, her body was doing all of the talking for her. From the way she kept her eyes closed, to the way she had removed her hand from the rail to rest it over her stomach.

She opened her eyes then, her gaze unfocused as she looked at everything around his face, but never directly at him.

He knew they weren’t okay.

He still waited for her to answer.

“Yeah,” Felicity finally said, her voice almost audibly cracking on the word. “Why wouldn’t we be?”

Tommy’s blood rushed, his skin heating at Felicity’s confirmation.

It wasn’t like Felicity to filter her emotions by lying.

Especially from him.

“We should probably,” Felicity continued, finally looking directly at him, “turn around so my mom can take some pictures? We should have already left.”

“I’d rather talk to you,” Tommy admitted, his voice harsher than he had meant. “I’m your best friend, Felicity. When did you think you could start lying to me and I wouldn’t notice?”

Felicity inhaled sharply, causing Tommy to pause as he looked at her.

She looked confused and hurt.

Everything he wanted to avoid.

“I’m sorry--I didn’t, I don’t…” Tommy stumbled, taking a breath as he regrouped his thoughts. “You don’t need to lie to me. I’m half of this friendship. I know that we need to talk and that things… they aren’t okay. I made this so much more complicated than it needed to be, and I’m sorry--”

“Tommy,” Felicity reached forward, sliding her hand over Tommy’s. “Stop. You’re right, things aren’t okay. Things are a little weird. I don’t know why I didn’t just say that.”

Felicity squeezed Tommy’s hands, turning so that she was facing him, her free hand resting against his side. “But you don’t get to apologize for complicating this. You didn’t complicate anything. I’ve agreed to all of this. If anything, I should be apologizing to you for even putting you in this situation. If I had just told my mom about Mike--”

Tommy stiffened, unconsciously clutching Felicity’s hand tighter. If she had just told Donna about Mike, they would have never been put in this position. They probably never would have kissed.

He might have one day reached a point where he would have told her about his feelings.

But even then… even to himself… he wasn’t sure he would have. It wasn’t like his feelings for her were new. They had been there, ignored, for awhile.

He would have missed it all.

“But the proposal,” he offered, shaking his head. “That was me complicating--”

“That was you making a joke and my mom’s bad timing colliding,” Felicity said understandingly. “That wasn’t you deliberately trying to complicate things.”

“Still I--” Tommy started, laughing under his breath as Felicity talked over him.

“Unless you already got the marriage certificate?” Felicity teased, her eyes playful as she poked her fingers against his side. “Then maybe you complicated things.”

“We are marriage certificate free,” Tommy confirmed, relieved that she wasn’t mad at him for what had happened.

“You two almost done?” Donna asked, shouting across the distance between them. “We’re already late on lighting the candles.”

“What about pictures?” Felicity asked, leaning around Tommy to look at her mom.

Tommy moved out of her way, turning around to stand next to Felicity. He watched as Donna waved her phone in the air, as if that was answering Felicity’s question.

“What do you think I’ve been doing while you two talked?” Donna asked, shaking her head. “I’ll meet you two at the car.”

Felicity nodded, turning to look at Tommy. “Let’s go home.”

“But what about--”

“We can finish talking later,” Felicity interrupted, tugging on his hand as she began to follow Donna.

Tommy stayed still, his arm stretching as Felicity kept walking.

He didn’t want to go home. He wanted to finish talking. He needed to tell her the truth while he had the courage.

Before enough time passed and he managed to talk himself out of it again.

“Tommy,” Felicity said, her fingers barely holding on to his as she turned around enough to look at him. “Let’s just go home.”

\---

A half-finished slice of pizza remained on Tommy’s plate, which was carefully balanced on his knee. It was the only thing stopping him from bouncing his knee in an attempt to get rid of some of the nerves that had been building up the longer Felicity pushed off their conversation.

They had gotten back to the apartment with pizza long after nightfall.

He had offered to drop Donna and Felicity off at the apartment and go pick up food, trying to get them home sooner than later so they wouldn’t be too late to light the menorah.

Well, much later than they already were.

Donna had laughed, shaking her head in amusement before telling story after story of the numerous times she and Felicity had managed to run late.

It made more sense with each story, both of them too likely to be pulled into their own world to notice the time passing by.

Felicity was unusually quiet as they left the park, making nothing more than occasional agreeing sounds as Donna talked. She stayed in the car while Tommy and Donna went inside to get pizza, her face tilted down at her phone.

Tommy knew he was overly focused on and more aware of Felicity's feelings than usual. He was worried that the small amount of peace they had found at the bridge wasn't going to last.

Felicity had joined in on the stories once he and Donna got back to the car. She was smiling and laughing along with Donna, adding her own commentary to the events.

Now, she was sitting on the opposite side of the couch, her legs curled under herself as she watched the candles in the menorah burn. The wine glass in her hand had been almost empty for the last twenty minutes.

“I could get you more,” Tommy offered, pointing at Felicity's glass when she gave him a questioning look.

“Oh,” she started, smiling quickly before finishing the drink. “I'm fine. I'll probably just fall asleep if I have more anyway.”

“Sun get to you?” Tommy asked, his gaze moving from Felicity to the candles burning behind her.

He was almost surprised that they hadn't gone out yet, given how long they had been burning.

“Don't try to pretend like it didn't get to you either,” Felicity teased, yawning as she leaned her head back against the couch. “I saw you almost falling asleep in the car.”

“I run a nightclub,” Tommy defended, holding his plate off his knee before standing up. “I don't go outside during daylight hours very often. What's your excuse?”

“I work in IT. What's sunlight again?” Felicity said with a laugh, her eyes steady on Tommy as he stood in front of her.

Tommy shook his head, taking her glass. “A myth, apparently.”

“We both lasted longer than my mom at least,” Felicity pointed out as Tommy walked into the kitchen.

He ran water over the plates before setting them down, patting his hands against his jeans as he walked back into the living room.

He leaned back against the wall, his arms crossing low on his stomach.

“Are we allowed to blow them out?” Tommy asked after a minute, nodding toward the candles.

“We could,” Felicity answered. “It's been half an hour and it isn't Friday.”

“You should go to bed,” Felicity continued, turning to look at him instead of the candles. “I don't mind waiting for them to go out.”

Tommy didn't respond, unsure of how to start the conversation he had been waiting to have since they got home.

He had expected Felicity to continue it. After all, she had been the one who had wanted to talk earlier. Now, talking seemed to be the last thing she wanted to do.

Donna had gone to bed just after she had finished eating, pointing out that she had an early shift tomorrow.

Tommy had waited then, assuming that Felicity would start talking, to fill the silence. When she hadn’t, Tommy wasn’t sure where to begin.

How exactly was the conversation supposed to start? Was he supposed to just blurt out that he was _actually_ in love with her? Work up to it with a long and thoughtful explanation?

Maybe he should just wait, take the night to plan a speech. Or at least plan a beginning to a speech.

Felicity deserved a good speech.

She also deserved the truth.

“Shouldn’t we--” Tommy began, clearing his throat while he looked down at the ground. He waited, inhaling sharply as he tried to find what he wanted to say. His mind blanked as his nerves grew. “Shouldn’t we finish talking?”

“With my mom in the other room?” Felicity asked pointedly, shaking her head. “It can wait.”

“Felicity--”

“Tommy,” Felicity sighed, reaching up to brush a strand of hair out of her face. “We have the apartment to ourselves tomorrow. There’s no reason to risk her overhearing any of this. Okay? Just go to bed. Everything will be fine.”

“Why don’t you come with me?” Tommy asked irritably, pushing off of the wall. “We can talk in our room.”

“I’m tired,” Felicity said simply, moving on the couch until her knees were pulled up in front of her, her hands loosely intertwined at the front of her legs. “There’s no reason it can’t wait until the morning. Is there?”

Other than the fact that waiting just gave Tommy more time to overthink the conversation. To come up with more excuses on why it could in fact wait.

That maybe it was a conversation they didn’t need to have at all.

It was already getting harder to stop himself from thinking that Felicity’s new desire to avoid speaking to him wasn’t because she was trying to find a way to let him down easy.

He didn’t want to wait anymore.

“I guess not,” Tommy said sarcastically, his voice gruff. “I’ll just be in there if you change your mind and want to talk.”

Tommy waited for Felicity to look at him, to tell him to stay and start talking.

She didn’t.

\---

Felicity watched as the only remaining candle’s light finally extinguished. The smoke wisped across the room briefly before disappearing completely, leaving Felicity in the dark.

She hadn’t meant to push Tommy away.

She knew that they needed to talk. Ignoring what was going on between them was no longer an option. But the idea of talking to him about her feelings terrified her.

She needed more time to prepare. To find new, convincing ways to come across less emotional. Maybe to practice a good poker face for when he started explaining that while he loved her as a friend, he didn’t want more.

The longer they went without talking, she realized, the longer she could pretend that nothing was going to change. She could keep touching him, kissing him, if they didn’t talk.

She wasn’t sure she wanted to know the truth.

Felicity sighed as she stood up from the couch, walking over to the menorah. She ran her fingers over the cooled wax, scrunching her nose as the wax stuck against the menorah.

Donna had always been terrible at remembering to put cooking spray on the menorah at the beginning of Hanukkah.

Cleaning the menorah had been one of her favorite activities when she was a kid. It was a calming activity, one that often brought her a sense of peace as she worked to remove the more stubborn patches of wax.

A peace she could use.

But one that would have to wait. Generally, if the menorah was cleaned at all, it wasn’t until after the last night of Hanukkah.

Staying up to clean the menorah early was something that would make Donna ask questions. Ones that Felicity didn’t want to worry about.

Her mom had already surprised her by bringing up her dad at breakfast. The last thing she needed was another annoyingly accurate and on-point conversation with her mother.

Which meant that she needed to go to sleep.

Felicity hesitated as she reached the bedroom door, her fingers brushing against the doorknob, unsure of whether to open it. She glanced at the bathroom, debating taking a shower.

Another obvious delay, showering at night wasn’t an easy task with her hair. Even Tommy would see through it.

Plus the noise from the shower ran the risk of Tommy waking up.

He hadn’t been happy with her decision to postpone talking. While he gave in then, Felicity knew he wouldn’t again.

She opened the door slowly, quietly walking into the room. She kept her gaze on the ground as the door shut. She undressed quickly, changing into the kiss me pajamas that she had pulled out that morning.

“Is that an invitation?” Tommy asked.

“Tommy!” Felicity exclaimed, her voice sharp as she covered her heart with a hand. Her skin warmed, turning red, as she realized he had been lying in bed quietly just watching her change.

It felt too intimate.

“I didn’t know you were awake,” she continued, tugging at the edges of her tanktop.

“Would you have come in if you had known?” Tommy asked, his eyes narrow and accusing as he looked at her.

“That’s not--” Felicity sighed, closing her eyes. “Tommy, that isn’t fair.”

“And you sending me to bed because you didn't want to talk was fair?”

“Are you five,” Felicity snapped, glaring at Tommy. “I sent you to bed? You're an adult. You chose to come in here.”

“Because you--”

“And sure,” Felicity continued, ignoring Tommy. “I don't want to talk right now. I'm tired. I've done a lot of talking that I didn't want to do today.”

Felicity paused, shaking her head as she rested her hands against her hips. “I wanted to talk this morning. You didn't want to then--”

“I know, but--”

“No,” Felicity sighed. “You don't get to demand and chose when we talk.”

Felicity pulled down at the corner of the blanket, refusing to let herself get distracted by the sight of Tommy shirtless. She laid down, rolling away from him, her body tense as she carefully hugged the edge of the bed.

“Can we just sleep?” Felicity asked as she wrapped an arm around her stomach, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Yeah,” Tommy answered after a moment, his breath ghosting over skin as he moved behind her; his arm hovered over hers. “Can I--”

Felicity nodded, moving back against him as his arm lowered, his hand pressing against her skin.

“I don’t like this,” Felicity admitted, her body relaxing as Tommy drew small circles against her arm. “Fighting with you.”

“I don’t either,” Tommy said, his fingers tapping against her skin. “We don't have to talk until you're ready. I'm sorry. I just… I feel like I'm going to lose you.”

Felicity shook her head, turning over so that she was facing Tommy. “You are not going to lose me.”

Felicity kept her gaze steady with Tommy’s, her heart picking up pace as she tried to block out the sudden rush of thoughts that opposed her statement.

He could lose her.

She could lose him.

She had already been down this road. It was why she didn't want to talk anymore.

Not until she truly believed she could go back to being just friends with him.

And right then, with Tommy’s fingers slipping under her shirt, his skin warm against her own… Felicity didn't think she could.

She wasn't positive he wanted to either.

But that didn't mean she wasn't going to fight like hell to keep it from happening.

Maybe if they never talked, if they came to some silent agreement to just move on, things would stay the same.

It was an illogical and impractical thought. Felicity knew that.

But one she needed.

“You're stuck with me, Tommy.”

“Promise?” Tommy asked quietly.

Felicity nodded, making a cross in the small space between them. “Cross my heart.”

Tommy’s relief was palpable as he relaxed against her, smiling brightly as he closed his eyes.

For a moment, Felicity wondered what would happen if she just said it. No presentation, no babbling explanation why. Just--

_I love you_.

“Good night,” Felicity whispered instead, resting her head on Tommy’s chest.

While she knew that Tommy responded by saying good night, she was close enough to sleep that it was easy for her to believe that he hadn't.

That the words she had heard could have been _I love you too._

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that it has taken me more than awhile to update this. Work and school have been super crazy. I never meant for it to take this long though. Hopefully this chapter makes up for it. Even just a little bit.
> 
> This chapter never would have seen the light of day without Abbie, always_a_queen, or StoriesOfImagination. They are the absolute best. Thank you guys for all the cheering, helping and hand holding. I have no idea how I got so lucky.

Felicity woke up first.

Tommy was warm behind her, his breathing deep and steady as he pulled her closer. Her body reacted instantly, stretching slightly as she pressed against him. Her brain was still foggy, trying hard to cling to sleep.

Tommy hummed, his lips pressing against Felicity’s neck.

She really woke up then, eyes completely open. Her body protested every move she made as she removed Tommy’s arms, pulling away from him until she was sitting at the edge of the bed.

A quick glance at her cell phone told her it was too early to be awake. She could just as easily curl back around Tommy, pretend for just a little bit longer that things between them were okay.

But she didn’t want to pretend anymore.

And as much as she wanted things between them to become something _more_ , she didn’t want to risk it. She didn’t want things to change between them.

All she wanted was to find a way out of the mess they had made. A way that allowed them to continue being friends.

If she was honest, she wanted to find a way for them to be together.

Until she found a way to be okay with the end result being just friends, she wasn’t sure she was going to be ready to talk to him about the situation.

She wasn’t sure it was a conversation she was capable of getting through unharmed.

Which meant she had to get out of bed and leave before he woke up.

While all she wanted to do was keep pretending, to slide back into bed and curl up next to him… she knew she couldn’t.

It was a solace she had to distance herself from. One that wasn’t hers to keep.

The peace Tommy had granted her last night wasn’t going to last, Tommy was going to keep pushing.

Whether or not she was ready, _he_ was.

She noticed it yesterday when he showed up at breakfast. He had made his mind up about something: them, she had guessed. And the more he pushed her to talk, the clearer it became that she didn’t want to know what he thought or what he had decided.

Knowing was too risky.

She was going to get what she wanted, or lose everything.

She stood from the bed, moving around the room quietly as she gathered clothes. She had just gotten to the door, her fingers brushing over the doorknob when she heard Tommy.

“Running away already?”

Felicity sighed, trying to ignore the way his voice sounded bitter.

It wasn’t fair.

“I was just going to take a shower,” Felicity explained, her grasp tightening on the doorknob. “Maybe go for a run.”

“A run?” Tommy asked, laughing under his breath. “And then what?”

“And then,” Felicity groaned, turning around to glare at him. “And then, I don’t know. Maybe catch up on some work.”

“You’re avoiding me.”

Felicity didn’t want to deny it, but she didn’t want to lie to him either. Her fingers played with the fabric in her hands as she tried to think of what to say; longing for a time when she didn’t have to think so much before speaking.

Biting down on the inside of her lip, Felicity shook her head, her mind still blank.

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” she quietly admitted.

Tommy sat up slowly, the blanket dropping down to his waist before he pulled it off. He moved to the edge of the bed, his elbows resting on his knees as he looked at her.

Felicity leaned back against the door, quietly standing as she watched Tommy study her. She couldn’t decipher what he was trying to find, his face emotionless as his gaze finally dropped to the floor.

He remained silent, twisting his fingers between his knees.

“The truth?” He wondered, briefly making eye contact with her before going back to stare at his hands.

“You said we didn’t have to talk, Tommy.”

“We don’t,” Tommy shrugged, folding his hands together. “I still think we should.”

Felicity opened her mouth, frustrated when nothing came out.

She walked over to the dresser instead, placing the clothes she was holding on top of it. Her fingers drummed against the surface, her head tilting to the side.

“So talk,” she said simply, her back turned to him.

“Can you at least look at me?”

Felicity nodded, turning around, backing up until the handle of the drawer was pressed almost uncomfortably against her back.

Felicity waited for Tommy to start talking, to give her an idea of the direction he was planning on taking the conversation. Anything, so that she could frame her thoughts.

To begin imagining, and preparing for, the worst case scenario.

Only he didn’t.

“I’m not,” Felicity started, loosely wrapping her arms around her stomach. “I’m not _trying_ to avoid you.”

“You just are?” Tommy shot back, his voice painfully sarcastic.

“Clearly not,” Felicity argued, lifting her eyebrows as she looked at him. “Or I would be in the shower right now.”

Tommy tensed, standing slowly from the bed. “If you don’t want to talk--”

“Everything changes if we talk,” Felicity snapped, barely catching herself from stepping toward Tommy for comfort.

She tightened the grasp on her arms, digging her nails into her skin as she held herself back. “And I'm not ready for that.”

“What's so wrong with change?” Tommy asked, taking a small step toward Felicity. “Change doesn't have to be a bad thing.”

“No,” Felicity answered, her voice shaky. Her palms were damp with sweat as she wiped them along her shirt. She pressed her heels further back against the dresser while Tommy took another step forward. “It doesn't _have_ to be a bad thing.”

Felicity let the _but it will_ response linger in her head, her eyes dropping to the ground. She watched as Tommy’s feet came slowly into view.

She kept her eyes low, her breaths shallow as Tommy ran his hands over the upper parts of her arms.

Felicity shivered, shrugging away from his touch.

She didn’t need him comforting her.

Or distracting her.

“Why are you so afraid?” Tommy asked, stepping back from her, his hands falling to his side.

_Because I'm going to lose you._

Felicity remained silent, the thought loudly repeating in her head as she looked up at Tommy.

“I can't… Felicity I don't know what you expect me to do if you can't give me anything.”

“I don't expect you to do anything, Tommy,” Felicity argued, narrowing her eyes. She stepped forward, doing her best to ignore the way her body brushed against Tommy’s as the distance between them got smaller. “This isn’t something you can just fix.”

“So you’re admitting there is a problem?”

“Of course there is,” Felicity snapped, uncrossing her arms as she rolled her eyes. “We don’t fight. We don’t keep things from each other. This doesn’t happen to us.”

“Then tell me why you won’t talk to me,” Tommy

“I already did,” Felicity sighed in frustration, tugging a strand of hair behind her ear. “If we talk, things change. Things change between us. No matter what, Tommy. It doesn’t matter what you say or what we decide. Something will change. _Everything_ could change. And I’m not--” Felicity paused, inhaling sharply. “I’m not ready for that. And I don’t know why you have to keep pushing me to be.”

“Things change, Felicity, things always change. That’s just… that’s life. That doesn’t mean that--”

“Yeah, things change. People leave,” Felicity scoffed. “People always leave.”

He took another step back.

The step was small, barely perceptible. But it was all the confirmation she needed. He was backing away from her, already ready to run.

He looked hurt; eyes wide and eyebrows drawn together.

She didn’t _want_ to hurt him.

But she couldn’t make his pain her problem.

“I need to shower,” Felicity said quickly, shaking her head as Tommy began to open his mouth.

He took another step back as she moved past him. She didn’t hesitate or give Tommy a chance to say anything as she walked away, the door dividing them as it closed.

She shut the door to the bathroom after she stepped in.

She turned the lock slowly, her fingers tapping against the knob before she removed her hand.

Felicity had never felt like she needed to lock the bathroom door when Tommy was over before.

Nothing was going right.

Felicity’s stomach brushed against the sink counter as she walked toward the shower. The bathroom was the same size as every bathroom she and Donna had shared when she growing up, but it felt too small as she turned the water on, bending down to test the water temperature against her wrist.

She straightened once she was satisfied with the warmth, walking back to the sink. She stared at her reflection, her fingers tapping against the countertop. She sighed as she took in the smudged makeup under her eyes, flakes of dried mascara bunched in the corners.

Pulling open the second drawer, Felicity blindly reached down to grab a washcloth. Instead, her fingers hit a box.

Felicity pulled her hand away, glancing down. Her stomach dropped as she stared at the box of condoms front and center.

She pushed the box out of the way, pulling out a washcloth from the pile underneath it.

She didn’t want to think about her mother deciding that Felicity needed a reminder to have safe sex, let alone actually deciding to _buy_ her condoms.

It was something Donna would have done when Felicity was in high school.

She didn’t need them then.

It wasn’t like she was going to need them now.

\---

_People always leave._

Felicity’s words repeated in Tommy’s head. Loud and clear as he watched her leave. Continuing as he opened the drawer she had been backed against, pulling out a shirt.

Felicity thought he was going to leave her?

Felicity thought he was _capable_ of doing that?

The idea itself was absurd. The fact that Felicity could even think...  it hurt.

She had to know that he wasn’t going anywhere.

That he needed their friendship. He needed _her_.

How was he supposed to tell her he was in love with her, if he couldn’t even get her to believe he wasn’t going to leave her?

He pulled the t-shirt over his head, tugging it down as he glanced back up at the door.

The sound of water running hit him like ice.

They were going to talk. He would make sure Felicity knew he wasn’t going anywhere. That first and foremost he was her friend. Nothing could take that away from them.

Nothing would change that.

It was a conversation they had already had. Numerous times. Repeatedly.

He had the content memorized.

He wasn’t sure how he was going to get her to _believe_ it. Or if it was fair that he was this frustrated at her for thinking the same thoughts as him.

He was just as scared of losing her.

The only difference was that he was hoping that talking would bring them closer together. That it would be the push they both needed to move their relationship forward.

For the first time, he wasn’t terrified about admitting his feelings to her.

He sat back down on the edge of the bed, his fingers tapping against the mattress.

He needed a plan.

He needed a plan that went further than storming into the bathroom and to begin listing all of the reasons why he was never going to not be a part of Felicity’s life.

Number one being he was in love with her.

He should have told her sooner.

The timing had never felt right. But now… he could think of a thousand different times where he could have brought up his feelings. All of which would have been better than while Felicity was showering as a way to avoid him.

He had just been scared.

He was on number thirty-three when he heard the shower turn off, the door opening soon after.

Tommy looked up, watching as Felicity walked back into the room, her hair was still dry as it moved against her bare shoulders. The towel she held against her body was too small, the sides barely meeting. Small drops of water ran down her skin, leaving thin trails down the side of her neck, until they reached the barricade of her towel.

It was distracting. How easy it was for him to get lost in his imagination of all the things he would rather do to her than the things he should be saying to her.

“That was fast,” Tommy said, his voice rough as he nodded to her.

“I forgot my--”

“I’m not going to leave you,” Tommy interrupted, standing from the bed. “If that’s what you are afraid of… Felicity.”

Tommy paused, waiting until Felicity met his gaze to continue. “Never. You never have to worry about that.”

“But what if--”

“No,” Tommy said softly. “Felicity, our friendship… that’s not going anywhere.”

Felicity shook her head, moving past Tommy and toward the dresser. “Until our friendship changes, right? That’s what I’m afraid of Tommy. Our friendship… morphing until it’s unrecognizable. Until it’s just gone.”

“How--” Tommy started, confused as he stepped closer to Felicity. He placed his hand on her elbow, waiting until she turned around. “Our friendship could never be unrecognizable.”

“Hasn’t it though?” Felicity asked, her voice almost sad as she looked up at him. “Friends don’t do this, Tommy. We don’t do this.”

“Do you have a list somewhere of things friends aren’t allowed to do?” Tommy asked bitterly. “I wouldn’t mind a copy.”

Felicity’s stance changed as he spoke; she stood straighter, tilting her head up, her eyes darkening.

She stepped forward, forcing Tommy to take a step back, and another until his legs were pushed against the bed.

“Do friends,” Felicity started, her voice low as she pressed her body against his, “do this?”

Tommy didn’t have time to wonder what Felicity had meant before she was kissing him.

Tommy reacted instantly, dropping his hands to her waist, the material of her towel rough against his fingers.

Felicity stepped closer, her feet brushing against his as she deepened the kiss. She ran her hands up his chest, before wrapping them around his neck.

The top of Felicity’s towel slipped with her movement, folding over the top of his hand. Tommy smiled against her lips, grabbing onto the towel before it fell.

Tommy skimmed his thumb over the exposed section of her hip.

“So, do they?” Felicity asked steadily as she pulled away from him, her fingers running down the sides of his neck before reaching his arms.

“What?” Tommy asked, his tongue darting out to wet his lips as he opened his eyes.

“Do friends kiss?” Felicity asked with a small laugh.

“Maybe,” Tommy answered, his brain slowly connecting what Felicity was trying to do. “We do. Pretty well, if you ask me.”

“That’s not--” Felicity shook her head, pursing her lips. “That’s not what I asked.”

“You asked if friends kissed,” Tommy said, shaking his head. “Are we not friends?”

“You’re not supposed to use a test subject as a basis for normal behavior,” Felicity argued, her eyebrows furrowed. “What we do is--”

“Do friends do this?” Tommy interrupted, lowering his head to place open-mouthed kisses along her collarbone, and up the curve of her neck.

He lightly bit down on her skin, enjoying the sharp intake of Felicity’s breath before she said his name, the way her fingers curled into his shirt.

“They, uh, friends could--” Felicity stuttered as Tommy pulled away, her gaze unfocused.

“Yeah?” Tommy asked, brushing his thumb over Felicity’s jaw, dragging it over her lips.

“Nothing,” Tommy said. “Nothing we do could ever change us being friends. That’s something… that’s set in stone.”

Felicity slowly nodded, turning her head into Tommy’s touch. “What else do friends do?” she asked, her tone faking innocence as she lowered her hands, twisting her fingers into the fabric of his shirt.

“Let’s find out,” Tommy responded, kissing her as he let go of the edges of the towel.

“Okay,” Felicity said as she stepped back, doing nothing to stop the towel from falling from her. “Let's find out.”

Tommy barely noticed the damp towel landing on his feet, his attention fully on Felicity.

It wasn't the first time he had seen her undressed. He had been too distracted last time to fully appreciate her body, intent on staying focused on pleasing her. He had wanted to take his time, to learn her body and what she wanted… what she needed.

At first, he had been sure that it would be the only time he would see her like this. He had wanted to memorize the way her body looked, the way she reacted to him. But then he got lost in the way she was reacting to him, the different ways she said his name depending on what he was doing.

Now, he focused on the drops of water that ran down her chest, the way her skin turned pink under his gaze.

Another image he needed to commit to memory.

She was beautiful.

“You're very dressed,” Felicity whispered, her eyes playful as she pulled his shirt up.

“I don't need to be undressed for my plans,” Tommy said, his voice dropping as he remembered the way Felicity had sounded the other morning; the way she had tasted against his tongue as she gasped his name.

It was a sound he was desperate to hear again. One he would hear again, if Felicity would stop worrying about him.

Still, he didn't fight her as she finished lifting his shirt. He shrugged it off the rest of the way, letting it fall on top of her towel.

“You have plans?” Felicity teased, her eyes darkening.

She ran her hands up his chest, her fingers teasingly running over his nipples. She pushed her hands against his chest, continuing until he sat down on the bed.

“I do,” Tommy said, while Felicity moved her hands to his shoulders. Using him for balance, Felicity climbed onto the bed, her knees falling to his sides. “Plans you are distracting me from.”

Felicity smiled, her nose brushing Tommy’s.

“And I bet these plans,” Felicity started, before leaving a trail of kisses from his cheek down to his neck, “Don’t involve you.”

“That’s not--I’m involved in them,” Tommy tried to argue, slightly annoyed by how Felicity was taking control.

Annoyance that didn’t last long after Felicity bit down on his neck, her tongue running over the sensitive skin.

He could practically hear her challenging him as she moved her mouth further down his neck, repeating her actions.

“Felicity,” Tommy said, his voice gruff as her teeth slid along his collarbone. “You’d like my plans.”

“I’m sure I would,” Felicity admitted, dragging her nails down his chest. “But did you ever think that maybe I had plans of my own?”

Tommy blinked.

He hadn’t thought of that.

“Plans which may include finding out what makes you squirm,” Felicity teased, her breath warm against his skin. She let her hand fall down to his lap, her fingers barely grazing over his pants. “How you feel…”

“What you taste like,” Felicity said as she sat up straighter, her fingers pressing harder against his pants, tracing his erection.

Tommy was breathing heavily by the time Felicity looked back up at him, his fingers curled into the bedsheet.

Tommy uncurled his fingers, moving one hand to Felicity’s lower back as he kissed her. The other fell in between them, cupping her sex. He ran his tongue along her lips as he flicked his finger over her clit.

Felicity responded to him with ease, her mouth opening as she moaned. Her hand momentarily stilled against him, her legs attempting to squeeze together against his sides. Felicity pushed against him, rotating her hips, pressing herself harder against him.

Tommy smiled smugly, breaking the kiss. He moved his hand, preparing to turn them around in an attempt to regain control.

To move his plans forward.

Only Felicity pushed him away, her chest heaving as she caught her breath. She placed her feet on the ground, her hands resting on his knees as she shook her head.

“Clothes,” she whispered, her voice sharp. “Off.”

“Bossy,” Tommy said, playfully shaking his head as he stood. He pushed down at the edges of his pants, carefully stepping out of them.

He wasn't self conscious about his body. But standing there as Felicity just stared at him… her eyes slowly moving down his body.

He felt nervous.

“Like I said, I have my own plan.” Felicity explained with a small shrug, her gaze following her hand as she ran it down his stomach, along his hip bone.

Finally, she ran her fingers along his cock. She smiled as it twitched under her touch.

“You already got to drive me crazy with your mouth.” Felicity raised her gaze to meet his as she spoke. “Maybe I want to know that I can drive you just as crazy.”

Tommy’s heart skipped at her words.

A part of him wanted to just tell her that she could. The same part of him that struggled to understand how she didn't just _know_ the effect she had on him.

The other part of him understood though. He knew how that particular need felt. Because even with everything that had happened between them…

He still felt it.

“Then, first, shouldn't we figure out just how crazy I can drive you?” He asked, resting his hands low on her hips.

He didn't give her time to respond before he kissed her, using it as a distraction to turn them around.

Felicity laughed, shaking her head as she broke the kiss. She glared at him, moving her head to kiss his jaw, down to his throat.

She stepped back, carefully keeping her balance as she climbed back onto the bed.

“I think we’ve already got a pretty good idea of that,” Felicity whispered as Tommy stepped closer to the bed.

“And now,” Felicity continued as Tommy followed her onto the bed. “It’s my turn.”

Tommy shook his head, his hands resting on her hips as he tried to kiss her again. Felicity dodged the kiss, shaking her head.

“I think I can do better,” Tommy explained, watching Felicity blush, her eyelashes dark against her skin as she closed her eyes. “I want to find out.”

“And you can,” Felicity said, eyes opening as she looked up at him. “We don’t have to rush this, Tommy. I’m not planning on running out the door in the next five minutes, are you?”

“I’m not, no.”

“Good.” Felicity smiled, tilting her head up. “Then let me have my turn.”

Tommy smiled as she kissed him, her nose brushing against his as she moved closer to him.

Tommy’s grip on her hips tightened after she deepened the kiss. Her fingers ran along his collarbone, following the curve of his shoulder and over to his chest. She broke the kiss, moving her lips down his neck to his collarbone, following the path her fingers had taken.

A path Tommy hoped she was planning to continue as her fingers ran up his thigh, brushing the side of his cock.  Her tongue ran down his chest while she cupped one hand around his length, pumping him as she closed her mouth over his nipple, sucking softly. Her other hand remained on his chest, her fingers lightly pressing into his skin.

“Felicity,” he whispered, dragging his thumb along her hip.

Felicity smiled as she shook her head, pressing the hand on his chest down.

Tommy knew she was trying to get him to lay down. A part of him wanted to listen, the part of him that was attuned to her hand that was teasing him, pumping him at an almost frustratingly slow speed. Her thumb moved over the head of his penis, spreading the drops of precome that had collected there.

But the other part of him didn't care about his pleasure. Didn't care that Felicity was proving capable of driving him crazy with only one hand. He wanted to be the one making her squirm. He _needed_ to be the one making her cry out his name.

He was ready to try again to turn the tables, his hand travelling down to her center, his fingers ready to mimic her actions when she pulled away.

Her hand dropped from his erection, the heat and friction immediately missed as his hips thrust forward searching for it without much thought. She raised her hand to his chest, again pressing down.

He looked down at her, his breathing rapid as watched her. He nodded as he lay down, hands dutifully at his side.

He could wait.

He wanted to make Felicity happy. To bring her pleasure.

And at the moment, what would make that happen appeared to be doing the same thing to him.

Besides, he wasn't exactly in the best headspace to argue with her as he stretched out on the bed, his legs spread open so Felicity could sit between them. Her fingers trailed down his right arm, her thumb tracing the small scar under his elbow.

The same scar she had noticed only a few weeks into their friendship; she had laughed as he explained how he been eight when he had crashed into a credenza after attempting to slide down the stairs in his socks.

The scar had become a fixation of hers after that. A scar that he wasn't sure anyone could actually see anymore. It had been small to begin with and had only faded over time.

He watched her face soften as she smiled, before she tilted her head down, her hair falling forward, creating a veil around her. She placed one kiss on the right side of his chest, just above his nipple, and then another a few inches down before she diverted, kissing the small, half an inch section of raised skin below his elbow.

Tommy smiled in fondness at the gesture, relaxing as he realized how comfortable he felt. For all the times he had let himself imagine what this moment would be like, he had always expected to feel nervous or rushed.

He had imagined that it would be over almost as soon as it started.

Felicity dragged her lips lower down his arm. Placing one hand on his chest, her fingers skimmed over his skin, as she continued to kiss her way down his stomach.

For a moment, Tommy thought about telling her then. His need to tell her how he felt pushing past his need for her to continue.

But then her mouth moved from his stomach to his hip. She nipped at the bone before lowering her mouth to his inner thigh.

Tommy stiffened, a low moan escaping his throat as pressure built low in his stomach. Felicity sucked harder at his skin, his mind blanking as she demanded his attention.

Gasping, Tommy trailed his fingers down Felicity’s arm, while her hand grazed down his heated skin until her fingers circled around his erection.  Pulling her knees closer together, Felicity pressed her lips just below his hipbone, briefly tugging at the taut skin. Her tongue was smooth as she licked up to the top of the bone.

The bedsheet rustled as Felicity sat back, her knees pressing against his thighs. Tommy’s breathing quickened as she began pumping him, her eyes steady on him as she watched his reaction. Closing his eyes, Tommy groaned as she went faster, his shoulders rolling as he tried to remain still.

In his guilty imaginings, Tommy had always expected that Felicity would build the moment up more, draw out the anticipation in a long tease of sensation and symmetry. For her to kiss the same trail up the other side of his body, making sure to leave the same marks.

As Felicity placed her free hand on the bed next to his leg for balance, the edge of her thumbnail grazing the outside of his thigh in a line of slender fire, Tommy wasn’t sure he would have lived up to his own fantasy. He lifted his hips, an annoyed sigh escaping his throat, as Felicity dipped her head to try and kiss his thigh again.

“Look who's impatient now,” Felicity teased, lifting her head to look at him, tightening her grip around his length before sliding her hand up, brushing her thumb over the tip of his penis.

“Me?” Tommy asked, his voice strained. “I could do this all--”

Eyes slamming shut, Tommy moaned as Felicity closed her mouth over his cock, sucking hard as she slid her hand down to his base. Felicity’s breath was cool against his warm skin as she pulled back, her lips again parting. She pressed her tongue down flat against the head of his cock, slid it down his shaft. He groaned as she repeated the action, lifting his hips, seeking _more_.

Her fingers glided up from his thighs to rest against his hipbone and he lifted his hips again as she slowly pumped him. She pressed down against him, nails digging into his skin.

Tommy hissed at the sudden pain, pressing back into the mattress. The pressure on his hip faded and Felicity’s movements quickened, her mouth hot and wet as it enclosed him. Her cheeks hollowed as she sucked, his breath hitched while his fingers dug into the bed.

Pleasure sparked along his nerves, his spine tightening as his back arch, Felicity finding different ways to tease him. Her hands and mouth found an easy rhythm, always bringing her closer to him.

The muscles of his stomach tightened as Felicity's free hand dragged down his thigh, nails scratching along his skin, before cradling his balls in her cupped palm. She gently massaged them, her fingers squeezing at his shaft while her lips suctioned around his head; the sensation was almost too much, overwhelming pleasure that drew whining gasps from his throat.

She pulled away and he immediately missed her warmth. Burying his hands in her hair, Tommy attempted to guide her back, hips thrusting with her hand. Tommy thrust again, jerking against her tongue as it slid up and down his shaft. Her name fell from his lips as she took him back in her mouth.

The pressure built as she sucked, her hand dropping from his balls to squeeze his ass; he wasn’t going to last.

“Condoms,” Tommy gritted, his fingers tangling in Felicity’s curls as he tried, unsuccessfully, to move away from her. “Felicity!”

“I’m not finished,” Felicity argued, briefly pressing her tongue flat against the head before she took him back into her mouth.

“I’m not… I want to be in… Felicity--” Tommy started, his thoughts fragmenting as he pulled at her hair; he wasn’t sure if he was trying to pull her away or closer anymore. He moaned as she sucked, almost gave in to the pleasure, forgetting why he had wanted her to stop. Her tongue flicked at the tip of his cock, igniting pleasure that spread throughout his body.

Pulling away, she rocked back on her knees, taking a deep breath as she whispered, “Bathroom.”

“What?” Tommy asked, distracted as he scrambled to sit up, an overwhelming need to keep touching her sweeping over him.

He slid his hands up Felicity’s sides as he pulled her closer, kissing her before she could clarify, his chest pressing against hers. Pulling back slightly, Felicity flattened her palms against his chest, nails scraping against his skin before she clasped her hands behind his neck.

Tommy could faintly taste himself as he deepened the kiss.

“There's condoms in the bathroom,” Felicity murmured against his lips, unhooking her fingers as she smiled at him, her hands pressing against his chest before she moved away.

“In the bathroom?” Tommy asked, tilting his head in confusion. “Why are they in the--”

“My mom,” Felicity started to explain, gently shaking her head. “I actually don’t want to talk about it.”

“Do you want--” Tommy started, briefly glancing at the door before looking back at her. “Or we could--”

“I want,” Felicity confirmed, kissing him again softly before climbing off the bed and heading toward the door.

Leaning back against the headboard, Tommy kept his eyes on Felicity, craning his neck to appreciate the view until it was blocked by the bathroom door. He could hear the drawer as she pulled it open, a box being torn, foil crinkling as she grabbed a condom.

When she walked back into the room, the door shutting silently behind her, Tommy felt more in control. He had been beyond ready to be inside her, desperate to feel her, to hear her gasping his name when they stopped. But it would have been over too soon; he wanted to bring her to the same edge that she had pulled him to. He wanted to build Felicity up until she was the impatient one, begging for more.

Felicity walked toward the bed slowly, small streams of light from the half open curtain highlighting her body. She paused as her knees touched the edge of the mattress. A few strands of hair clung to the sweat-damp skin of her neck and Tommy brushed them back.

“Always prepared,” Tommy teased, rising onto his knees. He ran a finger up Felicity’s side, taking the condom from her hand.

Felicity shook her head, silently watching the motion of his hand as he tossed the condom toward the upper corner of the bed.

“Is this…” she started once Tommy rested his hand back on her hip. “Are you sure--”

Tommy nodded, pulling Felicity closer to him, his hands flat against her back, interrupting her question with a kiss.

He sighed as Felicity deepened the kiss, her fingers sliding over his shoulders before locking behind his neck. Moving backward on the mattress, Tommy removed one hand from Felicity’s back, his fingers skimming over the curve of her ass, before resting against the back of her thigh.

Pulling away from the kiss, Felicity lifted herself onto the mattress, moving to where Tommy was in the middle of the bed. Her hand grazed his thigh as she kneeled in front of him, fingers teasing as she pressed a kiss against his chest.

Tommy inhaled sharply, Felicity’s mouth kissing up from his chest to his neck. One of her hands wrapped loosely around his cock, slowly pumping. Felicity pressed herself closer against him, her free hand resting on the sheet behind him.

Tommy groaned as he reached down to grab Felicity’s hands, moving them until they rested against the top of his thighs. He rested his forehead against hers, taking a deep breath before slowly shaking his head.

“Not yet,” he whispered, releasing her hands. “I still have plans.”

“I never knew you were such a planner,” Felicity teased, a hint of annoyance in her tone.

“I’ve just thought about it a lot,” Tommy quietly admitted, distracted by the soft skin along Felicity’s collarbone. His fingers pressed down at the curve of her arm, trying to signal for her to lie back.

He realized what he had said once Felicity began to move back, the weight of her gaze growing as she leaned back. He glanced at her, the pinch of her eyebrow accentuating the inquisitive look spreading across her face.

He could practically see the questions forming in her head, wanting answers for things they didn’t need to talk about.

Not then, anyway.

Her mouth parted, the sounds of “what” barely audible before Tommy leaned down, kissing her. At first, Felicity tensed against him, her lips briefly motionless against his before she relaxed, responding to the kiss as if Tommy hadn’t said anything.

Deepening the kiss, Tommy ran his hand down along the curve of her breast, the pressure of his touch light as his fingers inched closer to her nipple. He rolled her nipple between his thumb and index finger, grinning as Felicity moaned, her back arching off of the bed, pushing herself closer to him.

Tommy licked up the curve of Felicity’s neck, his lips tugging against the shell of her ear as he cupped her other breast in his hand. Drawing patterns against her skin, he slowly teased, his ring finger tracing the curve of the underside of her breast while his thumb slid over her hardening nipple.

Felicity’s breath grew heavy, uneven against his ear as he placed a kiss on the side of her jaw. He continued the trail of kisses down her neck, along her collarbone and back toward her chest, until he reached the upper swell of her breast.

Glancing at Felicity, Tommy heard her sigh, her mouth parting, eyes falling shut, as he replaced his fingers with his mouth. Felicity grasped the back of his head as he sucked, his tongue running across the peak of her breast.

Tommy noted the different ways Felicity reacted to him, as he continued to place kisses down her body. How her breath hitched when he spread her legs apart, the small laugh that escaped her as his nose brushed over her ribs. The way she whined his name when he first tasted her, her fingers grasping at the back of his head.

He continued his movements, enjoying the way Felicity whined his name as his tongue entered her. Felicity’s hands grasped his hair, her legs tensing against his shoulders.

He savored every time his name left Felicity’s mouth, his lips brushing against her thighs before focusing on her clit.

She came with a higher pitched moan and an overly content sigh, as she shivered underneath him. She stilled as his mouth moved up her stomach, pressing his lips against her neck before he reached for the condom at the corner of the bed.

“Are you--”

Felicity cut him off with a kiss, grabbing the condom from his hand.  She tore the wrapper of the condom before Tommy could make sure that this was what she wanted… the feeling of her hands working the latex over him overcoming his senses before he could try to ask again.

Tommy kissed underneath Felicity’s ear, his teeth dragging down to her collarbone while he positioned himself at her entrance. He kept his eyes on her face, sliding inside of her with ease. He watched as she closed her eyes, noting the sharp intake of her breath as he entered her fully.

His dreams were nothing compared to reality. For all of the fantasies he had allowed himself, he had never imagined it being like this.  The feeling of rightness that washed over him as he slowly pulled back, Felicity's heels pushing against his ass, her back arching as she pulled him back in.

They quickly found a steady rhythm, the pull of _want_ and _more_ overtaking his need to make it last.

“Do friends,” Felicity half murmured, half gasped as one of Tommy’s hands wandered down to her clit, “do friends do this?”

Tommy smiled, pushing further inside of her. “We do.”

Words were lost as Felicity lifted her hips to meet his as Tommy quickened his pace.

Straining to keep his grasp on his control, Tommy slowed down, one hand clutching her side as the other worked his fingers in tiny circles against her clit.

“Come,” Tommy whispered, his voice commanding. “Come for me, Felicity.”

And she did.  She clenched around him as she worked her way through her orgasm.

He was close, his mind almost blissfully blank as he gave into the sensation of Felicity surrounding him.

“Too much,” Felicity whispered, grabbing his hand and moving it away from her center. Tommy interlocked their fingers as he placed their hands above her head.

“Felicity,” Tommy warned after Felicity’s free hand found his shoulder, her fingernails digging into him as she pulled her upper back off of the bed. Tommy let go of her other hand, moving his hand to help hold her up.

She smiled innocently up at him, pulling her bottom lip through her teeth, her fingers tracing a new line across his flesh.

“What?” she asked, one hand still moving along his back, the other holding his face, pulling him down to kiss her. “Do you not like,” Felicity panted, breaking the kiss. “when I do that?”

“I think you know--” Tommy hesitated as Felicity shifted her hips, pressing herself down harder against him.

“That you do?” Felicity teased, her hand dragging along the curve of his shoulder to his chest.

Tommy stilled as Felicity pushed against his chest.

“Roll over,” she ordered, her hands pressing at him again.

Tommy laughed, his head dropping against her neck.

“Bossy,” he joked, gripping onto her sides before doing as she asked.

“You- you have your plans,” Felicity said, beginning to rock her hips slowly against him, her hands braced against his thighs for balance. “I have mine.”

“Care to share?” Tommy asked, leaning forward from the bed to brush his lips over her breast.

Felicity froze above him, her grip on his thighs almost painful, as he pulled her nipple into his mouth.

Tommy tried to move his hips, frustrated with his current limitations underneath her.  Thankfully,  Felicity began to move again, her rhythm faster, more desperate as she continued.

“I'm more of a show than tell person,” Felicity said, arching her back until Tommy had to release her breast.

Her hair brushed over his legs, the unexpected interruption momentarily distracting him.

“Come back,” Tommy whispered, groaning as Felicity moved her hands, her fingers momentarily brushing against his balls before landing on his chest.

“You're too focused on me,” Felicity argued, her hips rotating in small circles, while she lowered her chest to his.  “I want this to be about you too.”

Tommy half-laughed, half-grunted as he playfully nipped at Felicity’s shoulder.

“Clearly you have no idea how amazing you sound,” Tommy teased, thankful that the way Felicity shifted forward allowed him more freedom and control of their pace. “Trust me, I'm being selfish.”

“I like it,” Felicity said, her breath warm against his skin as she moved her lips along the slope of his neck. “You should be selfish more.”

Tommy groaned, digging his fingernails into the sheet as he tried to center himself. He was too close and he wanted, he _needed_ this to last.

He took a deep breath as Felicity sat back up, leaning back again so he slid into her deeper. Tommy barely managed to keep his eyes open, her name slipping out with his breath.

“Come,” Felicity said, her eyes locking on his as she repeated his words. “Come for me, Tommy.”

It shouldn’t have been enough, but those words and the way Felicity clenched around him as he thrust upward again was all it took.

Leaning up, Tommy kissed Felicity, as he pushed into her one last time. Felicity smiled at him as she pulled back, giving him a chaste kiss before rolling off him.

Tommy remained still, breathing quickly as he slowly worked to remember how to move. Tommy opened his eyes, turning onto his side as he took in Felicity.

She had one arm wrapped around her stomach, her legs curled up, eyes closed, smile on her lips. She looked content. Happy.

Tommy removed the condom, rolling over to his nightstand to throw it in the waste basket.

Turning back toward Felicity, he ran a finger down her side, a rush of warmth spreading over him as she opened her eyes smiling at him.

She scooted closer to him, her arm laying across his stomach as she rested her head against his arm.

They stayed like that for awhile, wrapped around each other. Tommy drew small circles against Felicity’s hip, sighing contently as she snuggled closer to him.

He could stay like this forever, he realized. Tangled up in Felicity, laying in this post-coital bliss. But more importantly: he wanted to. He wanted this now and he wanted this to be his future.

_Their future._

Felicity rolled over to her back, softly giggling as she moved away.

“You’re hot,” She complained, shaking her head against the pillow.

Tommy stared at her, awestruck at her beauty, his heart constricting in his chest at the sight of her.

“I love you,” Tommy chuckled, blissfully unaware of what he said and how it sounded.

It took a moment for it to click in his head, that the reason Felicity seemed to freeze next to him was because of his words.

_I love you._

Tommy rolled onto his side, reaching out for Felicity again. He tried to hide his disappointment as she moved away. He watched carefully as Felicity’s eyes grew wide, her mouth opening slightly as she looked up at him.

He had been prepared for a lot of reactions: disbelief, anger, happiness.  But he hadn’t been prepared for the absolute hurt expression that overtook her face.

“What?” She asked sitting up, her voice small.

“I do,” Tommy said in a rush, trying to move as quickly as her. He sat up, careful to keep his hands in front of his stomach, denying his desire to reach out for her. “I love you.”

“You don’t… friends… friends don’t say that, Tommy,” Felicity spat out, her eyes narrowing as she looked away from him.

Tommy flinched, her clear anger at his confession unsettling.

This wasn’t how he had imagined this conversation going.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen.

“I don’t,” Tommy sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “I don’t just want to be your friend, Felicity.”

Felicity didn’t say anything, her gaze heavy as she stared at him.

“I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you” Tommy continued, the urge to explain himself bubbling up in his chest as he watched Felicity reach for her clothes. “And maybe this wasn’t the best time.”

Tommy tried to reach out to her again, closing his eyes as she remained at a distance.

She stood from the bed, pulling on her jeans.

“But I need,” Tommy paused, his breath hitching in his throat as Felicity threw her shirt on. “I need you to believe me.”

“I love you,” he continued, his eyes searching hers for some sort of sign that she understood what he was saying.

That he meant it.

Felicity didn’t say anything as she backed up closer to the door.

“I love you,” he repeated. “Felicity, I am in love with you.”

Felicity pressed her back against the door, tears shining in her eyes. She had her hand against the door knob, her wrist slowly turning the knob.

“I need… I need to go,” Felicity muttered, turning away from him. “I promised my mom I’d meet her for lunch.”

“Felic--” Tommy said, cut off by Felicity leaving the room, the door quietly shutting before he could finish her name.

He froze, waiting for her to come back. To let him finish this conversation.

A part of him still hoping that she would say it back.

Hoping that maybe, just maybe, she loved him.

Tommy sank into the bed as he heard the front door of the apartment close.

Felicity was gone.

He had told her the truth. He had told her that he loved her. And she left. She left him.

What had he done?

 


	12. Chapter 12

Pushing her feet into the soft dirt underneath the swing’s seat, Felicity tried to ignore all of the thoughts that were barging into her head. Tommy had said that he loved her. _He loved her_. At first, after she left, she had tried to convince herself that he had meant it platonically. That he loved her because he was her best friend.

When that excuse stopped working, she decided that it was the sex. Having sex temporarily ruined his thinking ability and that's why he had told her he loved her. Which was, admittedly, a little conceited, to think that sex with her would have that kind of impact on him. But it was currently the reason she was holding on to for why she almost said it back.

Years of keeping her feelings to herself, locked up inside of her, and she almost told him without a second thought. And then where would they be? In an even more complicated situation when he tried to take it back.

As much as Felicity wanted to believe that he wouldn't, that somehow he had fallen in love with her over the last few days, she knew it couldn't be true. You don't just fall in love with someone you've known for years in just a few days. He was confused and when they got home he would realize it. And then she would lose him.

If she hadn't already lost him.

Felicity sighed as the swing slowed down to a stop again, blinking back tears as her grasp on the chain tightened. For a moment, she had everything she wanted. A glimpse into what it would be like to be loved by Tommy.

And then she ruined it. Or reality ruined it. Either way, the moment was gone.

He had looked so hurt when she started to leave. A part of her wanted to stay, wanted to do whatever it took for him to not look at her like she was breaking his heart. It was an image she didn’t think she would ever be able to forget, the absolute look of panic that passed across his face as she took off. She should have stayed. Felicity wasn’t sure what could have happened if she had stayed, but she knew that there would have been answers. A potential solution.

Instead, the urge to run as far away from the situation overwhelmed her. She didn’t want to get hurt. If she left, and they never talked, she might be able to stop everything from becoming real. Leaving then felt like the best option.

Maybe she was her father’s daughter, always just a moment away from leaving for good.

She wasn’t sure how she was supposed to go back to the apartment. She left because she didn’t know what to say to Tommy. But he would be there no matter when she went back. They were going to have to talk at some point. She wasn’t going to be able to run away forever.

If she waited until dinner to go back, she and Tommy would have to keep pretending in front of her mom. Would Tommy even do that now? It wasn’t fair that he had to spend the last few days doing that, but making him pretend like everything was fine between them now seemed worse. But if she went back before… she wasn’t ready to talk to him.

She needed to leave Vegas.

Leaning back, Felicity dug her phone out of her pocket, calling Sara before she could think of the consequences.

“Hey, what's up?” Sara asked as a greeting, the sound of traffic behind her making it hard to hear her.

“Bad time?” Felicity asked, hoping that her voice didn't sound as wavering over the phone as it did to her ears.

“No,” Sara said. “Just give me a second and I'll stop at the next building. What's wrong?”

Felicity sighed, running her free hand through her hair. She waited until the background noise faded before replying. “Well, to start you're a terrible friend who gives the worst advice and do you think you could still call in an emergency and I'll take the next flight home?”

“Felicity--"

“I can't go back to the apartment Sara,” Felicity continued, her voice cracking, “I just… I can't.”

“Tell me what happened.”

“We slept together,” Felicity admitted. “We slept together and then he told me he loved me.”

Sara didn't say anything, the silence over the phone overwhelming Felicity as she started to rock the swing. Sara was never quiet for this long. She was also quick with a response or an idea.

Calling her was a bad idea, Felicity realized.

“I feel like I'm missing the problem,” Sara finally said.

“The problem is that Tommy said he loved me and I _know_ he can't mean it,” Felicity said, blinking back tears.

“Felicity--"

“Don't ‘Felicity' me, Sara,” Felicity interrupted sharply. “If Tommy loved me don't you think he would have brought that up before all of this?”

“Did you?”

“That's not… that's not fair.”

“Do you think you’re being fair to Tommy right now?”

“I hate you,” Felicity muttered, closing her eyes.

Felicity had purposefully not asked herself that question. Refused to even consider that maybe Tommy had been hiding his feelings about her the same way she had hidden her own. It was too much of a dream. Real life didn't work that way. _Her_ life didn't work like that.

“You love me,” Sara teased and Felicity could practically see her shrugging. “And you love Tommy.”

“I do,” Felicity admitted, running the toes of her shoes across the bark underneath her. “But I'm not what he needs. Sara, I'm already messing things up. He told me he loved me and I _ran away._ What does that say about me?”

“Absolutely nothing,” Sara sighed. “Maybe that you are scared. But I need you to be brave. You need to talk to him. You need to tell him how you feel and, Felicity, you need to believe him when he tells you how he feels.”

A single car passed by on the road fronting the park, and for a moment the only sound was the breeze and the car’s engine fading away.

“What if I’ve already ruined this?” Felicity asked in a small voice.

“Then I'll have an emergency and you'll be on the next flight home.”

“I'm scared that I don't know how to fix this,” Felicity admitted. “I should have told him the truth before. Maybe all of this could have been avoided.”

“You can't change the past,” Sara gently reminded her. “But you can go back home and change your future.”

“But what--"

“Felicity,” Sara interrupted with a small laugh. “Stop stalling and go talk about the ifs and the buts with the guy that matters.”

“Okay,” Felicity nodded, nervously biting down on her lip. “If I call again, just assume it's emergency time and book my flight home.”

\---

Tommy stared at the rather large box in the postal man’s arms.

 _Arms._ Plural.  As in the box was too large to reasonably be held with one hand.

“Were you not expecting a package?” the man asked, momentarily struggling with the package before holding out the clunky electronic device for Tommy to sign.

“No,” Tommy said, shaking his head as he signed his name. “I mean, I was. Just a much smaller one.”

The guy sort of shrugged, clearly annoyed by his limited movement. “Last name?” He asked, taking the device back and holding out the package.

“Merlyn,” Tommy confirmed, grabbing the package and stepping back into the apartment.

The box was definitely from Oliver. Tommy studied the label while he walked into the kitchen, grabbing a knife before placing the box on the dining room table.

It took fifteen minutes for Tommy to cut through the nineteen boxes Oliver had needlessly decided to include. Another ten to figure out what to do with all of the newspaper and packing material that was shoved inside every single box.

He spent five minutes with his eyebrows knitted in frustration on the last box, wondering where Oliver even found that much tape.

Finally, the small, black box was in his hands. Tommy ran his finger down the edge of the container before opening it.

The yellow gold band glinted in the box as Tommy leaned back against the wall. He pulled the ring from the box, carefully holding it up to the light. The ring was rather simple compared to some others he had seen, but his mom had loved it. The three stones were cushion cut, the middle one slightly raised. It was the only one that was new to his mom’s family, the two side stones had belonged to her mother’s mother’s mother, or something like that. Tommy hadn't been overly keen on listening to a history lesson on his mom’s wedding ring when he was younger.  

Tommy had a hard time imagining Malcolm picking such a simple design and using diamonds that weren't the biggest or brightest. Logically, he knew that before her death, Malcolm had been different, especially with Rebecca. But that didn't make it any easier to see his father taking the time to design the ring.

Tommy placed the jewelry box on top of the pile of other boxes, taking a few minutes to strategically pull out some of the packaging materials before he reached for his cell phone. He took a picture, sending it to Oliver.

 **Tommy:** seriously??

 **Oliver:** Are you actually complaining that I did what you asked.

Tommy sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose while he read Oliver’s reply. He rolled his eyes, leaning back against the kitchen counter as he typed out his response.

 **Tommy:** I asked you to send me my mom’s ring, not a starting pack to open a new shipping company.

 **Oliver:** Did you get the ring?

 **Tommy:** You’re an asshole.

 **Oliver:** You didn't get the ring?

 **Tommy:** Of course I did

 **Oliver:** That's right. Because I am a damn good friend.

Tommy sighed as he stared at the message. Oliver _was_ a good friend. He hadn't taken any of Oliver's advice since he gotten to Vegas. Tommy was certain that he knew exactly how to handle the situation. Coming out and telling Felicity about his true feelings wasn't going to work; she would immediately doubted him.

She would have wondered why he hadn't told her. Why was he telling her now? How long had he had feelings for her? It would have opened him up for a spew of questions he wasn't prepared for, some that he wasn't positive even had answers.

Not to mention the inevitable moment when Felicity would have to tell him that she didn't feel the same way. Somehow, in his head, he figured avoiding any conversation about his feelings while they were pretending to be together was a great idea. It would come up organically, he didn't need to push the conversation. But he was terrified. And any moment that may have been right seemed too soon, too rushed. He was convinced he would ruin things before they truly began.

By the time he was ready to talk about how he felt, Felicity began avoiding the topic. He missed all of the signs. Felicity must have figured it out. Somewhere along the way, he had stopped trying to hide his feelings for her because he let himself think that he didn't _need_ to anymore. Of course she figured it out. Which is why she avoided the conversation.

He wasn't sure why he thought pretending to be her boyfriend wasn't going to ruin their friendship. Or how he managed to convince himself that he could be with her in the way he had been dreaming of for only a few days and then go back to how things were before.

He was an idiot.

 **Oliver:** So, how are you planning on proposing to Felicity with your mom’s ring without giving away the fact that you are in love with her?

Tommy groaned as he read the message.

 **Tommy:** I already fucked that up.

Tommy was halfway through a follow up message to explain what he had done when Oliver’s image flashed across his screen. Tommy answered the call without meaning to, his fingers still sliding along the glass to finish his message.

For a moment, Tommy considered hanging up, finishing the text he was in the middle of and turning off his phone so he didn’t have to deal with whatever Oliver was going to say. He didn’t need to hear about how he could have done this differently, or how maybe he misunderstood Felicity’s actions. Or, really, anything Oliver was going to say.

What he needed to do was figure out how he was going to get out of this mess. How he was going to look at Felicity and act like he was completely fine, like _they_ were completely fine.

“Tommy,” Oliver’s voice rang out from his cell phone.

“Fuck,” Tommy muttered, lifting the phone up to his ear. “Look, man, I’m not--”

“Getting out of this conversation,” Oliver interrupted, his tone firm. “How did you fuck this up more?”

“Go to hell,” Tommy snapped. “I don’t--” he paused, clenching his hand into a fist while he shook his head. He wasn’t angry at Oliver. The last thing he needed was to push Oliver away too. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Oliver was silent. Tommy hated talking on the phone. He had no way of figuring out what Oliver was thinking, no way of preparing himself for what may come.

“It sounds like you need to though,” Oliver said, his voice more concerned than Tommy had been expecting. “What happened?”

“I fucked up,” Tommy said as if that was enough. He wasn’t sure why Oliver needed to hear about _how_ exactly he fucked up. Wasn’t it enough to just know that he fucked up? Why did he need Tommy to replay one of the worst moments of his life?

“Wow,” Oliver sighed. “Feel free to expand on the details whenever you are ready. I don’t have to be anywhere for a few hours.”

Tommy closed his eyes, his shoulders sagging as he took a deep breath. He hated when Oliver got like this: calm with an amount of patience that would surprise anyone else. Pushing off of the counter, he walked into the living room. He didn’t say anything as he stretched out across the couch, a small part of him still hoping that Oliver would drop the conversation.

“How’s the weather?” Tommy asked after a few minutes of silence. “Should I wear a jacket on the plane?”

Oliver didn’t say anything.

“You’re right,” Tommy said to fill the silence. “I should bring one just in case. Or download a weather app.”

“Tommy,” Oliver warned. “The flight to Vegas isn’t a very long one. I could probably make it down and back before I have to be at Verdant. So unless you _really_ want to have this conversation in person, tell me what happened.”

“I told her the truth,” Tommy managed to get out after a few seconds, each word heavy in his throat. “I told her the truth and she left.”

“And by truth, you mean you told her--”

“I told her I fucking loved her,” Tommy cut Oliver off, not needing to hear Oliver say it. He bit down on the inside of his cheeks as he waited for Oliver to ask another question or to make some remark about how it took him long enough. He figured that at least Oliver would ask, again, what he had done to fuck things up.

He didn’t. Even Oliver knew that telling Felicity the truth was how he had fucked up. He didn’t need any additional confirmation.

“I told her that I loved her. That I didn’t want to just be her friend. That I want more. And she… God, Ollie--” Tommy paused, awkwardly clearing his throat before continuing, “she left. She just… she left.”

“Okay,” Oliver said after a long moment. “I’m going to need more details. Because that doesn’t make sense, Tommy.”

“What do you--” Tommy’s eyes narrowed as he laughed, “what do you mean that doesn’t make sense? That’s what happened.”

“I--I get that man,” Oliver sighed, the sound only adding to Tommy’s irritation. “I’m not arguing that it didn’t happen. But I need context to understand how this happened because I know you and Felicity. And it doesn’t make sense.”

“Of course it makes sense,” Tommy ground out, his voice full of contempt. “She doesn’t have feelings for me Oliver. I have no idea what we’ve been doing for the last few days. But she doesn’t feel the same way. And I have about four hours to figure out how to undo… all of this.”

“No,” Oliver simply said. “You aren’t getting out of this Tommy. I get that Felicity left. And that you may not want to hear that you’re too close to the situation… but you’re too close to the situation. There could be a million reasons for Felicity’s reaction.”

“99% of which are that she doesn’t feel the same and realized that sleeping with me was a mistake.”

“Wait,” Oliver said with a cough. “You slept with her? Seriously, Tommy? How was that?”

Tommy groaned, exhaling sharply. He needed to find a reason to get off of the phone. He wasn’t in the mood to talk to Oliver about this. He didn’t want to think about having sex with Felicity. Not when he knew it wasn’t going to happen again.

“Yeah,” Tommy replied. “I did. It was… it was amazing. So, there you go, you know the details. Can I go now?”

“Before or after?” Oliver asked, ignoring Tommy’s question.

“Before or after what?”

“Did you tell Felicity that you loved her before or after you had sex?” Oliver clarified, his original annoyance creeping back into his voice.

“Right after,” Tommy answered, tapping his fingers against the side of the couch. “What does it matter?”

“What does-- what does it matter?” Oliver snickered. “God, you are a fucking idiot.”

“Yeah, I think we’ve covered that one already. Thanks for bringing it back up. You’re really a great friend,” Tommy bit out, not caring for a moment if he had no friends when he got back to Starling.

“We’ve definitely covered what a great friend I am,” Oliver reminded him. “C’mon man, you can’t honestly have expected Felicity to react well to that?”

“I mean,” Tommy paused, briefly wondering how exactly else he was supposed to have expected her to react. “I was supposed to expect her to run away from me within seconds of telling her?”

“No,” Oliver hesitantly started. “No, that might have been a little extreme. But are you telling me that you can’t see where she was coming from at all?”

“I guess?” Tommy answered, unsure of his real answer. “Maybe if she didn’t have any idea how I felt before? She had to know though, Ollie. There’s no way--”

“Do you see now why you should have taken my advice on telling her the truth from the beginning? I’m positive all of this would have been avoided had you just _talked_ first.”

“Fuck off,” Tommy said, trying to shake the truth of Oliver’s words. “I tried to talk to her yesterday. She didn’t want to talk. Probably because she realized that she was going to have to tell me that she didn’t feel the same way.”

“So she slept with you because she doesn’t have feelings for you? You can’t honest--”

“I don’t want to talk about this,” Tommy interrupted, sitting up on the couch. “I know what happened.”

“No,” Oliver said with such certainty that Tommy wanted to scream. “You don’t. And you won’t until you talk to her.”

“I tried that. I told her that I lo--”

“Fuck, Tommy,” Oliver sighed. “You told her you loved her after you slept with her. After days of telling her that you guys were just friends. You need to actually have a conversation about your feelings that doesn’t start with the two of you making out or getting engaged and pretending like that’s something friends _just do_.”

Of course Oliver would say that. Oliver would know just the words to string together to reflect what he and Felicity had said. _Do friend do this? Is this something friends do? Friends don’t say that_.  

“We said--” Tommy started, pressing his fingers against his temple. “We said that they did? That we could. Friends _can_ have sex.”

“You two actually…” Oliver’s sentence trailed off as he started laughing. “You two managed to have that discussion but couldn’t find time to talk about how just maybe you’re both full of shit and in love with each other? If it makes you feel better, you and Felicity are _both_ idiots.”

Despite himself, Tommy laughed. He was getting relationship advice from _Oliver Queen_ and it was making sense. Maybe the flight from Starling to Vegas had thrown him into some kind of alternate universe.

“When did you become the mature one in this friendship? Tommy asked, leaning back into the couch.

“I’ve, uh, well,” Oliver stuttered, and for a second Tommy thought he sounded almost embarrassed. “I’ve been going to therapy.”

“What?” Tommy asked, he pulled the phone away from his ear for a second to confirm that he was still talking to Oliver. “Did something happen?”

“Nothing, nothing big?” Oliver responded vaguely. “I’m kind of a fuck up too, you know? And I don’t-- I decided that I didn’t want to always be one. I had no idea how to change that, so, therapy.”

“Wow.” Tommy looked across the coffee table in front of him, focusing on the scratches on the far right corner. He had know idea what to say to that.

“Good timing apparently. Who knew you’d need this much advice.”

“Yeah, you should send me your next bill.” Tommy smiled. “In fact, does your therapist do emergency, over-the-phone appointments? Because I… Ollie, I have no idea what to do here.”

“Do you know when she’ll be back? Maybe you should try to call her?”

“She was supposed to have lunch with her mom.” Tommy sighed as he glanced at the clock on the wall next to the kitchen. It was almost noon. “I doubt she’ll answer any call from me right now. And I’d be surprised if she came back here until Donna gets off work.”

“But won’t Donna get off at like--”

“Yeah, man,” Tommy answered before Oliver could finish his question. “If I remember correctly, Donna’s picking up dinner when she gets off work.”

“Okay,” Oliver paused, the noise in the background getting louder. “You can either call her or you can sit around in an empty apartment for a few more hours and talk yourself out of even trying to have this conversation with Felicity.”

“She won’t ans--”

“Did you try?” Oliver asked. “Before you called me? Since you’ve been on the phone with me?”

Tommy sighed, annoyed with the way Oliver had managed to turn the conversation back to him talking to Felicity. He wasn’t going to call Felicity. He didn’t want to talk to Felicity. If she wanted to talk, she would have stayed. She would have at least given him half a chance to explain.

But she didn’t.

At first, Tommy thought about chasing after her, he _needed_ her to understand what he meant. He loved her and, for a moment, he let himself believe that she felt the same way. He had thought that maybe she was scared. He knew Felicity; he should have expected her to react that way.

Her head start was too much though, by the time had had gotten clothes on and out the front door, he couldn’t see her. They weren’t in Starling, he couldn’t even begin to guess where she would go to be alone in Vegas.

Felicity knew that. She knew when she left that he wouldn’t be able to find her to talk to her. That’s when Tommy realized that Felicity didn’t leave because she needed time to process anything, but because she didn’t feel the same way and wanted to avoid telling him.

“If she wanted to talk to me,” Tommy began, clearing his throat before continuing, “don’t you think she would have stayed?”

“No,” Oliver answered quickly. “We’re just going to keep talking in circles and I have a meeting with a new vendor I need to prep for. So, keep having this conversation with yourself, and every time you ask a question just know my answer would likely fall under ‘no,’ ‘you’re an idiot,’ and ‘call Felicity.’”

Tommy was about to interrupt Oliver and tell him that he could stop being such an asshole anytime when he heard the lock turn in the front door. He looked up at the sound, his heart hammering in his chest, and watched Felicity walk in.

Oliver was still talking, but Tommy wasn't listening. All of his attention focused on Felicity. She had been crying, her cheeks were still puffy and slightly red. He wanted to hang up on Oliver then, to hug Felicity and find some way to make her happy. It's what he did.

He had no idea what to do when he was the one that made her sad in the first place.

“So call--”

“Felicity,” Tommy whispered, his eyes still glued on her as she shut the door.

“Yes!” Oliver said loudly, Tommy pulled the phone away from his ear a bit. “Call Felicity.”

“What?” Tommy asked shaking his head . “No, Felicity just got here.”

“Oh,” Oliver sounded surprised. “Okay. So talk to her.”

“Yeah,” Tommy sighed, watching as Felicity walked over to the couch, sitting on the opposite side of him. “I’ll talk to you later.”

Tommy sat the phone down on the edge of the coffee table, waiting for Felicity to say something, anything. She kicked off her shoes in silence, turning so that she was facing him, her back pressed against the armrest of the couch.

Felicity nodded once, a sad smile on her lips. It felt like hours passed before she finally said something.

“We should probably talk.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! Thank you for every comment and kudo. I have had so much fun watching you guys react and enjoy this story.

 

Felicity failed to think this conversation through. She had figured she could get away with just sending her mom a quick ‘won’t be able to make it to lunch, something came up with Tommy’ message. Unfortunately, she sent the message at a time Donna had her phone. So the ten second text message became a six minute phone conversation.

She had planned on thinking about the best ways to start the conversation with Tommy. To take her time walking home as she considered whether or not to start the conversation with ‘I love you too and I’m sorry that I just ran out on you’ or ‘when you say you love me, what exactly do you mean?’ She didn’t have time to prepare and now she was sitting on a couch terrified as Tommy looked at her, waiting for her to start talking.

And she didn’t know where to begin.

She should have walked around the block a few more times. Taken the time to follow through on her plan to come up with worst case scenario options, perfect opening lines, and understanding smiles for when one of them ended up hurt. She should have spent more time deciding whether she was going to listen to her heart and believe that Tommy had loved her before this trip, or her brain and try to figure out what had changed and why it mattered.

“Why is this so hard?” Felicity asked, laughing as she pulled her knees up to her chest. “I hate that it’s like this between us, Tommy. It’s not… you’re the person I talk to.” Felicity paused, her eyes watering. “When I need to know what to say, or how to approach a situation, I go to you. And I can’t get advice from you on this. And I don’t… I don’t know how to start.”

Tommy didn’t respond. He barely even glanced over at her as she spoke, his gaze focused on whatever was in front of him.

“You’re mad at me,” Felicity confirmed with a small nod. “I would be too. I shouldn’t have left. I should have talked to you yesterday. And we shouldn’t--” Felicity’s voice broke. She closed her eyes, pulling her knees back toward her more, trying to minimize the amount of space she took up on the couch. She stayed like that for a minute, slowly breathing as she gathered her thoughts. She took another deep breath before sitting straighter, running her hands over her face. “We shouldn’t have slept together before talking. We should have done so many things differently. _I_ should have done things differently. I should have told you how I felt sooner. I was-- I am _terrified_ of losing you.”

Still nothing. Felicity bit down her bottom lip as she waited for Tommy to say something. She ran her hands across her face again, glaring at the traces of mascara she saw when she looked down at her fingers. She couldn’t push him. Whether or not she believed he was telling the truth about how he felt, she was still the one that ran away. He _should_ be mad at her.

She wasn’t sure any amount of time would have allowed her to prepare for Tommy not talking to her.

“I can, uh, I can go?” Felicity offered, turning away from Tommy before standing up. “Not like leave. I’m not leaving again. You just, you don’t seem to want to be a part of this conversation right now. And that’s fine. We can wait. I… I can wait.”

Tommy shook his head, reaching out to grab Felicity’s hand. “Feelings for me?”

“What?” Felicity asked, looking down at their hands.

“You said you should have told me about how you felt sooner,” Tommy clarified, finally looking at Felicity.

She squeezed his hand, giving him a small, tight smile. He looked tired. Felicity hadn’t prepared for that reaction. She had expected him to be angry, hurt, maybe even frustrated. But seeing him so tired hurt in a way she didn’t expect.

The situation they were in was exhausting. She didn’t have the energy to keep pretending or to keep convincing herself that things were perfectly fine. She knew that she was tired. It only made sense that Tommy would be too.

“Yeah,” Felicity said, sitting down next to Tommy. Her leg brushed against his as she sat their hands on top of his knee. She waited for him to pull away, to untangle their hands and move away from her. He didn’t. “Maybe if I had told you, this whole situation could have been avoided. I mean, you never would have volunteered to be my fake boyfriend if you knew beforehand that I was in love with you.”

“You--”

“Let me finish,” Felicity interrupted, shaking her head. “It wasn’t fair of me to do that. I knew how I felt about you, and I knew that you didn’t feel the same way about me. And that’s okay. Being your friend… Tommy, being your friend means so much more to me than you know. I made peace with my decision to keep my feelings to myself a long time ago because you _matter_ to me. I need you in my life,” Felicity said simply. It was the truth. Whenever she imagined her future, Tommy was in it. She could live without Tommy being in her life romantically, but the thought of him not being there at all… it was unthinkable.  She bit down on the inside of her cheek, taking another breath as she worked to calm herself down.

She needed to make it through this conversation without crying. Thinking about the consequences of telling Tommy how she felt wasn’t going to help her. She was committed to telling Tommy the truth. Lying to him was why things had gotten so out of control and continuing to lie to him was only going to make it worse. Knowing that didn’t make it easy, and she knew that crying would only make it worse. She didn’t want to make things worse anymore.

“Which is why I should have said no. We never should have done this. You don’t deserve to be put in this position,” Felicity continued, her voice shaky as tears welled in her eyes.

“It wasn’t fair,” Felicity whispered, her breath hitching in her throat. She turned her head to look out the sliding glass door, trying to take the time to regain her composure. A part of her longed to look at Tommy, to gauge his reactions against what she was saying. But she couldn’t look at him. She didn’t need to know how he was reacting. Not if she didn’t want to risk changing what she was saying depending on how he reacted.

His hand was still in hers though, his thumb circling against her skin, a comfort she wasn’t sure she deserved. Nonetheless, it was a comfort that she appreciated. An anchor of familiarity that helped her focus.

“I’m sorry,” she continued, turning her head to look forward again. “I should have stopped things from getting this carried away. I took advantage of the situation and I hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you. I didn’t know how to stop.” Felicity said each word slowly, deliberately, struggling to find the best way to phrase what she was thinking without spiraling into a stream-of-consciousness speech.

“I had everything I wanted in front of me all of a sudden. I could touch you. I could hold you. I could _kiss_ you. I just wanted to enjoy that? Because I knew… I knew that when we went home I wouldn’t be able to do that anymore. So I decided to make the most of it, to enjoy it while I could. But that doesn’t make it right.” Felicity’s voice cracked at the end, guilt evident in her voice.

“So, what I’m really trying to say here...” Felicity paused, taking a deep breath before looking at Tommy. She couldn’t read his expression. His gaze was steady on hers, but there was no clear emotion on his face. “Is that I love you.”

Felicity closed her eyes, letting the words hang in the air for a moment. It felt nice, almost relieving, to tell him. Nodding once to herself, Felicity opened her eyes. Tommy’s face was as still and expressionless as it had been before.

“I’ve been in love with you for a while,” Felicity continued with a small shrug. “I probably should have told you that sooner. And I’m sorry for taking advantage of our friendship. I’m sorry that I let things get so out of control while we’ve been here and for all of the confusion. I don’t know how we’re going to get past this, but whatever you need, just tell me. I’ll do my best to do whatever it takes. I never meant to ruin us. I’m sorry,”  Felicity said, lifting one hand to wipe at the tears on her face.

“I’m so sorry, Tommy,” Felicity finished with a whisper, looking down at their hands.

A feeling of _rightness_ settled over her at the way they fit together. She had allowed herself to become more comfortable with the idea of them, even though she knew that she shouldn’t have. Imagining a future with Tommy was easy, but it wasn’t an image for her to keep.

She needed to let go.

Tommy held on tighter to her hand when Felicity tried to pull away, but he was still silent. Felicity wasn’t sure how much longer she was going to be able to sit next to him, holding his hand, and waiting for him to say something, _anything_ , before she lost the loose grip she had on her emotions. She may have started crying, but she wasn’t sobbing.

A few more moments of silence, and she wasn’t sure that would still be true.

“What do you mean--” Tommy shook his head, his eyes narrowing as he glanced at Felicity. “How long--” another pause, Tommy ran his free hand through his hair. “Why did you--”

“Tommy,” Felicity interrupted, trying to give him a reassuring smile. “I have no problem answering any questions you may have, but I need there to be an _actual_ question to answer at some point.”

“Right, of course you do.” Tommy laughed, nodding. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“You’re my best friend,” Felicity explained, her head briefly tilting to the side. Biting down her lip, she tried to think of how to elaborate on her rationale. “I had thought about it. Obviously, I thought about it. But the risk of losing you… of losing our friendship… I guess I just decided to play it safe. I didn’t want you to think that I was unhappy being your friend--”

“You never,” Tommy sighed, his forehead crinkling in confusion. “Are you telling me you never realized I had feelings for you too?”

“What?” Felicity asked, eyes widening. “But you--”

“Had the same fears as you,” Tommy quietly offered. “If you need me to, I could probably plagiarize your speech. It all applies. You’re my best friend, and the thought of losing you… that’s not an option for me.” Tommy shook his head, shrugging as he looked at Felicity. “That’s never going to be an option for me. I need you”

Felicity stared at Tommy, her mouth opening and closing a few times. She had no idea what to say to him. She had no idea how to _feel_. What did he mean by feelings? Felicity had been very careful to tell Tommy how she felt, to tell him that she _loved_ him. Did Tommy mean he loved her too?

And if he did, how had he managed to keep his feelings from her? Why had he kept it a secret? The rational part of her knew that she had done the same thing to him, for the same reasons. But this felt different. Tommy had almost always been an open book with her.

So, why had he kept this to himself? If he had told her… if he had even given her the slightest hint that he may feel the same way, maybe she would have told him sooner. Maybe they would have had a chance.

In the small amount of time between calling Donna and trying to figure out what she was going to tell Tommy, Felicity had imagined different reactions from him. She figured he'd be confused. She had expected anger. She had even braced herself for the confirmation that he didn't feel the same way.

She hadn't spent any time preparing for her own reactions to Tommy’s response. She certainly wasn't prepared for Tommy to say he had feelings for her.  She should have prepared more. Felicity wasn't sure she had ever experienced such a mix of happiness and anger at the same time.

Because maybe he loved her, but he still kept it from her. Which wasn't fair. She _knew_ she wasn't being fair.

She needed answers. But her mind was going too fast. Every time she tried to ask one question, she either thought of another, better question or forgot the question entirely because _maybe he loved her._

“I think I may need you to keep going,” Felicity said, her gaze moving to the wall behind Tommy. “Preferably using your own words.”

“That's… that's fair,” Tommy said, tapping his thumb against Felicity’s hand. “It’s kind of funny, I’ve thought about this moment a lot. But I never focused on what I would say or how I would let you know. It was always just this vague dream of a moment that would change what we were. And now it’s that moment, and I have no idea what I’m supposed to say to get us there.

“I, uh, I wish I knew when I realized that I wanted more than just friendship,” Tommy continued after a breath. “It seems like it should have been a big moment, a memorable one at least. But it wasn’t. I didn’t just wake up one day with the sudden realization that I wanted more.”

“Maybe it’s because I wouldn’t let myself dwell on the thoughts,” Tommy admitted, his voice tinged with uncertainty. “The more I imagined a life _with_ you, the more I wanted it. Which was dangerous because I couldn’t predict the outcome. Loving you, Felicity, is one of the easiest and most terrifying things I have ever done. So I ran from it.”

Felicity’s eyes flew to Tommy’s at his words. _Loving you._ Love. He had told her earlier that he loved her, but she hadn't believed him. If anything, she had guessed that at best he was just confused because of what had happened between them since they had gotten to her mom’s.

Now… now he was helping her realize that his feelings weren't new. He had been keeping his feelings from her the same way she had from him. For the first time since the conversation started, Felicity relaxed. She believed him.

He loved her. And she believed him.

She had been so nervous about how Tommy would react to her confession, but if he felt about her the way she felt about him, she had nothing to worry about.

“I shouldn't have,” Tommy said, squeezing Felicity’s hand, drawing her out of her thoughts. “Maybe if I had embraced it, all of this could have been avoided.”

“We could have been together,” Felicity added, her voice sad. She waved a hand around the room. “All of this could have been real.”

“I want it to be real.” Tommy cupped Felicity’s face, smiling at her. “I want everything to be real. That's why I wanted to talk to you. I was going to tell you. I even--" Tommy laughed, closing his eyes for a second. “I even had Oliver send a ring for you.”

“Tommy,” Felicity whispered, leaning into Tommy’s hand. “You didn't have to do that.”

“I meant _everything_ , Felicity,” Tommy said as if it was the most simple thing. “I know we are doing this all wrong and out of order, but I know what I want. I want a future with you. I want to marry you. I don't… I don't need time to know that. You might? I get that. It might be strange explaining all of this to Donna, but I've already come up with a few different ways we could and--"

Felicity kissed him, smiling against his lips.

“I want everything too,” she whispered, still smiling as she pulled back. “Although, I am kind of interested about how you thought you could explain to Donna that while we aren't engaged, we are now dating and get away with it.”

“And I'll tell you all about them. But first...” Tommy laughed as he stood up from the couch and walked toward the kitchen. “I need to grab something.”

After a minute of waiting for Tommy to come back, Felicity got up to go to the kitchen. She didn't know what he was doing, why it was important, or why it was taking so long, but she wanted to find out.

“What are you--" her question died on her lips as she walked into the kitchen. There were boxes and packing supplies scattered all over the table. “What the hell happened in here?”

“Oliver happened,” Tommy said, as if that was any kind of an explanation for the mess. “But that's not important right now.”

“Not important?” Felicity laughed, leaning around Tommy to grab a piece of bubble wrap. “My mom is going to have so many questions on what we were doing that required… any of this.”

“I’ll tell her the truth,” Tommy said with a shrug, “You had a really detailed fantasy about sex with a mail deliverer. How much weight _can_ bubble wrap supp--”

“Stop!” Felicity exclaimed, popping the bubble wrap in her hands. “She would believe you and I would _never_ be able to live that down.” Felicity tilted her head to the side, looking at the bubble wrap that had fallen onto the floor. “Although, now I am kind of curious--”

“Later,” Tommy promised, grinning at her. “We have all of the time for that later.”

“We have time for it now. My mom won’t be home for a few hours,” Felicity reminded him, stepping forward to wrap her arms around his waist. She pressed her lips against the side of his neck, smiling at how comfortable she was doing that. “What’s so important?”

“I’m trying to propose to you,” Tommy laughed, kissing Felicity’s forehead. “Properly. You are making this difficult.”

“You have proposed to me,” Felicity teased, kissing along his jawline. “Twice by my count. Each one was very good. I feel properly and sufficiently proposed to. I’d like to celebrate that.”

“But neither of them had this,” Tommy said, moving back from Felicity to grab the ring box that was behind him. He slightly shook the box in his hand, nervously biting his bottom lip. “This seems like an important part to an engagement.”

“Well, if you insist,” Felicity teased. “Did you say you had Oliver pick the ring out?”

Tommy opened the ring box. Felicity’s breath caught in her throat. She knew that ring. Oliver didn't pick a ring, he picked up _the_ ring.

“Tommy... ” Felicity said, all hints of joking gone from her voice as she raised her eyes from the ring to Tommy’s face. His smile was contagious. “Tommy, that's your mom's ring.”

Tommy nodded, pulling the ring out from the box and taking Felicity’s hand. “It is,” he replied, sliding the ring on to her finger. “I'd kind of like to start thinking of it as _yours_ though.”

“Are you--" Felicity paused, glancing at the ring on her hand. The yellow gold band stood out against her skin. The ring was heavier than she had expected. She would have to get used to the extra weight. But she loved it. She loved the way it looked on her finger, what it symbolized.

“Are you sure?” Felicity asked, still looking at the ring. “I know what this ring means to you and I don't want you to feel like you have to give me this. We can go pick out other rings, if--"

“Felicity,” Tommy laughed quietly, placing his hands on her hips as he pulled her closer. “Do you have any idea what you mean to me?”

Felicity smiled, clasping her hands around Tommy’s neck. “Yeah, I think I do.”

“Then trust me. I want you to have this ring. I've thought about… I've thought about this a lot,” Tommy said, kissing Felicity’s cheek. “Besides, it looks a lot better on you than it does in some bank vault.”

“Unless,” Tommy said, his eyes narrowing in concern as he began to pull away from Felicity. “Do you not like it? If that's what this is, then yeah, we can go look at rings together ins--"

Felicity laughed before she leaned up and kissed him.

“This ring is never leaving my finger,” Felicity promised, leaning her head against Tommy's chest.

“Good,” Tommy said, his fingers playing with the ends of Felicity’s hair.

“Are you sure all of this isn't too crazy?” Felicity asked. “We technically haven't even been out on a date.”

“It might be a little crazy,” Tommy admitted, shrugging. “But I’m okay with a little crazy. Plus, I’m pretty sure we can date _and_ be engaged at the same time.”

“And the craziness continues,” Felicity teased, pulling away from Tommy, bending down to pick up a few pieces of bubble wrap from the floor. “We should probably clean this up before my mom gets home and tries to figure out what happened.”

“Or,” Tommy said, standing behind Felicity. “We could find out how much weight bubble wrap can hold before it pops.”

Felicity stood up straight, smiling as Tommy kissed the side of her neck.

“I like the way you think.” Felicity tilted her head, as Tommy began kissing his way down to her collarbone.

“Yeah?” He mumbled against her skin.

“Yeah,” Felicity breathed, holding Tommy's hand. "Yeah, I do."


End file.
